Nora Yockey retros a ’90s girl beat with a pop ’60s feel for her “Christmas Cookies.” A bit underdone but still edible.
Vaporous True doubles down on the girl group sound with electronica harmony by way of “Christmas and Cookies Song.” There’s a sadness here that feels foreign. (Maybe that’s just angst about whether or not they’ll get a pony.)
Minced meats shoved into a pie with fruits and exotic spices came from the Middle East to UK after the Crusades. Since that was the Jesus place, it became a holiday tradition. And because those were heathens, the meat got left out. Nowadays mince pie is just a hairsbreadth from fruitcake, although for this baked goodie the brandy is usually drunk in a glass and not sucked out of raisins. Oh, and there’s suet.
Amateurs thus borrow the symbolism of this Xmas dessert to tout their own tiny troubles. Dylan Evans sings “Mince Pies” moping about the depressing business of holidayism. It’s heartfelt, but not filling.
Byron Kuiter and Alexander Cartwright frolic through the ironic “Mince Pie Song” holla-ing about this pinnacle of pie-ty. Basement pop props, but please.
The kids’ traditional recitation throughout the British Isles would be “Five Mince Pies” here presented by some corporate thing called Children Love to Sing. Count it down and don’t forget to shout out your own name to fill in the blanks.
The least you can eat is Foot and Mav funning up Robin Thicke’s ‘Blurred Lines’ with “Mince Pies.” You don’t have to clean your plate, but is this not tasty?
Pop music is for kids wanting to be 6 years older than they are. By the time the subject matter of top 40 tunes is age appropriate, the consumer is so over that.
Thusly, these are largely trash.
Brenna Miles (from TV!) twangs up pop for her “Mistletoe.” You’re eight. in front of mirror, with too much make up on, practicing the nae nae–Go!
Playing the soft rock angle, Colin Healy sounds like a girl with “Meet Me Under the Mistletoe.” It’s what prepubescents pick.
While we’re upping with people, Harry Potter! That cheers everyone up, right?
Pennsylvanian besties formed a band (The Moaning Myrtles) out of high school finding they were just wild about Harry. Here’s their take on those imaginary critters infesting the mistletoe Luna claims she can see (and ruining moments between Harry and Cho). So, obvi: “Nargles in the Mistletoe.” Is it love yet?
The Kicks point out the “Santa Claus is Coming to the USA” every year. Contractually he’s bound to. But, c’mon–you know he’d rather bring merch here than any where else. We’re all about that (even got some church bells tolling on us).
Most of the handful of carols dedicated to WWI are British about their dedication and sacrifice (and that one about the soccer game on the front lines).
But we’re being national here. So we’ll leave the patriotic history in the hands of the Royal Guardsmen with their capitalistic sequel to ‘Snoopy vs. the Red Baron’ song “Snoopy’s Christmas.” That beagle’s kinda Yank.
Psy’s 2012 cultural phenomenon ‘Gangnam Style’ spawned as much laughter as dance. So here come the parodies. (I can only stand a few–there are dozens!)
Supposedly Psy does his own “Santa Style.” But i’d sashay past if i were you.
Just as pointless, but with the moves demonstrated NYC Santa and friends (the guys in Time Square who want 20 bucks for a photo) skit out “Oppa Santa Style.” Not much to it.
Imitator Tots list out Christmas symptoms to the beat with their “Christmas Time (Gangnam Style).” You can feel the dub step. It’s a 4 on the fun scale.
More clever, “Santa Style” by nyrbness delivers the sound, the wit, the feeling of dancedancdance.
I guess my favorite, is an AM radio gasser parody (Mark and Brian) with drunk pointlessness. “Christmas Style.” I love over attention to detail without an exit plan.
Pop rock infiltrated hipster and class struggling revolters as soon as it started, so the scared middle class could feel in fashion.
Check out the big band safety Benny-Lee & The Ken Tones supply with the “Rockin’ and Rollin’ Santa Claus.” Strictly for the schmo from Kokomo.
There’s always room for bubblegum. Gary Glitter swamps up disco, bebop, and country for his “Another Rock and Roll Christmas.” Is he singing or heaving?
Retro Aussies ‘Ol 55 sneak a touch of boogie woogie soul into over-electricalated over-drummed “Rockin’ Xmas.” Little lateral move needed for this dance, just bopping in place would be fine.
Mambo is one of those great dances named for the music, like disco. It may have been hatched down south in the ’30s, but no one cared until the big band concerts, movies, and radio shows of the ’40s made us Cuba-crazy.
Sadly most Merry mambo tunes simply torture old standards with a salsa beat. But this is such primal music it has generated a few original songs.
Billy May with the Orchestra capitalize on the fun with “Rudolph Mambo.” While not technically a song, the few interjections: ‘What the heck is the ma-ambo!’ jazz up this swinging ballroom routine.
“We Wanna See Santa Do the Mambo” by Big John Greer picks up its feet and moves surprisingly gracefully across the turntable. This is doo wop done mambo.
“Mambo Santa Mambo” has become an important December dance tune, The Enchanters deliver a perfectly passable paso doble version. The Bobs whoop and groan through every maneuver, but keep it light hearted and lively.
For full club flavor sample Cabaret Diosa keeping a bongo beat with “Merry Mambo Christmas.” Ay Santa!
El Timbo may tug at your heart strings, however, with his poor childhood Christmasses warmed only by the mambo. “Mambo Christmas” tells a story with funny voices, two languages, and an odd pop-electronic beat. Beat that.
If out of work, Santa could pick up some training at the local community college, i’m sure.
But the consequences could be dire–
Herein lies the lesson: Casey McKinnon warns of the resulting nihilism often resulting from liberal arts classes in her bouncy fun pop tune: “Santa is an Atheist.” Well, he didn’t start out as one but, see, what happened…
