Year-round Yuletide oddities
Poor ol’ Mrs. Santa, she’s left all alone for a day no one should be lonely. Can’t she have, like, a friend to carry her through the isolation–?
Placeholder Confidential offers that “Mrs. Claus, Oh My!” could use a friend. Cute pop garage in lieu of flowers.
What’s a spurned woman to do? Mrs. Claus doesn’t get her jollies on the night that counts and that itch won’t go away.
“Mrs. Claus is Steppin’ Out” is that sultry country dance number you might expect given the subject. Tina Mitchell Wilkins goes whole hog with the woo-hoos.
More suggestive country, now with more sugary sweetness, from Jane Sheldon. “One for Mrs. Claus” is pretty pop about the modern-day lady who goes out drinking while her husband is working. You go Teri Hatcher, i mean girl.
Santa’s home most of the year, but the pity brush carves a wide swath over his lovelorn lassie. Is it so sad that she’s home alone once in a while? You be the judge.
Singing the blues with folk tenderness Hannah and Maggie sympathizes with “Mrs. Claus.” The offer of lesbianism might be going too far.
Darlene Como warbles some drug-addled vision of the earthbound spouse wondering about the rocket powered bread winner in “Thank You, Mrs. Santa Claus.” What the alt?
Brotherly Love doowops the bejeepers out of “Mrs. Claus.” Their soulful concern borders on the creepy, but it’s still pretty sad.
Bang the drum slowly. The Silver Bells super slow drawls out the folk rock “Letter from Mrs. Claus” begging the big guy to please come home. Whoa.
“Are You Lonely Tonight, Mrs. Claus?” tremulously inquires Dan Wilson with pop tenderness. Here we learn why not being with your favorite person on this of all nights is so heart breaking.
Most of us know Mrs. Santa Claus from her list o’ chores. Certainly when Nat King Cole sang “Mrs. Santa Claus” back in 1953, the definition of the homemaker was the housework done.
We should know better over the decades, but just about the time of the Millennium Hal Willis also presents the mindless domesticity of “Mrs. Santa Claus,” a pop country salute to the jolly house-slave.
Overlong and undertalented, Bob ‘The Music Doctor’ Blake’s “Mrs. Santa Claus” offers the least appreciation for all she does.
Talented but old, The Olympics meld an unfortunate elctro-beat into their soul touting how “Without Mrs. Santa Claus” the shopping might not get done.
Let’s leave it at the twinkly punk cover of NKC’s “Mrs. Santa Claus” from A Proper Kiss. The sassy dirge-like pronouncement of the lyrics adds the irony i was looking for. Thank you.
Mrs. Claus was always presumed to be: as far back as the 1850s St. Nicholas was like the US President and bachelorhood was not fitting nor proper. Reverse engineering supplied her with duties (feed the elves, compile the list, brush down the reindeer) and a personality–which varied with the decades. Doting, persnickety, peevish, demanding, sexy suited the contemporary matriarch of the time.
Did she have a name?! By the mid-XX Century funny storytellers were willing to brand her with some moniker. I mean, come on, agreeing to a name would show the dame respect, like with Kris. (Saints Row IV from Volition mentions Mary–yikes! is JC their kid?!) (I guess Peanuts cartoons also use Mary, but then Samantha.) (Movies make use of the names Anya, Margaret, and Carol–ha! good one.)
Rankin and Bass ‘animagic’ TV specials from the ’60s call her Jessica. We’ve tried the “Wedding Day” song (S.D. Kluger) from their 1970 Santa Claus is Comin’ to Town. But check out her I’m-falling-in-love moment of pop song psychedelia “My World is Beginning Today,” sung by Robie Lester.
We have some space here for the non-observances.
Although we have already included way too many songs for Black Friday (see 11/27/2015 post), i do recognize that riotous parade of stomp-yer-gramma as an actual holiday, separate but equal to Xmas. Let us then betake the shadowy rebellion ‘gainst that movement: Buy Nothing Day. From a goody-twoshoes blip out of Canada many years ago, this protest has grown to many (1st world, northernmost) nations. My favourite factoid was how no commercial television enterprise (save CNN) would allow advertisements for this lack-of-movement back in ’00.
Providing the global clout, French club music from Arseniq33 barks out your basic “Buy Nothing Song” for all your rage needs.
Nine Black Alps ups the garage quotient with value-added metal in their “Buy Nothing.” Caution: brands are named.
Chumbawamba merrily pokes at affluenza with their folky “Buy Nothing Day.” Four out of five anthems wish they had this much wit.
“Buy Nothing Day” from The Go! Team (feat. Bethany from Best Coast and The Girls At Dawn) is the usual upbeat yet scratchy Brit pop what sounds like it wuz done onna cheap. But it’s all for a good cause: anti-capitalism. (Which’s not an actual thing.)
Seems like the world will end with all that darkness around Christmastime. Let’s party and romance and break some social mores. It’s our last chance before the sun sees us!
More a song about the magic of astronomy, Finley and Pagdon’s “Solstice Song” folks out a woman’s yearning. I sure like it, but i’m a sloppy romantic.
Flipping trad celebrations over, Private Eye Music wants no longer to wait for you with his “Winter Solstice Song.” Love song!
Just one kiss is all Steve Albers Southpaw asks in the drawling “Winter Solstice” song. Creepy.
I Love the sneaky way Pennyless interrupts a boring pagan chant with a lithe folk song about a stolen kiss at the “Winter Solstice Party.” Missed connection!
Pauline LeBel has some Hallelujah for her churchy hymnal “Song for the Winter Solstice.” Bipartisan!
Gary Storm offers a kidsong folk insistence for the party with “[Winter] Solstice Song.” Do your job, and learn, and stuff.
Skyforger seems to have recruited Popeye to growl out the metal hale “Night of the Winter Solstice.” Big party, but evil spirits by invitation only.
Once the fiddle catches fire, the solemn “Solstice Evergreen” raises the roof on our modern celebration of medieval past. Spiral Dance jigs up some fine alt-Celtic.
Jethro Tull’s “Ring out Solstice Bells” is such an all out party tune, imma dance ’til the New Year. It’s a heller.
Not that we’re counting, but Midwinter marks the longest night of the year. Some songs can’t shut up about it. Be safe, be loved, be mine. These are the romantic pagan pleas.
Also lengthy, Threefold’s prog-folk “Celtic Solstice” is mostly electronic twaddle, but the ethereal vocals just out of range make it a holiday must listen.
S J Tucker has a quiet folk bit o’ worry with “Solstice Night.” Peace to you, you know who you are.
The hammered dulcimer marches us to hell with Phil Passen’s gloomy “Winter Solstice.” No way (dance dance) out.
Jason Webley lightens the room with “Longest Night” a pub singalong wrought from ‘Silent Night.’ He leans into it.
Swaying and gesticulating, the Harp Twins bang out their snow dance “Nordic Solstice,” a piercing folk meditation. Not really sure what it’s about….
Mary Chapin Carpenter rolls out the familiar pop folk of her career. Not saying she’s strumming out “The Longest Night of the Year” with her eyes closed, but she could (would sound the same). Still soothingly powerful.
Laugh tracks help people with questionable senses of humor to figure out what’s funny. Sadly, they try to replicate what they saw others delight in to ride that lightning. Here are the near misses.
Tina Jennings Shelton croaks out “Festivus” as some kind of funeral oration. The easy listening symphony is phony.
Tomasz Golka gets above the range of human hearing with “Festivus, Festivus.” Like every other entry hear, she claims this is the only carol about her fave-o holiday. Waltz music. That’s the funniest part.
Old time radio comedy from David DeBoy with “One More Festivus.” This is sketch singing with local references. Had to be there.
More funny would be the great Joel Kopischke doing Canada’s national anthem with “O Festivus.” Stand! Or smirk, or something.
Medieval syncopation works here. Tea with Warriors pronounce “Let Us Have a Festivus” with all the proper pomp.
I had fun with Eddie Latiolais’s “Festivus” song with its gnashing guitar and tongue twisting. Yeah, it’s pop, just in just the right ways.
When rage enters the mainstream and all the kids bop to the beat of the racing heart, we have lost. But yet we do party on.
Channeling irked Dylan Don Owens bangs out his folk “Festivus Carol” like he just don’t care. That’s the Festivus spirit!
Alt play from Tom Goss and Amber Ojeda beats on “Festivus.” Melodic wrath. Get that mic farther from the drums. (If you don’t get this, there’s a dramatic reading from the original Seinfeld ep.)
Albert & The Sleigh Riders (feat. Andy Shernoff) ’80s chant rock out “Festivus” with heart. Pop plus (incl. killer reverb guitar solo).