Category: rock

And a Party in a Pear Tree: the opposite of headbanging

Are you ready to party? ARE. YOU. READY! TO. PARTY!? Crank IT!

Just kidding.

Some parties are just so middle class, so slow-paced, so–so OLD that, well, it’s not like a party at all.

Snoresville from Mick J Clark. “It’s Christmas Party Time” has more musical guest chatter than it has pop melody, and i LIKE tubular bells.

Sam Scola has a headache-inducing bit of pop puffery with “The Christmas Party.” Give that tambourine a rest, man.

Hypnotically, Desk Jockeys trundle out a “Christmas Party (Dance Mix)” like an alt-cocktail lounge pop slow dance number. Line up by height!

Millennially ironic merriment from Chloe Rabideau and David Vukovich. But “Christmas Party Song” is so alt-low key that the back-patting wide-grinning love fest gives a round of applause to the line ‘Share the love.’

Just as quietly boisterous, Dr. Dog has a “Christmas Party” with ’60s psychedelic influences that oohs and ahhs with liquid serenity. It’s more lay the carpet than raise the roof.

And a Party in a Pear Tree: swingin’

How cool is your Christmas party? Are you hearing THESE sounds?

Frantic pop rap from Luke testifies “Christmas Time is Party Time.” Freakin’ about time we got our party music on.

‘Billy from Karling Abbeygate grinds the gears and whoops the wassail. “Christmas Party” is down and dirty fun.

“Christmas Party” can be about the dancing or the gifting… or the grooving. Brendan Hanlon & The Batmen lean into this ’60s rock smasher and make your hips swivel.

And a Party in a Pear Tree: you, yes you

Didn’t get the invitation? Well, i’m axing you to Come. On. Over. Xmas Party!

Ultimate Duo hits it with jazz syncopated rap in their “Christmas Party (1505).” It’s short and gets right to the dance moves. You in?

The Dead Milkmen are sweetly earnest with their “Christmas Party” invitation. Rollicking unplugged rock. ‘Cuz it’ll be fun.

‘Come on over’ Elvis-impersonates Kerr Donnelly Band with “Christmas Party.” Grab your baby, excuse me, did you forget? I said grab her.

WAR! metaphor

War can mean so many things. And we’ve run out of left vs. right songs.

The Ohio City Singers have painted us a breakup of holiday proportions in their “War on Christmas.” Power ballad rock with a sloppy slice of soul that unseats Ares/Mars and shoos up Eros/Cupid. Call Van Morrison!

WAR! in denial

The War on Christmas? Is it all noise and nonsense?

Jamie Kilstein claims he is ‘yet to see it.’ “War on Christmas” is fun pop that rocks the reasonableness… wait, what’s with all the angry (BLUE ALERT) reactions to today’s problems? Oh, he has his own variety of war. Wage on.

“(Ain’t No) War on Christmas” is the funky reply from Zen Fuse Box. All that boogaloo has blinded them to the realities of the troubles.

The Mockers pay tribute to the protest rock of the ’60s with “(There’s No War on Christmas) When Christmas is in Your Heart.” Ahh, love. What do we do with that now?

WAR! can’t join ’em

Back to the raisons de la guerre, or at least the musical take on why some people take offense at others taking offense.

Ramos loves guns and Jesus, distrusts politicians and CNN, but in his country pop “We Say Merry Christmas” he calls the oppositions friends (though they should mind their own business). (Unless you wanna buy the merch.)

I Don’t Know Margo wants to rock up the Yule “When I Say Merry Christmas.” American southern rock that means no disrespect.

Dependent Claus: him or him

Will Mrs. Claus confront the man in her life about the other man (men?)? Could be a fight coming–

Santa better get outta their way when Kyle Tennis & The Riverside Swing Band confess their swinging blues feelings for “Mrs. Claus.”

Not exactly pressing the ultimatum, Craig Sperry knows how “Mrs. Claus” would be better off. Raw blues rock. Spookily sincere for its absurdity.

Dependent Claus: cuckolding him to second base

How can Mrs. Claus keep warm when Santa’s delivering the toys? Some naughty boys have some rascally ideas.

Some of these adulterous allegations are couched in kid-friendly imagery, so i figure lots of fooling around–but nothing x-rated. See for yourself: “Mrs. Claus is on the Naughty List” by HawkBaby. Autotuning the swing doesn’t exactly qualify for a blue alert.

Ross and Dave have moves for “Mrs. Claus (I’m in Love with You).” Sweet Elvis classic rock moves, i do believe.

One night only, but Hayden Stearns wants to fulfill Mrs. C’s dreams. “Hey Mrs. Claus” is Euro-pop rock with bouncy flirtatiousness. Only slightly nasty.

The Barr Brothers use harp and Hawaiian strumming to retro ballad “Dear Mrs. Claus.” These are the moves, my men. Take note.

Dependent Claus: trial separation

It seems only yesterday true love was in the air for Mr. and Mrs. Claus. Now the bloom is off the rose, and not just in a comical way. Are those papers in her hand?

Superior retro rock’n’roll from Emmy the Great & Time Wheeler: “(Don’t Call Me) Mrs. Christmas.” It’s super slick bompdedomp, but she’s out the door—!

Island time! What better accompaniment to getting away from the North than steel drums as The Cabana Men conga line the betterment of “Mrs. Claus.” Sorry, i thought you needed a break from quality entertainment.

A note, a missing suitcase… “Mrs. Claus” is already gone according to James Leo Oliver, who might be overplaying the American rock guitar riffs. Bluesy, but so loud!