Christmas Countdown: 2012

September Stories regrets “Christmas 2012” with downbeat pop about how you BLUE ALERTed her when we shoulda all been friends.

The Deadbeats prophecy death, zombies, and needing nothing for “Christmas 2012.” Garage grunge for today.

Weird timpanic rap from Tramaine Hopkins Unhs and rhymes that “Christmas Rocks 2012.” Discouraging.

More bummer from Glove Compartment from whom 2012 is when “Christmas is Ruined.” The old marrieds are miserable and the holidays make it worse with piano-heavy pop/rock. (Reminds me of the theme to Cheers.)

Bugle and Street lay out creole with “Jolly Christmas,” a hollering parang (‘m flashing back to Bobcat Goldthwait) that–i swear–mentions the year somewhere.

Prog rock rulez! “Christmas 2012” is on a plastic sign that appears in the relics of a past age. Spooky mysticism from ifsounds. Guitar solo!

Christmas Countdown: 2013

Another annoying family Christmas letter, The Holderness Family begins their “Xmas Jammies” music videos. Proud parents with lots of accomplishments for the whole group for this year. Ya gotsa be impressed.

Rap pain from OnCue, “After Life” is a letter to a loved one about loss and the motivation to achieve further. BLUE ALERT and two hanky recommendation.

For the realest BLUE ALERT KidCrusher’s “The Christmas Nightmare (Grinch Rap 2013)” swims in a sea of swears for no particular relief, just to do it. Exhausting.

So take me back to 2013 Christmas Eve jammin’ til’ d morning
Parangin’ door to door with Los Hombres Sexuales
That’s Christmas to me…

…to borrow a phrase. Sarah Seuky & Inzey poke through slow parang with their “December Dream,” more Chicago jazz than Trini beat. But, finally, an original Christmas song. Thanks.

Christmas Countdown: 2014

When you’ve suffered a loss around Christmas, that becomes a focal point of the holiday. “#Remembering” from Son Scotty raps that loss while clinging to Grammy ambition.

To turn it around, The Holderness Family is back with “#JammieTime,” family home movies that make them seem better than us–with R.E.M. music to back them up.

“Christma$ Twenty Fourteen” may not speak the date, but honors the time with a pop/rap mashup torn from interior sentimentality. Jay Stansfield is xylophones of fun.

Christmas Countdown: 2015

Well, it’s Christmas 2015 in this shit-eating corporate dream, mourns The Felice Brothers with folk peevishness in “Carriage.” Everything sucks, and BLUE ALERT–if you hadn’t noticed.

Prefer sunshine? Hail The Holderness Family who ‘give back’ to their fans with “#Elfed,” a parody rap attempt to trend sudden jammie dancing in public. Thanks to their posted past accomplishments i know now they were spoofed on SNL.

Or just odd–?? fredfloston begs Santa “Don’t Break My Heart (Break My Balls)” in true electronic pop gonzo awfulness. This message is Stardate: December third, 2015.

Experimental cool from Zachary Byner’s “Scary Merry Christmas” hearkens back to that murderer in the house 2015. Adulterated (at least childish) pop that’s troubling more than scary.

Christmas Countdown: 2016

“2016 Hurray Hurray for Christmas” is so happy the election is over (goodbye to Trump and Hillary!). But that was short sided, not a good look for folk. Mostly about Greg Helmer’s friends and family, not the world at large.

A parody from BSam “Don’t Worry, Be Jolly” also mentions how shocking this year is–

So, back to The Holderness Family with a “Merry Christmas 2016” music rap: all the positive news of the year including the Cavs, Gilmore Girls, ‘Hamilton,’ the mannequin challenge, and a new puppy. The big deal is IT’s ALL IN ONE TAKE. Infectious.

Christmas Countdown: 2017

From Runaway, The Musical “The World Keeps Spinning” begins with Christmas 2017. It’s depressing, but a show tune.

Vampire Weekend sings “How Long” in 2019 about how it seems like Halloween since Christmas 2017. This little pop hand plucker synths existential angst into dreamy verse. As it should be.

The Holderness Family returns with their “Christmas Jammies 2017” this time with fan videos celebrating triumphs throughout the white nation.

It all started for Malinda’s honesty in 2017. Refugees, student loan debt, and forest fires vs. ice bucket challenge, the eradication of polio, and hope make for “An Honest Christmas Song for 2017.”

Christmas Countdown: 2018

Web nastiness vs Harry+Megan, Melinda touts and tortures the year with her “An Honest 2018 Christmas (help).” Return to the thrilling days of yesteryear with fine a cappella vocals.

In a similar vein The Holderness Family, a professional video excreter, take M&M music and rap out their yearly accomplishments in “Christmas Jammies 2018“–which are much more uplifting than the news.

Neon Star Sky has one of those big-things-happened around Xmas time numbers with their New Age “Realization.” 2018 and 2015 are both holidays of epiphanies, both negative. Bummer. But it’s my kinda musical-type vibrating.

“Deck/Wreck the Halls” by Big Eazy & Tiny Dancer (feat. Double $ $lick) is a handy comedy bit on a trad carol (with fun switcher parody 2 minutes in), but the boys do not want this to be the worst Christmas party of 2018. So, mm-kay.

Christmas Countdown: 2019

2020 gets all the noise, but i wanna include Brett Laffin’s highly amusing “Christmas in Lockdown [2020]” here because this pop banger sadly reminisces about the innocence off 2019. And bc otherwise i wouldn’t have enough songs to fit here.

Malinda’s back (ft. schmoyoho) with climate change (& Greta inspired student walkouts) and–even worse–the Game of Thrones finale. On the bright side, Baby Yoda! “An Honest Christmas 2019” runs for cover for the next year with its a cappella parodies. Whoops.

Chuckklez goes BLUE ALERT about what 2019 can do in “Silent Night Unholy Night.” Tinkling metal.

Industry electro-pop hymn always has a home here. on the blog, so yung walnut’s “Christmas Special 2019” is the lead-in music we HAVE been looking for. Thank you, it was quite a wait.

Colin Carbonera gets fingerpoppin’ and bongo(heart)beating with some soulful “Happy Birthday, Jesus.” He wants to party like it’s 2019. Me, too. (This was also published in 2020.)

Christmas Countdown: 2020

Now for historical documents: songs that salute the year they hail from. Hindsight? Not much! Anger? Oh, yeah.

Malinda does her annual Xmas card with “An Honest 2020 Christmas.” Her angel/devil debate over how sucky the year was includes murder hornets, John Krasinski, TikTok, and global death totals. Much witty parodising of carols.

A different approach comes from The Holderness Family, whose “Christmas Jammies 2020” (a tradition beginning in 2013) celebrates drive throughs, less pollution, UFO acknowledgments, ‘Parasite,’ and the Christmas Star (juxtaposition of Saturn and Jupiter). Rap (The Killers) parody upness.

“2020: A Virtual Christmastime” by Sam Gecko (feat. Kristen Leah) is a lively pop tune about Covid and masking and isolating and whatnot. Party! I said, Party! I can’t hear you! No, you’re on mute.

Actual parody–now about Hanukkah!–The Waitresses don’t quite take a back seat for Haim’s “Christmas Wrapping 2020 (all I want for christmas is a vaccine).” The election, cutting one’s own hair, emotional meltdowns… oy vey.

Buck Æ Down appropriately downers the year with superlatives. Fine folk is “2020 Christmas” with its class warfare, police brutality, racism, and economic failure. And Alex Trebek?!

Upbeating, The Sons of Pitches (feat. Dan Bull) a cappella “Best Christmas” about hand washing and vaccines and whistling!

Desperate for positivism, Nathan Ro goes lounge easy listening for his “2020 Christmas.” Great masking joke.

Dominique’s “2020 Christmas” is ethereal pop about over drinking and all the reasons to do so (12?).