Sweetbox enumerates the mistakes she WON’T make anymore “This Christmas.” Trying to be not so naughty she declares: I won’t be victimized By Christmas sales or 2-4-1 offers. Anthem pop that marches strong despite the tail between the legs.
Christmas Countdown: 2:45
Shama Mrema and PD revisit the synth keyboard chattering pop of the ’80s for the revelatory downer “Post-Christmas Slump.” Everyone’s busy, no work, nothing much to do, It’s 2:45 P.M., I haven’t gotten up. Millennial blues, dude.
Christmas Countdown: 24/7
365 is not enough Christmas. Try it all the hours of the day, all the days of the week. (But not all the days of the month.)
rwsrvnt interrupts his “White Christmas” celebration with the point that, being from Florida, he’s used to a time and place Where the tree tops swing And the ocean breeze Is 24/7. Calypso electronica, but it drags a bit.
The Jonas Brothers also phone in the love song “Like It’s Christmas.” See, Twenty four seven Every inch of Central Park Is covered in white This could be heaven–‘cuz it’s with you. Watered down pop.
Girl harmony rife with purrs and slurs, “25 Days of Christmas” doesn’t seduce so much as put you on notice: We’re gonna share 25 days of Christmas baby, 24-7 with the family. With, yaknow, game night & chores & and & picking up ‘fore we go to bed. I guess. Weak pop–sorta soul.
Slowed down, low impact musicality works better with the bedroom-eyed R+B of Matthyaz. “Let It All Go” admits, I need some presents I might need some snow And you in my arms under that mistletoe I want this shit 24/7. You are just a piece of the perfect picture, bae. Standoffish works for ya, yeah? (Melted me, a bit.)
Christmas Countdown: 251/250
Marco and Mando lounge us to amused-ness with “Oh What? A Christmas time.” Somewhere ‘twixt the expired eggnog, turkey spanking, and stolen mail they sing: Ohh what a sight, it’s 251, so delightful Grandma’s drunk, asking me And she’s puking on me. But it’s a pretty carol.
Of Montreal get under your da-da with the delightfully random “Christmas Isn’t Safe for Animals.” This gentle pop nonsense–besides looking out for the creatures of Creation–advises you to buy appliances from Sears for 225$–or just 250$ a month. Wow. Just wow.
Christmas countdown: 270
Roger Creager admits “I Got the Guns” back around Christmas ’79. This rocking country codependency is as fetishistic as it sounds, ending with the list: Just and old bolt-action 16 gauge; And my grandmother’s 410; A 270 that my dad fired once–He brought a mule deer in. Woo.
Judging and smoking, Mr. Loaf fronts that he comes from the 270 in “Gingerloaf.” Could be Greensboro, NC. Could be Bowling Green, KY. Sure it’s the tough part of wherever, though. Christmas is not a bright spot in this rap.
Christmas Countdown: 278
Pickup Sticks is sad, western rocking “I Wish It Was Christmas” from the bowels of summer. That electric bill just went up to two-hundred seventy-eight, just the amount returning gifts would bring. Or, wait, maybe the cold of December wouldn’t ramp up the AC usage. Regardless, i too wish it so–and dig their twangy tirade.
Christmas Countdown: 300
Three hundred may be magic for bowling, but what else can we say about it? Sure, it’s a triangular number and the sum of a pair of twin primes (149 + 151), as well as the sum of ten consecutive primes (13 + 17 + 19 + 23 + 29 + 31 + 37 + 41 + 43 + 47) and, okay, it is palindromic in 3 consecutive bases: 30010 = 6067 = 4548 = 3639, and also in base 13. But other than that….
John the Singer invites you to drink 300 beers now that you’ve made it through the shitstorm of this year. BLUE ALERT “Merry Ducking Christmas” ducks no punches in an experimental garage kind of way. Sounds like how existential angst feels.
The Macc Lads get way more BLUE ALERT with their “Jingle Bells.” Sex is like breathing for these hardcore punkers. See, when Beater found 300 johnnies in his Christmas stocking We didn’t see him ’til New Year’s Eve. That’s 300 condoms in one week, mathematicians.
Jamie Cullum’s “The Pianoman at Christmas” has got three hundred songs about Santa Claus under my fingers. This psychological study adds symphony to the lonely. Worth a listen.
On the lighter side, June Christy wishes you “The Merriest” for Christmas and the next 300 and some odd days. This swingin’ jazz easy listening needs listening to. It’s hep, cat.
Christmas Countdown: 303
Red was Here has a slight problem with “Christmas in Devon (Devon?)” being as how it’s the in-laws to visit, innit? He proposes to take the A30 beat rush hour, straight up the 303 and onto Cobham. Maybe wouldn’t be so bad a drive, but still brit-screaming pop-punk, see?
Christmas Countdown: 305 [light blue]
If love is a battlefield, gifts are a strategy. Trey Songz raps down on the special purchases made for his lovely just to get the hoes mad. “#Christmas (Guess Who)” includes the purchase of a Hublot 305 for his own self (a watch that costs more than a car). Got it/flaunt it.
Christmas Countdown: 311 [BLUE ALERT]
What’s going on on the third floor? Well, come around the holidays Gnarwhalz is white-boy rapping about “Christmas in 311,” an unfortunate expletive-laden get-down witchyo funky-ness.