Year-round Yuletide oddities
It’s about time we got another love song. Young Disciple (feat. Katelyn Pitzer, Mekenna Simpson & Big Yawn) rapid rap how they wanna be forever, till we go to heaven Be together till we hit that big 107. “You Are the One” is the title, message, and refrain. Big feelings. With tambourine.
Infinity Greenhouse confides the startling news that Santa died–109 years ago. After a quick deal with the devil, however, he rose again for “Santa’s Revenge.” It’s unclear here who the target of this payback is… but, now the world will just end. So now you know, to the tune of boy-band light rock.
Layla Khepri reimagines “Joy to the World” as a holiday burden on her, rapping about the growing woes–that is, until the drugs kick in. She gives 110, she sez, the world revolving around her. They’ll take me naughty or nice Just to have me— And it IS naughty, but not too blue alert.
More than a few wild and wacky songs slip through the cracks and don’t appear on my blog b/c i just can’t find a copy of ’em not no wheres.
But when the entire special musical “A Very Jimdog Christmas” is available through Bug TV+, i will not fail to point out Peeboop Jimdog’s ‘Silent Night.’ After his special is snowed out, a depressed chipmunk-sounding Jimdog wants Doordash to bring him a cheeseburger to room 116. That’s the whole song. You can find it just after the ten minute mark in the video. Or take my word for it. Or watch the whole special. I double dare you.
Oddly Irish-sounding, “Christmas with the Achmed Family” suffers due to the endless desert, 117 degrees, and opposing faith. But Jeff Dunham drags the comedy out of their unflappable suffering. So that’s a bit of fun.
“God’s Christmas” by Johnathan Boggarty and the Yoghurt Man is the alt-folk rock argument the 118 year-old Jesus has with his dad (mediated by the Holy Spirit) about going out to a party for Christmas. He tries to trick his Mom into letting him go, but God turns the other cheek and–
Tommy Lee Sparta liquifies the English language with his Jamiacan rap “Shelly Christmas.” This rabbit hole of crime/violence drills deeper and deeper. Nothing merry gwan awn hyere. Call 119! (Emergency Services for Jamaica). [Shelly might be some Olympian trek star from the island, dunno.]
Fortune Kit lays his rap lines for pop purposes in “Silly Santa’s Christmas Kisses.” Hot rodding (I’m doin’ 120, they told me to pull over the sled), drugging (I got a pile of snow like Bobby Brown and Whitney), minor crimes (Santa’s Bringing Christmas cards that expired last year), and more (Crooked cops lookin’ at Donner and Blitzen like yiff yiff)–! Maybe there won’t be a Christmas next year….
Sometimes the first three digits aren’t the beginning, just a configuration.
Kayla Perez re-roots us to the original material (Matthew 1:23) in the swaying “The Best Gift.” Rafters vibrated, if not raised.
It’s easy as 1-2-3 to observe Christmas for Apostle in the oompah-pop “More Than a Beauty.” Kicky. Catchy.
MxPx’s “Christmas Party” occurs at 123 Sycamore. Punk hi jinx. Weee!
KC Star (feat. Avery Bruce) overplay the pop syncopation to achieve a anxious look-out for Santa. Get comfy in my bed, hey, maybe count some sheep (1-2-3) instructs “A Christmas Carol?” Confused? So are the closeted artists.
‘Nuttin’ for Christmas’ anchors “I’m Working Retail for Christmas.” We Are the Union enacts the rude shoppers (“1-2-3 pick it up pick it up”) as well as the sad stockers (I’ll gladly move if you just say “please”). Rollicking punk.
Kicking off a kick-ass carol might begin with a ‘count up.’ A one anna two anna–take it away Lawrence Welk–!
Kelly Clarkson begins “Winter’s Dreams (Brandon’s Song)” with staccato vibrancy. But it’s all pop/love treacle. Ho, ho hum.
Even more pop, K-pop in point of fact, Wa$$up toggle ‘twixt languages for their “Jingle Bell.” But the 1,2,3 let’s go is serious this time.
1,2,3 go intros the silky rap (oddly to ‘Winter Wonderland’) “I Saw Mommy Kissing Sacramento Santa.” There’s a 916 Sacramento area code reference in there, too–but Big TL gives us very soft-core blue language. So, for MOST of the family.
But 1,2,3 Go! needs some (punk) rock for true trajectory. So, “Socks for Christmas” from The Wish You Weres is a contentious (hence, BLUE ALERT) reaction to the bourgeois platitude that is the gift-without-thought. Well… GO!