Did you say Parody? ‘The Christmas Song’ isn’t exactly roasted by A.G. Simpson with a fine Reggae rendition “No Christmas song” (including a record skip) celebrates what you DON’T want out of the holidays.
ël-No, the seventh
While we’re digging through the parody barrel, let’s give a moment to the ‘Imagine’ spoof by some wise guys known as Blinky the Elf. This “Imagine” doesn’t exactly write itself, but i’m not sure who else to blame. Woo-hooo.
ël-No, the sixth
There may be a perfectly reasonable explanation why there’s no Christmas. Mayhap you’re Jewish. QED.
Its The Real unfortunately backbeats their rap “Christmas Missed Us” with McCartney’s ‘Wonderful’ to ream Santa’s anti-semitism.
An acceptable Mariah Carey parody from Momjo (Liat and Carolina) “You Don’t Get No Christmas” is fun and educational, too.
ël-No, the fifth
Poverty really puts the hammerlock on Christmas. Without trappings, feasting, or gifts would there be a holiday? Would it drive the desperate to–robbery?
Listen for clues from burrell with “No Christmas in the Hood.” Pretty, melodic rap, with a punch.
ël-No, the fourth
Dysfunctional families are famous for forgetting to observe the important days on the calendar.
The Partitioners warble some shoo-be doo-wop rock with the falsetto truth of “There is No Christmas.” If you listen carefully, you may be offended.
ël-No, the third
Sometimes… Xmas is the mark on the timeline to observe what’s no longer.
Benny Grunch compromises ‘Jingle Bells’ to recount the missing New Orleans landmarks in “Ain’t Dere No More.” (Time is so relentless, he’s got a “Pt. 2.”)
ël-No, the second
The lack of Christmas must be the result of the lack of goodness and hope and innocence. That’s right… isn’t it?
Cutesy kidpop from Dandyland makes this sad syllogism into mopey music with “No More Christmas.” Don’t you dare enjoy this.
ël-No, the first
No gifts–how ’bout just NO CHRISTMAS?! Hell no, you say?
Imagine there’s no holidays; it’s easy if you sing….
Bassist for The Jimi Hendrix Experience, Noel Redding walks us through the hinter(wonder)land of naughts with “No More Christmas” It’s all the psychedelic folk you’d expect from this master blaster. Gives me the munchies.
No-Go
The trouble with not giving presents may bring a curse upon you that will last longer than the pain of not getting any presents.
That’s what i get from occasional music youtuber Sukadikani’s “A Christmas Warning.” Pay heed to this pop hymn of worrisome-osity.
Nichts
We may have mentioned the criminal aspect of Xmas, but as a reminder: CRIME DOESN’T GET PRESENTS.
Lulu Belle and Scotty from the late 1930s regale us with the tale of the lightfingered poor daddy, “The Empty Christmas Stocking.” This old country swing is no ‘Christmas Shoes’ (Thank God), but it does tug at the purse strings. [For something a little more 21st, allow the Celtic regrouping by Misty River.]