Category: pop music

Orange is not much associated with winter, it being all autumnally marked. But it should be the color of the roaring yule log in the heart-warming hearth.

And it is the color of those things you (used to) get in the Christmas stockings (treats because they were rare for this time of year). Old El Vez will walk you through the idea with his low class family recounting “Orange for Christmas.” It only seems depressing, until you hear the catch in his vocals.

Let’s return to those thrilling days of post-9/11! Chuck Varesco has a dated bit o’ funny about the alerts and state of fear malingering in the air even at our special time of year: “Code Orange Christmas.” Sing-a-long with the bouncing Dick Cheney head.

Dogs have owners, cats have staff.

So let’s make some fun of those rascally rat-catchers! While Garfield, Heathcliff, Sylvester, and Hobbes have no notable carols about themselves…Grumpy Cat (and friends) sing about the travails of being good for Santa in “It’s Hard to be a Cat at Christmas.” Since this is Friskies sponsored, mostly they are forbearing and petable. Yeah, right.

I can’t abide animal sounds morphed into words/carols to humorous effect (though i do own the albums). So let’s just say Talking Kitty Cat is passable while singing “I Don’t Give a Damn about Christmas.” The lengthy skit set up is somewhat helpful. I liked the song more.

Another previously famous cat, Stimpy, is terribly disgusting with his holiday rendition of “Cat Hairballs” to the tune of ‘Jingle Bells.’ Parts can be the worst.

More aggressively “The Kitty Ate the Tinsel On the Christmas Tree“–a confessional sung by the Marty Gold Children’s Chorus like they’re facing down a school auditorium full of beaming, filming parents. Seems like a self correcting problem, eventually.

Apocalyptically, “The Yule Cat” eats naughty children for Christmas. You may learn the legend and the dread courtesy of The Hull Soul Collective. Or you can garage rock to Mozart Rottweiler with Sinister Undertones also revelling in this Icelandic traditional saga.

Back home, Shorty ond Kodi get precious and mean (appropriately cat-like) with their “I’m Climbing up the Christmas Tree Neow” complete with dopily adorable videos and sfx.

Ever Since “A Visit from St. Nicholas,” what’s it been now–like 95 years? mice figure prominently into the season’s greetings. But C. Clement Moore suggested they shut their holes.

Instead they sing/are sung to.

Seriously, celebrities get behind these.

Check out Debbie Reynolds and Donald O’Connor with “Chrissy the Christmas Mouse.” This is what good boys and girls listened to.

Apparently the little guy (disease carrying rodent) helping the big guy (St. Nick) is what it’s all about. “Santa Mouse” may be familiar to more of you–he got a gift for Santa! Burl Ives does his regally laconic version and it’s a real lesson. Bob Morrison updates this with rollickin’ pop flute. Now i can do the frug! But, it you want to really swing, let’s drop in of Jerry Vale (he of ‘Ciao, Ciao, Bambina’, ‘Arrivederci, Roma’, and ‘Volare’ fame) and really mellow down to the beat “Santa Mouse.”

So what have we learned from a decade of Christmas songs?

England’s Elvis, Billy Fury, first charts in 1959 with pretty pieces like “My Christmas Prayer.” In the ’60s he will rival The Beatles for top ten hits in the UK. But this style of rock is getting old here.

Johnny Houston, with “Gimme a Kiss for Christmas,” rocks it Fats Domino style, but colors between the lines without going for it. We need to trade up.

Nearly a dozen different doo wop groups with names like Marquis stepped off street corners in Detroit, Chicago, Philly, and Nyark to lay down tinselly tracks. It would take a meticulous musicologist to trace each’s hit list. For now, let us bask in the Marquees’ “Santa Done Got Hip.” It will make you more hip. Then, sit down comfortably, because “Christmas in the Congo” by Marquees just got weird.

Girls gotta rock, too. Marquerita Trina syncopates “The Rocking Tree” to a wailing sax and a playful axe.

More Detroit doo wop, natch! The 4 Imperials recorded only for a couple years. In fact “Santa Got a Coupe DeVille” may be their last platter. But with it we’re riding roadster rock into the ’60s.

Boyhood chum of Rickie Nelson, Zane Ashton (orig. Bill Aken) was one of those guys in The Wrecking Crew, the musicians all cool rock gods in the ’60s had lay down tracks for them in the studio recordings.  Not much of a soloist, here is an early rockabilly number from him “The Christmas Spirit.” What an acid trip of echo effects and tinkly percussion.

Edd Byrnes is known as ‘Kookie’ from the ABS detective series 77 Sunset Strip. Here’s a wild ride from him: “Yulesville/Lonely Christmas.” I don’t know what to tell you, except that’s 1959, baby.

Canadian rockers The Martels bring it home with “Rockin’ Santa Claus.” Dance, Dancer, dance!

post scriptum:

I’ve had some fun judging sounds of the ‘Fifties, but i don’t know the history of rock ‘n’ roll at all. I have skimmed some websites, researched some groups, and drawn my own conclusions for whatever humorous or profound effect i could conjure. Plenty better historians out there can set you straight as to the geneology of cool (like that blackboard in ‘School of Rock’). I’m just sharing what i’ve heard and what i’ve found and i hope that twists no ones nose. Peace.

Music matures before our eyes here. Music for under-thirties all begins to sound like rock.

Switching up honky tonk country with a twist of the blues, Chuck Berry has been blasting out the hits since ‘Maybellene’ in 1955. This year with “Merry Christmas Baby” Berry plays it cool. Cool as a rock.

Switching up doo wop with a percussive beat, The Montereys wail in an unreleased single from near this time (?) “Santa Claus Gained More Weight.” Are you not rocked?

Switching DOWN the gospel with tubular bells and a touch of sass, Georgia Harris and The Lyrics propose “Let’s Exchange Hearts for Xmas.” Rockety rock, McRockerson.

The only trend in rock we have to watch out for is the white sport coat crowd, the follow-authority fellas and ladies who think The Four Aces are just swell. These types rock out to the tunes ‘Love is a Many Splendored thing’ and ‘Three Coins in the Fountain.’ I guess the boys can’t help how white they are. Bear in mind they started the ‘Fifties with an odd number (‘There’s a Christmas Tree in Heaven’), and now continue the blah band sound (‘bland’) of “The Christmas Tree.” Fairy land, kids!

 

Elvis releases his first single (‘That’s All right’) this year. Let’s see what the new generation is listening to for the holidays…

Betty Johnson cashes in on the pop parade with “I Want Eddie Fisher for Christmas.” Oddly this tepid waltz does not seem to be the class of music Eddie Fisher would want to be a part of. Linda Strangis leads Spike Jones and His City Slickers with another (jazzier) rendition.

The height of doo wop for the holidays becomes “White Christmas” by The Drifters. This today has become a standard and sadly has become mired in controversy over who created the wonderful blackening of Der Bingle. Let’s just say Cool.

Swinging and hep, the Davis Sisters deliver “The Christmas Boogie.” Adapting boys’ doo wop with their own amazing gospel, these sisters testify to the rock. Wild!

Ramping up that doo wop, Oscar McLollie and the Honey Jumpers wail out “Dig that Crazy Santa Claus.”

Getting down and dirty, Jimmy Butler marries honky tonk and blues in a preview of Jerry Lee Lewis with “Trim Your Tree.” Cover the children’s ears.

The Crew Cuts were Canadian Catholic choir boys barely out of school when discovered and put on the radio. This year they get away with insipid harmonies like “Twinkletoes” (next year is ‘Sh-Boom’). But you can tell they have promise with “Dance, Mr Snowman, Dance.” Cue the screaming girls.

Now that we’re afraid of the home invader who judges your worth, let’s beg “Don’t Kill Me, Santa.” Or better yet, let’s have The Oh Wells do it for us.

Let their millennial pop (love that trombone!) carry you to a land of paranoid sugar plums dancing in your head. Perhaps they’re no Seafood Mama, but they’ve got a great club presence.

Slamming guitar and heavenly harmonies from Ebeneezer Pop and the Scrooges gives us retro British Invasion style jingle. It also suffers from pontifically illustrated videography. “Santa Claus was Dead” may haunt you with its musical skill, but i doubt it’ll trouble your immortal soul.