Year-round Yuletide oddities
Some War on Christmas songs bang their drum so loudly i have no idea what side they’re against.
Pete Cummings’s “War on Christmas” is growly and pissy about them. But the protests about ‘no place in America for a good white Christian man,’ can be played either way. Who wants this anthem?
The Methmatics get armed and dangerous with their “War on Christmas,” an odd punk multimedia culture clash. The body count is higher than the alcohol content in Uncle John’s eggnog! WWBO’RD?
Let’s fool around with some more side eye on The War on Christmas. Those conservatives sound like this: fuff fu fuff uff fuffy uff fuff. Ha ha ha. Showed them up.
Erin McKeown’s Anti-Holiday Spectacular eventually introduces her singsongy ultimatum “Christmas (Love It Or Leave It)” with some strongly proclaimed un-Christian sentiments. I-ah-ron-ick!
“It’s a War on Christmas” alts out The Holiday Bloch-busters about the incursions, intrusions, and intolerance of fighting over Peace on Earth.
On the other ballot, some find cheer in singing the praise of The War on Christmas for all to hear. It sounds funny when you say the reasons out loud.
Daryl Cherney & the Patriot Act get palsied folk-right with “We’re Fighting the War on Christmas.” Can ya spit tabacky with your tongue in your cheek?
Taylor Ferrera wants to support Kirk Cameron’s 2104 movie ‘Saving Christmas’ with her kicky pop tutorial “Pagans Stole Christmas from Christians.” Take a set, there’s a lot to cover.
Back to the raisons de la guerre, or at least the musical take on why some people take offense at others taking offense.
Ramos loves guns and Jesus, distrusts politicians and CNN, but in his country pop “We Say Merry Christmas” he calls the oppositions friends (though they should mind their own business). (Unless you wanna buy the merch.)
I Don’t Know Margo wants to rock up the Yule “When I Say Merry Christmas.” American southern rock that means no disrespect.
That last post reminded me about some carol parodies about our ‘War on Christmas’…
Finger pointing and ‘All I Want’ reworkings make me uncomfortable, so let’s flip through MistleThumb (Dong Crosby, Ebenezer Spooge, Manheim Cornholer, and Douglas Firburger, feat. Doodie Garland)’s “There a War on Christmas… with Jews.” It’s funny, right? Am i looking at this wrong? (BLUE ALERT)
More awful, Joe Hart clatters out “Happy Holidays” to ‘Jingle Bells.’ The list of alternatives is nice, but the syncopation is headache inducing.
More imaginative, Steve Goodie plays with Lennon’s ‘Merry Christmas (War is Over) in his “War on Xmas is Over.” A bit strident, but pretty.
More amusing, Talking Primate’s voice breaks on “Moron’s War on Christmas,” a ‘Holly Jolly’ take off that sticks the landing.
If The ‘War on Christmas’ began on Fox News, what songs can we find about the talent therein?
Back in July ’16 we went white with Megyn Kelly’s proclamation that ‘Santa is just white, kids’ and the fun novelty song reactions. Thus were The Kinsey Sicks, Lauren Mayer, and Tom Latourette shrill, ill, and lounge. Still fun today.
Roy Zimmerman special delivers with “Bill O’Reilly’s Christmas” Special: Merry Christmas: Shut Up! A lovely folksy showtune to put us in a mood.
Wars are draw-out conflicts that grind up collateral damage like fruitcake. Is there ever a reasonable reason for a war?
Ramshackle Glory has a fun rant with their “War on Christmas.” It’s just a little too early, man. Alt poetry that’s quite against smiles.
Stiff Donut manifests their social warfare with “Class War on Christmas.” You think they hate, YOU hate with all your trees, and wreaths, and–American flags?! Garage party. BLUE ALERT
Yes, Virginia, there is a Christmas-hating tradition. We’ve been this route before. But, hawkish doom-delivering warfarers? That’s a garland too far.
You’re one of them! begins “My War on Christmas” (‘my’ being The Benefit). And you being the merry-makers of Christmas partied. Punk’s got you in its sights.
The “War on Christmas” sets guns blazing Sekcells (a fun phonetic pun). When you unleash the rap dogs of war (BLUE ALERT) they may not stop at your command any longer. The humanity! The pandas!
Stirring up sides for a merry/happy time of the year can result in hurt feelings, resentment, acute rage, and going postal. See your doctor.
Punk brings us to a head. Total Massacre’s “War on Christmas (World is Over)” smears feces all over every aspect on the season. BLUE ALERT, i guess they win.
He Who Cannot Be Named gets just a garage more melodic with their punking “War on Christmas.” Now beginnith the list of Claus’s flaws.
While exhausting the topic of ‘War on Christmas,’ do not excuse the coincidence of military incursions in late December. Whose taking sides now?
“War on Christmas Day” by Scott Coulter, Tim Di Pasqua, and Tom Anderson is a country weepie about who might not be coming home. In our woke days, it could be either one of them.
Hot Dad gets with the humorous when he suggests arming heavily for the “War on Christmas.” Slow synth pop by way of the ’80s.