Year-round Yuletide oddities
On the other ballot, some find cheer in singing the praise of The War on Christmas for all to hear. It sounds funny when you say the reasons out loud.
Daryl Cherney & the Patriot Act get palsied folk-right with “We’re Fighting the War on Christmas.” Can ya spit tabacky with your tongue in your cheek?
Taylor Ferrera wants to support Kirk Cameron’s 2104 movie ‘Saving Christmas’ with her kicky pop tutorial “Pagans Stole Christmas from Christians.” Take a set, there’s a lot to cover.
While exhausting the topic of ‘War on Christmas,’ do not excuse the coincidence of military incursions in late December. Whose taking sides now?
“War on Christmas Day” by Scott Coulter, Tim Di Pasqua, and Tom Anderson is a country weepie about who might not be coming home. In our woke days, it could be either one of them.
Hot Dad gets with the humorous when he suggests arming heavily for the “War on Christmas.” Slow synth pop by way of the ’80s.
What are Americans really scared of? Each other? Oh, for the days of us v. them that involved other countries (not just dissimilar looking Americans).
Rathergood has those godless Reds co-opting OUR holiday with their sprightly growling “Communist Christmas.” I want a chocolate Trotsky! Erm, i mean, what about the Son of God!?
Shana Lynette, fresh from Pittsburgh, Kansas, made a small splash in our Cold War with her 1983 novelty swinger “Mr. Russian, Please Don’t shoot Down Santa’s Sleigh.” That’ll show ’em.
Flinging his own words back in the speaker’s face is an American sport. Does anyone learn from this lesson? Or does it only lessen the weight of the argument made (stop copying me! no, i mean it, stop it!). You decide.
When Reindeers Collide Inc (from Something Awful) multi-media us a mess with their ironic “War on Christmas and Baby Jesus,” sampling and shouting before a moribund recorder tracing out Auld Lang Syne. Clearly this is against–but against what?
Schmoyoho has some songify fun with hot topics. “Donald Trump’s Christmas Carol” just rollicks along on a pop melody without seeming to realize the life-and-death issue at hand.
The best way to take offense is to rant and rave with tongue in cheek. Your mother stinks of elderberry (just kidding)! Or to be gentle while pointing out how much that other guy is foaming at the mouth.
Carrie Rinderer and the American Christian Life United (ACLU) choir won’t let you tell them what to say, but will tell you to boycott all half-assed associates who won’t “Say Merry Christmas.” Lively pop gospel to smooth out the intolerance. (What would JC shop at?)
Roger Weber is gonna say what he wants to say. Which is what you ought not to do. “Say Merry Christmas” is soft pop reminiscent of the ’70s. Oo, ee, baby.
Mrs. Claus looks so lonely that one special night. Could just give her a kiss.
“A Kiss from Mrs. Claus” would be the best present. Alt from Hoggle’s Jewelry (Arbor Christmas: Vol. 1).
Lips’ll be locking with the jazzy pop stylings of Baggio with their “Mrs. Claus.” You got them singing. Your fault.
WSLY (feat. Hazen) has been a good boy and offers a sleigh ride for her–and let’s see where it takes us. A kiss? You don’t say! Breathy garage pop for “Hey Mrs. Claus.”
Poor ol’ Mrs. Santa, she’s left all alone for a day no one should be lonely. Can’t she have, like, a friend to carry her through the isolation–?
Placeholder Confidential offers that “Mrs. Claus, Oh My!” could use a friend. Cute pop garage in lieu of flowers.
What’s a spurned woman to do? Mrs. Claus doesn’t get her jollies on the night that counts and that itch won’t go away.
“Mrs. Claus is Steppin’ Out” is that sultry country dance number you might expect given the subject. Tina Mitchell Wilkins goes whole hog with the woo-hoos.
More suggestive country, now with more sugary sweetness, from Jane Sheldon. “One for Mrs. Claus” is pretty pop about the modern-day lady who goes out drinking while her husband is working. You go Teri Hatcher, i mean girl.
Santa’s home most of the year, but the pity brush carves a wide swath over his lovelorn lassie. Is it so sad that she’s home alone once in a while? You be the judge.
Singing the blues with folk tenderness Hannah and Maggie sympathizes with “Mrs. Claus.” The offer of lesbianism might be going too far.
Darlene Como warbles some drug-addled vision of the earthbound spouse wondering about the rocket powered bread winner in “Thank You, Mrs. Santa Claus.” What the alt?
Brotherly Love doowops the bejeepers out of “Mrs. Claus.” Their soulful concern borders on the creepy, but it’s still pretty sad.
Bang the drum slowly. The Silver Bells super slow drawls out the folk rock “Letter from Mrs. Claus” begging the big guy to please come home. Whoa.
“Are You Lonely Tonight, Mrs. Claus?” tremulously inquires Dan Wilson with pop tenderness. Here we learn why not being with your favorite person on this of all nights is so heart breaking.
Most of us know Mrs. Santa Claus from her list o’ chores. Certainly when Nat King Cole sang “Mrs. Santa Claus” back in 1953, the definition of the homemaker was the housework done.
We should know better over the decades, but just about the time of the Millennium Hal Willis also presents the mindless domesticity of “Mrs. Santa Claus,” a pop country salute to the jolly house-slave.
Overlong and undertalented, Bob ‘The Music Doctor’ Blake’s “Mrs. Santa Claus” offers the least appreciation for all she does.
Talented but old, The Olympics meld an unfortunate elctro-beat into their soul touting how “Without Mrs. Santa Claus” the shopping might not get done.
Let’s leave it at the twinkly punk cover of NKC’s “Mrs. Santa Claus” from A Proper Kiss. The sassy dirge-like pronouncement of the lyrics adds the irony i was looking for. Thank you.