Category: rock

If the twenty-sixth is the day AFTER, is it good/bad/indifferent?

Was it all a dream? wonders Uncle Billy with lounge jazz mush-mouthedness. “December 26” haunts with its bourgeoisie.

Saying goodbye can be bittersweet, i guess. “December 26” by Jangle Bells is ambivalent, but short. Bedroom folk.

Can’t believe i get to welcome back Matt Farley with all his pop improv oddness as The Best Birthday Band Ever with “It’s December 26 (And It’s Your Birthday!).” Nothing to do with Christmas… or does it?

Ever since our first “December 26“th, Duncan Pelletier wants you to know he can change. Christmas sows the seeds for what I can’t explain: Too much time to sit and miss the rain, I know the feeling, I’ve felt the same. Alt-pop deep dish poetry.

Millennial crisis often involves not knowing what now? Just waking up to that is Justin Cross’s “December 26th.” Not too serious, so grungey pop.

“Santa Claus. December 26” reveals with marvy ’60s pop/rock that the day after is exhausting. Careful how you come down, and watch out for Brad!

“Christmas in Colorado” is that odd country-mouse rap about… how cold the snowy landscape is? [Seeing all them Christmas trees Up in the mountains 28 degrees.] Shredding has never seemed so calm.

Marshal Keep creates a tennis match of good/bad aspects in “Christmas’ Wonderful Things.” The lights and decorations that your neighbor put up look great But he put them up way too early on August 28th. Rocking folk uke.

NOW it’s cold enough! To stay inside and play nookie. So, the new version of how cold it is outside (all consensual and non-rapey) is Rob Vischer’s country pop “So in Love at Christmas Time.” You could dance to it.

“Bad Santa” is ‘Bo Didley’ done Xmas by Shorty Garrett. How bad is he? OSHA would be looking into his working conditions for those 32 hoofs on frozen roofs.

What else is 32 and glisten just like a Christmas Tree??? “My Shiny Teeth and Me“!! This Fairly Odd Parents song (Chip Skylark [Chris Kirkpatrick]) gets the hard rock cover by Sink the Ship. Rock out as needed.

Updating the sentiment of Nat King Cole’s ‘Little Boy,’ Blu & Exile wonder why “Christmas Missed Us.” Didn’t get the GI Joe when he was a kid, but only two pennies. Now, he’s thirty-four and got cheese. Sad, but not rude, rap.

Jamin Bradley, sadly, wants you to know “Baby I’m a Grinch.” Gonzo & Rizzo, Turbo Man, Tim Allen, Buddy the Elf, the Kranks, Charlie Brown all get their licks from this critic. Worst off–don’t check 34th street The only miracle Is staying awake through that movie. Sweetly melodic soul rap.

Sloppy Seconds don’t like it when THEY want to know what the Christmas plans are–the only thing in the works is (falling asleep to Miracle on 34th Street on TV) a “Lonely Christmas.” Tragic, but raging rock (in a popular music vein).

Just get some 38 Special holiday cheer! country-rocks .38 Special in their self congratulatory “A Wild-Eyed Christmas Night.” ‘Sall about the partying. “Skynyrd Family” continues that party [38’ll be there too!] with more comical pickin’.

Although the nostalgia takes us back to when I was ten and didn’t want to wait, Sum41 refer to themselves (and this title) in “Unwritten Christmas.” So, we’ll count it. Fun rocking (and occasional rapping).

Owl City ends up with 45 pairs of socks in their NewAge rock “Peppermint Winter.” Unimaginative present, but good timing.

Lauren Davidson knows how to cozy up with the schlock country music, the fireplace, and the Sinatra 45. Sigh up with “We’re Just Warming Up.“

Ray Stevens has a different visitor on the night before Christmas. But “The King of Christmas” leaves him a 45 (that’s a baby vinyl record, kids) (and maybe some sequins on the snow). Bebopping rock from the King of Cornball.

More money, more music. 50£ is not the same as 50$. Reptilians celebrate “Christmas is a Time for Giving” with all the British pomp of the homeland of Dickens. So take this fifty pound note And buy the biggest turkey in Haighs they proclaim amidst the ska pounding. My kind of party.

50p is not 50¢ either. So Slowthai is poorer in his BLUE ALERT “Slow Down (Santa),” a Brit-rap that suffers in need: 50p flats, 50p please
I was on the raise like a beggar in the street.

Also accented from worse off lands, “JOP Evil Christmas” rails against the poverty–with violence! When dah rifle yah buss the Christmas hot like Summer 50 caliber a spray like shower, blood a run a run out of boy body like water. It’s Xmas either way, innit? BLUE ALERT care of Aidonia · Navino · Deablo · Tanso.

Kaiser Chiefs give us a break with a singsongy alt-pop “Sunday Morning“–catchy as all get out. Reaching for better he finds: Sunday morning with your Sunday papers; Have your Sunday dinner with your kids and your second wife. It’s Sunday morning, read your Sunday papers, With your Christmas slippers on and 50 colour supplements.

Back to our irregularly scheduled anger: “Punk Rock Xmas” as slung by Left Unread is a childish tantrum of wanting what’s improper. I wanna drink 50 beers With all of Santa’s reindeers. And it’s not really punk.