Year-round Yuletide oddities
Let’s end our month of drugs and Christmas songs on an upper.
James Brown celebrates “Clean for Christmas” in his own inimitable style. Lookee here!
Tim Cavanaugh (remember him from Dr. Demento’s show?) recommends “Let’s Have a Drug-Free Christmas” this year. Shall we? Pinky swear? Okay then. See ya.
Doing drugs is a better participation than a spectator sport. Some holiday songs seem like more fun to sing than to hear.
I Was Once a Dinosaur play “Drugs for Christmas” like they expect applause. And laughter. Make it stop.
Heavy Smoke party hearty but beforehand let us know “All I Want for Christmas is Loads of Drugs.” So, like a pot luck?
Let’s review the menu of illegal pharmaceuticals with the help of funny man [BLUE ALERT for the love of GOD] Jelly D with “Fucked up for the Holidays.” A broken hearted man with a guitar and a drugged up calendar. Won’t see ya next year.
More enumeration from our Canadian friends So Big Hits. “High on Christmas” is just the joyous junk music you want to get that monkey on your back.
Since Colorado blazed the trail of legalization for bale, at least a couple of kookie noels position themselves mile high.
Smooch McGee introduces the topic with “It’s Christmastime in Boulder.” It’s a travel brochure from the city council, with lilting ukulele beckoning.
Breathe Carolina goes power pop with “Mile High Christmas” which might not technically be CO, and is only nuanced with pot. But it rocks.
Blackouts over the holidays?
The Martini Kings razzle dazzle their fun nickelodeon number “I Slept through Christmas Day” with so much charm that you’ve gotta forgive them. ‘Tis the season after all.
Turnabout is fair trade. Across the pond, some enjoy a cuppa with something more translucent brewing inside.
Joey Knock has a nasally epic “Christmas Cup of Tea.” He doesn’t know many chords, nor when to stop, but he is on about a good cause, innit? (When he’s not inventorying.)
Channeling an inner Alice, Dimie Cat plays antique nostalgic player piano with their distressed “Christmas Tea.” Put another nickel in!
Scandinavian foods kept men alive during hard winters despite the oversalting and lye. Christmas celebrations up north may involve chest pounding and double dog daring to eat the nastier bits of the smorgasbord.
Red Stangland and Terry R. Shaw go with the obvious parody “O Lutefisk.” Funny accents and mournful singing and self denigration abounds.
Stan Boreson (previously Yogi Yorgesson) and Doug Setterberg sing “Just a Little Lefse” so gleefully i excuse the omission of the holidays for this dull flatbread.
The Oslo Glee Club sums up our fear of the pungent foodstuffs with “Don’t Cook Santa Lutefisk.” It’s more Sing Along with Mitch than Lawrence Welk, so sway with them.
Xmas is a day x-ed off your calendar. B’fast, lunch, dinner may be mere suggestions.
In fact, no lunch guaranteed. Bah and the Humbugs dramatize this for the original Christmassers in “No Free Lunch.” This pop rock lesson mumbles, tumbles, and humbles. Get your perspectives straight, ya spoiled babies!
Did someone say Christmas sandwich? No? How about a Xmas taco?!
Tyler Conroy and his comical AcaTaco Bell car-load of friends serenades drive-thrus with his home-grown hits like the “Original Taco Bell Christmas Song” with such youthful self-amusement you may become impatient with his benign, cheerful prankishness. Or you could laugh along.
David P. Ford works hard at “Christmas Taco” as if it were a gift for a little girl. (It was.) The accented singing is a bit cringe-inducing, but it hits all the song basics.
Hot Dad has more fun with “A Taco Bell Christmas” while producing an actual song. Granted it’s more commercial than celebration of the holiday, but it’s catchy as any jingle. (The following year he added electronica for his cool ranch re-mex. Yeah, I like that one.)
Man waiting for Xmas cannot live on sweets alone. Songs about the other food groups have peppered the media for years. So lets follow the bountiful ball through these comestible carols:
Rosie O’Donnell had her fifteen minutes of talkshow host fame before she became a professional ‘pig.’ She even dropped an album of holiday duets with her willing guests. Here she salivates with Gloria Estefan (and admits to pigging out) with “I’m Gonna Eat for Christmas.” Psst–It’s okay to make fun of your own weight to the world in a pop song, it’s (theoretically) humorous!
[ALL I WANT FOR CHRISTMAS IS YOU PARODY ALERT! Doug the Pug internet sensation leads the lackluster shopping spree to “All I Want for Christmas is Food.”]
More silly parody from Pete LaMaster singing dad jokes to ‘Beginning to Look’ (with ample Star Wars references) a la “Holiday Eating.” He’s polite and discrete, so okay.
Be careful with your holiday diet: what sounds like more Plank Road Publishing bemoans “Don’t Eat a Poinsettia” for Christmas. Holiday romper rooms everywhere sing this one (we would hope WITHOUT a Mexican accent on the chorus).
Not everyone eats American for the holidays. Trinidad riddim mon Jahzy lets it all hang out with “Eat Muh Belly Full” without specifying too much exotic sauce (there’s wafer). Get up now!
Sunny Cowgirls recount an Australian smorgasbord (edible and in-) with their own wacky child-style pop song “Ate Too Much at Christmas.” Don’t spew!