Year-round Yuletide oddities
Let’s leave this topic confused and perplexed. Christmas is Christmas, not some birthday. That’s different!
Jimmy Eat World rock meekly with “If You Were Born Today” a recrimination of how we’ve messed up. But in the sweetest harmony.
Kids’ country joke up the Christmas Story in Animal Band’s “Birthday Party on Manger Street.” Make animal noises all together now!
Notsoape gets Goony and Awful with “happybirthday,” a slight offering or awkward praise. Huh?
In praising the All-in-One we need some kind of theme, so paste a date to it and raise the streamers for the birth of God, the Sequel.
Setting the party mood, Mojo Nixon celebrates (incl. warm up) (and name-calling) “Happy Birthday” with his own earthy smarm.
Bah & The Humbugs gets more kid friendly with “Birthday Boy,” an offkey meandering ragtime/pop explosion of joy. Blow out the camels!
Since this is such a half-baked idea (others born on Xmas), we’ll spin out a week on Mr. Christ’s own observance. Many make hay with the Happy Birthday wishes for the Messiah. It’s the humorous concept of the banal contrasted against the divine. Har-de-har, God’s got armpits… like that.
We’ve already tasted Bob Rivers’s “Jesus’ Birthday.” As a postscript to “Wonderful Christmastime” Barenaked Ladies hail the King of Ks. With comical timing Wendell Ferguson bemoans “Jesus Christ It’s Your Birthday Again.”
New to the blog: Do You Heat What I hear (feat. Joseph Cimino) sings “Jesus It’s Your Birthday” with electronic pop fervor. Or folk experimental temper. Or just doowop weirdness. Check it.
The Happy Birthday songs channel on Youtube seems to make an entry once a year, including the “Christmas Birthday Song” from the inception of the channel a couple years back. This pop insta-party seems longer than at it is at half a minute.
‘It’s better than never being born at all,’ admits Ovis, retro-pop Australians in “It Sucks to be Born Around Christmas.” Their peppiness is infectious, more so than their web-found roster of celebrities with this problem. John Legend and Zappa and Bogart and MTM and on and on just becomes one more list.
Londoneers of the ’90s fought the old punk scene with mindless dance pop. Sarah Cracknell, Bob Stanley, and Pete Wiggs got together as Saint Etienne yet featured roatating lead singers like some kind of pop up rave scene. “I was Born on Christmas Day” from ’93 features Tim Burgess (frontman for alt-rockers The Charlatans). And you CAN dance to it. You must.
The Tuscon soul jazz collective The Regulars Band bebop the pop for “Happy Birthday, Merry Christmas.” This seems to just mash up the two observances into a party, and that’s okay, too. What’s not okay is the endless skit that bookends their music video (altho the performance hijinx is fun violence).
The long arm of johnny law is still reaching in late December. So don’t think you’ll be getting away scott free, you dick.
Taking the high horse, The Christmas Pranksters rewind us to 2009 with a ridiculous Christmas shopper thinking he can buy what he wants (Tickle Me Elmo) when no one else can. “Arrest That Ragin’ Gentleman” is caroldy that’s sing-song sweet, but past its sell-by date.
The usual suspects includes that old breakin’ and enterin’ bagman. Bob Gronowski’s “Santa Claus Got Busted” is a swingin jazz tribute to a misunderstanding of tears and cheer. (Quitcher drinkin’, Santa!)
“Santa Got Busted by the Border Patrol” has its country pop fun with the transport system, but don’t worry, kids, Kevin Fowler (feat. Ray Benson)’ll work it all out!
Mr. Cork plays with the consequences of when “Santa Claus Got Busted!” This hand-clappin’ electric piano rap blues gets a bit graphic, boys and others. Be careful.
Even more tragic, when “Santa Got Arrested” Arrogant Worms run the whole procedural through a sad pop song of The End of Christmas As We Know It. Oh No!
Not a recommended way to avoid the family during the holidays, but an orange alert certainly will destroy the joy of your base of Xmas operations.
Jeff Dunham, duh, has a terrorist comedy song from Achmed the dead terrorist, “Jingle Bombs.” It caters to the fearful.
Fortress of Attitude dances the pop out of “Bomb Threat Christmas.” What’s the last package left under the tree?? Oh no!
Apart from some footage of bank jobbers in Santa-guise, the idea of robbing a bank around Christmas is ludicrous. Banks aren’t even open at Xmas!
Overkill has a poppy naughty bit of B&E with their “Xmas Song.” There may be masks and guns and crews so let’s include this lovely novelty here. (The song ends halfway through with a gasp of a BLUE ALERT then reprises. ‘Sworth it.)
So Souveniir’s “Christmas Bank Heist,” while emo alt-fun, may not involve any actual crimes… maybe arson. But it may be the fever dream of another disaffected loser. Still, weee.