Polysomnography: Blanket Drill BLUE ALERT

It’s Finally Christmas Time” by El Domiii is practicing English, but with all the customs in place. Much is made of Santa getting to watch–but not you! Go to bed! Lounge pop.

The Wiggles recommend going to bed and making a wish when “Here Come the Reindeer.” Rock and roll -ish, but what’s the deal with checking out Santa’s belt buckle??

BLUE ALERT! “Go the Fuck to Sleep (Christmas Is Coming)” is Wolf Blitzer (the band)’s attempt to cash in on Adam Mansbach’s runaway bestseller. But the gentle lullaby pop doesn’t threaten just with Santa, but also with Jesus coming to your house. Saw those logs and no one will go to hell.

Polysomnography: Bedtime

What time is it, kids?! Time for lying inert and unconscious, Buffalo Bob!

Charley Pride borrows some zydeco to jazz up the country in “Santa and the Kids.” If Santa sees you peeking, he’ll just go away! Git them long johns ta bed!

Stevie Wonder’s “Bedtime for Toys” addresses tin soldiers, cotton dollies, even a Mickey Mouse. The inimitable warbler souls out about getting down, getting fast asleep. Listen up, children.

The Dan Collins Band slurringly checks the clock for “Bedtime on Christmas Eve,” a soft pop lullaby of growing impatience.

Polysomnography: Nightly Routine

Is going to bed (Xmas Eve) just one more chore?

Joel of The Mik Maks childsongs his list preparing for night-night, but can’t seem to withstand the Zzzs “Before for Santa Comes.” Narcolepsy dis!

Candles, tree, food… it’s all gotta be done–before bedtime! Last minute carrib-rock from The Real Thing in the form of “Christmas Time.”

The groovy Candy Strypers wash out on all the chores when they “Forgot the Christmas Tree.” But they do remember to go to bed. Fab retro pop from 2023.

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Laura Ridgeway’s “Christmas Lullaby” is not about her baby but about The Baby. Unimaginative soft pop tells The Story. You know this one.

Brad Tassell (feat. Steve Goodie) make complete sense with a rostrum of reasons why you should “Sleep Til Christmas Morning.” Great kidsong rock.

The “Midnight Christmas Lullaby” figures all the children are asleep. Which gives The Predicates the opportunity to sound off with New Age pop about how good life is now. Ahhh.

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Bert Nievera keeps up with the chiming in this big-eyed “A Christmas Lullaby.” I expect a boop on the nose by the end of this jazz-lite condescension.

Alex ‘Elvis Claus’ Smith uses a bossa nova beat to belabor this “Christmas Lullaby.” Now if i hadn’t told you it was an Elvis impersonation you wouldn’t have gotten that, would you, little baby?

Starlet Knight impels powerful singing into a quiet performance in “Sing Me to Sleep.” Just so.

Now try Jamie Aaron Kelly’s “Christmas Lullaby” and tell me the difference to that last number. Taking care of Christmas.

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Childish lisping may be adorable, but how many repeat listenings will you take of John G. Elliott/Michaella Elliott’s “Christmas Lullaby“? Massive string section, itty bitty voice.

More professionally, The Marty Gold Children’s Chorus follow the bouncing ballad with “Lullaby for Christmas Eve.” I can understand most of this.

Smokey Robinson & The Miracles pipe up with falsetto for their “Christmas Lullaby.” Promises of a bike and something Mommy will like compel compliance with the request: Go to sleep. No peeking!

Britpop (OZZIEpop?) from Fezziwhig pumps up the style for this “Christmas Lullaby.” Not simply a matter of slumber here, folks.

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Karie Hillary is trying out a deep voice for her “Christmas Lullaby.” Then the flute reminds us how music should be. Off pop.

Lynne & Mike put the gentle in their “Christmas Lullaby.” Wistful and sweet slow pop.

Robbie Williams has a sly sense of humor with his symphonic “Coco’s Christmas Lullaby.” Great dad stuff.

The Hipwaders get sentimental in their “Good Night” song. Retro pop makes it palatable. And it’s for anyone you love, including us old people who have trouble with that anyways.

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Kris and the Kringles return us to the thrilling days of kidsong: a metronome and a pretty female vocal. “Christmas Lullaby” counts us down with slow pop.

Rejojice programs Christ into their symphonic slow pop “Christmas Lullaby.” Close your eyes, He is King. You know the drill.

Rocking helps that One who’s in “A Cradle in Bethlehem.” Soft pop from The Lower Lights is nearly hypnotizing.

Weirding me out, however, are The Wizards of Winter skipping the beat and asking us to Fly Away in the strange Carrib recording “Christmas Lullaby.” Is it just me or should children not fly away on Xmas Eve?

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These are starting to sound the same…

David Alley’s brass backup has his “Christmas Lullaby” all brazen and tinkly and cool. But this pop jazz fusion comes on strong for a lullaby.

Amber Cavanaugh blends goth with pop for a more novel “Christmas Lullaby.” A marching syncopation with electronic prodding. Wild stuff.

Loorah Loorah Loorah haunts many of these pieces, including Greg Doolan’s short/sweet “Christmas Lullaby.” Makes a point, though.

So let’s give him an encore (with Susan McRae and Ross Bogaart) serenading our droopy eyes with the somewhat country “Mary and Josep’s Lullaby.” It’s like they are reaching across the millenia to tell you their story.

Ten de Vils describes an actual child (chocolate in his fist) he wants to talk down with a lite pop “Christmas Lullaby.” This one does NOT want to sleep. Ding dang dong.

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Let’s kick this sleepy time singing up a notch!

You want rap?! ZINZILÈ’s “Christmas Lullaby” provides! There’s sipping and sinking and crying, however. Watch out.

C.J. Ramone belts out the ’80s rocker “Christmas Lullaby” as a tribute to getting home on time to his baby.

The Langer’s Ball drive hard into “A Christmas Lullaby” (with just a hint of Celtic flute) to hush your mouths. Toorah loorah rock.

Nogu Svelo! sings “Christmas Lullaby” (Ногу Свело! – “Рождественская колыбельная”) as a Russian horrorshow of laughter and hiding from Santa. Industrial pop, translated into English for your convenience.