My Pronouns are Saint and Nick

Pinkfong won’t leave us alone with their kidsong. “S-A-N-T-A” is a play on the ‘B-I-N-G-O’ dog song. MY. NAME. IS. Great booming declarations.

Choppy English from illy & HOPI & 채이 wonders about being Santa… But then: Who am I; My name is Santa, continues “X-Mas Massacre.” I could use some help with this pop number.

Surf’s “A Rogue Santa” is spying hard on you, and BLUE ALERT doesn’t like what he sees. Video game rap.

Welcome To The North Pole” has Michael Scott Dublin (feat. Robert O’Connor) voicing old man Kringle as some old boomer with little ‘ris (You should see the penguins run!). It’s a bit pop, a bit cowboy. Strange.

The Beard in the Mirror

After a minute and a half of background noises, Song Boys features an interrogating figure as “I’m Santa.” Not a song so much as a bad dream.

Hex 1134 toss us a trap Claus, rapping “Like I’m Santa.” You can call me Shatter Claus.

One of the coolest Santas still wants to soul/blues bitch how “It Ain’t Easy.” Shon Sanders (from the Idaho Ho Ho album) sells the sass.

Christmasboyz almost raps the folk sad tale related to them: “I’m Santa.” BLUE ALERT–not many good things go with the bag.

Mike Gibson’s “I’m Your Santa Claus” persona is a bit disappointed in you. Better not yell at me, he warns. Pouting seems okay, howevs. Rockin’ pop.

Self Referential Saint

Worth another listen: Syrpyntyne’s Elton John parody “Reindeer Man” sadly portrays our hero heroically.

The Santa Band” features The Music Santa as kidsonged by Bebefinn & Pinkfong. Hmm.

Maniac Clown gets down to funk with The Man in “Reindeer.” What he lacks in goony talent he makes up with smarm.

FarmerHank goes full BLUE ALERT with “Saint Prick.” Racist, misogynistic, foul… get a PR mouthpiece and shut the rap up, man.

Holiday Roger’s “Bad Boy of Christmas” reveals statements made in haste. Electro-pop that shines a light on the dark underbelly of Santa.

I’m Santa-cus. No, I’m Santa-cus.

Vedo the Singer wants to be a friend. But his breathy love pop “Tonight I’m Santa Clause” is a bit pushy. He’s just playing.

Le chat au café’s “I Think I’m Santa” (Alex Bergmans​/​Matt Chill G cover) comes off as a gentle rap (despite a BLUE ALERT). A bit mindless in its repetitiveness.

Royce Davies acknowledges an actual S.C., but wants to help out when he folk plans “I’m Being Santa This Year.”

Bobby Vinton recounts that easy listening pop time when that orphan asked “Dearest Santa” for parents. Santa tells the story. Keep it together!

The Not Fur Longs slide pop notes into one another for the dreamy “Yo Yo Yo (It’s Good to be the Santa).” Ding a ling ding a ling.

Behind the Beard

More posers! Keith Urban is gonna make everything all right ‘cuz “I’ll be Your Santa Tonight.” Believe in his jumpy country pop.

Honky tonk come ons from Willie Mack and Jason McCoy who confuse Mr. Gifts with some pimp daddy when they belt out “I Wanna be Your Santa Claus.” It’s s’posed to be about the GIVing, guys.

Wha-oh, here comes Bill Cosby (yeah) who wants to be your Santa Claus in “Merry Christmas Mama.” Lisping R+B embarrassment.

Hey, crazy world–“I Wanna Be Your Santa“! The Krayolas retro the pop with some mighty fine rock guitar licks.

SC POV

Worth another listen: Here Come the Mummies dance club up some blues with the danceable “Secret Santa.” Herein begins the gray area of WHO is Santa.

He sings, she sings in Gary Fjellgaard’s “Secret Santa.” Aw shucks folk country pop flirts me to you like mistletoe on fire.

Vista Blue retro rocks their “Secret Santa” like it ‘s a party. I can’t believe that I got you!

Retro sockhop from The Barbary Coasters blows hearts your way as your “Secret Santa.” Just between us.

Spier of Children

What could be worse for a generous soul than to be labeled elitist? Bad Folk try a carnival approach to indie with “Christ, It’s Cold.” That’s not just a reading on weather, but on humanity. BLUE ALERT

How Does Santa Know?” lounge pops Lauren Mayer about who gets a visit and who has a menorah. Dim the house and cue the spotlight.

Yid Kids point out how devout they are (with sitar!), yet “Santa Doesn’t Come to Little Jewish Children’s Houses.” Guess they’ll have to make do with eight days of presents.

Worth repeating: Sarah Silverman demands reciprocity in “Give the Jew Girl Toys.” Wacky country show tune that asks WWJD.

Some Xians still don’t get goodies. “Will Santy Come to Shanty Town?” asks Eddy Arnold with easy listening (so-called) country. Praying doesn’t seem to help!

Toby Keith jerks the tears with quieter ‘country’ in the homeless child’s plea “Santa, I’m Right Here.”

Young And Sexy returns us to an indie mood via “Santa Claus Likes Rich Kids Better.” Yes, Karen, there IS a Santa Claus.

The Attery Squash (feat Rev. Ivan Stang as Santa) try Britpop hoppiness as “Santa’s Laughter Mocks The Poor.” [Song title ‘appropriated’ from Mystery Science Theater 3000.] Holy moly.

Pedo in Fur

Is Santa more than a man? Or less? Sonny Boy Williamson II’s “Santa Claus” is into your lady’s dresser drawers. What gives? Blues? Pinks? Polka dots?

Frenetic punk from Alice vs. Everything alleges “Santa is Coming…” from sodomy and so jailed. Something’s terribly wrong.

Santa’s a Dirty Old Man” concludes Lil Poverty Angels about his unstable mall behavior. Word jazz that does not include consent.

JMaq notices something disturbing while peeking Xmas Eve, but he doesn’t know “Why is Santa Wearing a Thong?” Stylized electronic rap with a twisty twist.

Crux dabbles in paedophilia with “A Touch of Christmas.” This showtune pop went there.

Monkish knows better when “Santa’s on the Register.” The sex offender list informs their garagey rock.

Rudy Casoni warns some Santas ain’t super in his lounge act “Beware, Beware.” Better take notes.

Matt Roach has a personal up close experience in the folk-rock “Santa Touched My Candy Cane.” This is not the worst report we’ve hear, but the trauma’s still there.

What could be worse? The Christmas Cards sweetly balladeer the pop “Santa’s Got a Secret.” What is said secret? Listen carefully. You’ll never be the same afterward.

Stable Genius

Some of us (sometimes) have no use for Santa. DuncanG used to post clever pop parodies in a Christmas bent. But all trace of his stuff is gone now. Reminisce with me for his Adele parody “Someone Like Santa.” Take him, leave him.

Rodd & Judy (in an American Song Poem) wrestle easy listening into the twee tale of children who want nothing from Old Man Christmas except for “Santa Fix My Toys for Christmas.”

Marc Copage and Saxon-Freed follow this thread with “Santa, Please Repair My Toys for Christmas.” This nauseous kidsong rats out Dad as the toybreaker.

Peter Thomas & Joseph interrogate the bleak night sky with the driving folk “Merry Christmas, Santa Claus.” They want Mr. Gifts to bequeath all their gifts to other needier ones. Kids today!

Red State Update distinguishes between S.C and J.C. in the menacingly upbeat “Forget Santa Claus.” Pop music with a message.

Fiction Family pitches a hissy with the bluegrass pop of “I Don’t Need No Santa Claus.” Seems his baby is enough. Bearded guys can wait outside.

Cold Fat Bastard

Worth repeating: The Hot Rods declare “Santa’s Too Drunk to Drive.” It’s road ragin’ rockabilly that won’t slow.

Cabana Man shaggies the dog with a spoken word jive backed story that ends with “Santa Need a Cab.” It’s in the vernacular.

Applying metal, Halbstarke Jungs barks out “Drunken Santa Is Coming To Town.” (Then, Deutsche!) Watch the skies!

Gary Craig, in the style of Bing Crosby, croons an ode to Barney in The Simpsons pilot: “Drunken Santa’s Coming to Town.” It’s a fun parody.

A bit of the ol’ Dixieland from Beefus in the pathetic “Party with Santa.” ‘Tain’t pretty.

Actual funk from Jerry T. Band describes a “Naughty Santa.” There’s a barside altercation involving the Missus.

Mikey Geiger’s “Drunk Santa” is an electronic exploration with expletives laced in. Like that night you can’t quite remember.

Singing from Drunk Santa announces with pop electronica “My Balls (Are Hangin’ in the Tree).” Embarassing, but short.