Christmas Countdown: 200 BLUE ALERT

Still into the triple digits, but now we’re at the line between heavyweight and the lower weights. The first unprimable number. The big two-double-oh.

Easy folk-alts “Christmas Memories” about watching ‘Home Alone’ 200 times and liking the photo albums better with rum. But when she comes hither with maybe tonight We can make another Christmas memory, the song gains traction and violins and tubular bells. Childlike wonder sits well on this giggly grownup.

I just spent 200 on my friend’s list, regrets Shayla Hamady in “I’m Broke But Happy Holidays.” This alt-lounge serenade is a cool goof on celebrating, but the pissiness lingers like unwashed socks.

The duo Schmab brings it home with the colliding culture shock of “Fuck Yeah Christmas,” a gospel rant of dysfunctional proportions. Finally a song to fully reference a Red Ryder carbide action 200-shot range model air rifle and the Roker polar vortex. Ah, men.

Christmas Countdown: 216 BLUE ALERT

Pineapple Posse wants to celebrate the holidays, but–clinging to street red–swear they won’t take “No L“–not from nobody. Lazy sex references and casual violence attribution frame: I’m back on the mic 216 Up in the heights, yeah the Posse down to fight. That’s likely a reference to the area code for E. Cleveland’s Shaker Heights. Must be some down-and-dirty there to warrant this rudderless rap.

Christmas Countdown: 223 BLUE ALERT

German whisper-rapper LoadTronic spins down the drug trail in “Christmas Cheesecake,” a reference to how his homies are stacked (??!). It ain’t a dream you just see me bubble ball out 223 Yeah I go up now. This number could be the ungodly time, or the Minneapolis municipal code against drug paraphernalia, or the number of pages in a Cheesecake Factory menu… dunno. But it’s lyrically street.