Bob Rivers satirizes the David Bowie/Bing Crosby harmony on ‘Little Drummer Boy’ with “Rummy Rocker Boy.” Here a (perhaps dead) Bing teams up with a metal-rocker (Roach from the band Vomit) to drink and sing and drink. The banter includes: Now be careful son that is 151, so we know it’s the real Bacardi.
Christmas Countdown: 163
Not to shy away from the super-odd, “Rap, Clap, Slap” is the electronically distorted not quite fluent in English slightly Christmas themed rando-rap from Lars Epsensen, ending with the dutiful that was 163 words.
Christmas Countdown: 173
The Stupendium is back with “A Very Scary Christmas,” another minor key holiday visit with horror monsters from pop culture–including SCP-173, the concrete killer from the ‘SCP-Containment Breach’ video game. This guy has got some musical chops, so elevate expectations and try this.
Christmas Countdown: 179
Canadian cartoonist Joren Cull outcounted us all with the nine hour jamboree “The 179 Days of Christmas.” I am not kidding. Hats (which is number 133) off to him. I dare you! [If you do have a life, however, the below link will get you the less-than-a-minute sample.] Lyrics are available, but lotta this stuff is Canadian, so… huh?
Christmas Countdown: 187 BLUE ALERT
G-Mo Skee pulls a 187 on your misconceptions, that is “Filthmas Origins (The Prequel)” murders the ordinary view of our Christian observance. This rap on the hella-pagan satan-worshippin’ heathen holiday pulls no punches. I mean, BLUE ALERT, a’ight. Look out. There’s history.
Christmas Countdown: 200 BLUE ALERT
Still into the triple digits, but now we’re at the line between heavyweight and the lower weights. The first unprimable number. The big two-double-oh.
Easy folk-alts “Christmas Memories” about watching ‘Home Alone’ 200 times and liking the photo albums better with rum. But when she comes hither with maybe tonight We can make another Christmas memory, the song gains traction and violins and tubular bells. Childlike wonder sits well on this giggly grownup.
I just spent 200 on my friend’s list, regrets Shayla Hamady in “I’m Broke But Happy Holidays.” This alt-lounge serenade is a cool goof on celebrating, but the pissiness lingers like unwashed socks.
The duo Schmab brings it home with the colliding culture shock of “Fuck Yeah Christmas,” a gospel rant of dysfunctional proportions. Finally a song to fully reference a Red Ryder carbide action 200-shot range model air rifle and the Roker polar vortex. Ah, men.
Christmas Countdown: 2:14
Perhaps as a palate cleanser, The Worship Together Kids perform “Luke 2:14” as ‘The Promise of Christmas.’ This sprightly pop is uplifting, but no mere gospel praise. It’s a catchy tune!
Christmas Countdown: 216 BLUE ALERT
Pineapple Posse wants to celebrate the holidays, but–clinging to street red–swear they won’t take “No L“–not from nobody. Lazy sex references and casual violence attribution frame: I’m back on the mic 216 Up in the heights, yeah the Posse down to fight. That’s likely a reference to the area code for E. Cleveland’s Shaker Heights. Must be some down-and-dirty there to warrant this rudderless rap.
Christmas Countdown: 223 BLUE ALERT
German whisper-rapper LoadTronic spins down the drug trail in “Christmas Cheesecake,” a reference to how his homies are stacked (??!). It ain’t a dream you just see me bubble ball out 223 Yeah I go up now. This number could be the ungodly time, or the Minneapolis municipal code against drug paraphernalia, or the number of pages in a Cheesecake Factory menu… dunno. But it’s lyrically street.
Christmas Countdown: 2:30
In other holiday observations, Sugarbabes sweetly countrify their pop in “New Year.” Sitting here stressing at 2:30 am About how fast a year can go, I wonder where it went If we start all over again, would it really work? Post holiday loneliness is a real thing, friends.