Christmas Countdown: 1,000,000,000

Willivision and Mindy Lloyd sing the blues for the “Billionaire Christmas.” How do they do it (the billionaires)?

The Help reveal “All I Want for Christmas is a Billion Dollar No-Bid Contract.” But after this garage rock, the blues.

One Billion Years of Christmas” from Myles Anderson takes us on a study of–wait for it–Scientology. This is some reference to the billion-year contract signed at certain levels of attainment. So, it’s not just Xmas, it’s the big picture. Tootling show tune.

Felice Avian: substitution

The magic of flying reindeer is institutionalized to the point that the power of it drives many a simile/metaphor. We don’t have to be celebrating gift delivery to be talking about those high hoofers.

Hadley Park (happily) returns to tell us of the hope of reuniting lost loves with “If Reindeer Can Fly.” Twangy banjo always adds value to a broken-hearts song. But not really about the four-legged.

Cold December Flies Away” is a centuries old Catalonian carol about goodbye to Winter (birth of JC?) and hello to Spring (killing of JC?). It’s a celebration from a New Lutheran minister. Whoosh.

Let’s get even more off topic with the inspiring “Fly,” an aerobic country racing backtrack for a young person with skates and some frozen water. John McCutcheon flies.

The anticipation of presents causes children (in their dreams?) to be “Somewhere Hovering Over Indiana” according to A Christmas Story, The Musical. Naw, i guess it’s Santa’s sack that’s doing the aerial act. Andy Walken leads the kidcast from some TV presentation.

Felice Again: transformation

Let’s cut out the middle deer and just become Santa’s magical sleigh pullers!

Some kidsong perpetrators are so deadly serious I worry what lasting psychological effects result from their ministrations. Willie Sterba’s fully (electronic) symphonic attempt to “Fly Like a Reindeer” is scary and uplifting both. Fade out to zenith.

Bored of holiday celebration? Try to see “Through the Eyes of a Reindeer” like the Tigglemeisters. Their sweet show tune is at least a creative writing exercise, at most madness.

Ringers: Alex

Al Walser tried a cutie-pie book a few years back about a black/white reindeer (think Frank Gorshin in that 1967 Star Trek episode). Believe it or don’t, he saves the day. This author also sings about “Alex the Reindeer” with the loungiest showtune schmaltz this side of Tuskaloosa dinner theater. Brace yourself.

Line Up-starters

All the reindeer get named in some songs.

Autry, Gene Autry returns with Will It be A Hit? “Thirty-Two Feet and Eight Little Tails of White.” Kidsong before his Rudolph deal. (But THIS song comes out two years after.)

Where’s Rudolph? is the R+B question of “Reindeer’s Christmas Song.” The Stocking Fillers wail on it seriously.

Now Dasher Now Dancer” is a musical interlude in the Mickey Rooney elder-recital of ‘Night Before.” Bouncey kidsong.

More kidsong from Candy Cane Lane: “Eight Reindeer” is bebopping lite rock about the names.

Starting the refrain, the reindeer list fills in Chris Commisso’s need for lines in the hyperactive pop number “The Christmas (All I Really, Really Want).”

The Sandpipers give each a voice in “Santa’s Other Reindeer (We are the Reindeer Who Work for Santa Claus).” This kidsong personalizes all but the ninth with mucho gusto.

Dash Away All” is the hyper showtune from Sounds Of Blackness’s ‘The Night Before Christmas – A Musical Fantasy.’ Tempo to race ’round the world (never mind the going on strike twist).

X-claim: cheers

Time to raise a cry and a cup for the holidays. Cheers is an appropriate greeting, wish, and toast. Let’s find out who sings what.

The MacDonald Brothers dadrock the blues hand-clapper “Three Cheers for Christmas.” You can hear the hip-hip hooray if you listen at all. Almost silly.

Jen Hanson’s “Three Cheers for Christmas Time” is a sultry jazz rhumba. Drinking is definitely happening.

Downer from Hermione Lund in the form of “Cheers to Christmas.” Missed opportunities, missing loved ones, i think there will be quaffing to come. Symphonic, emotional show tune.

ad silentnitum, unbroken

Still feeling deserted around the holidays? Still?! Sing with brimming eye!

Jim Caliendo soft rocks “Another Blue Christmas” as homage to The King. Stellar effort, decent song.

Steven Acker could take pointers, as his “Another Blue Christmas” is limp rock with empty lyrics. Elvis’s coattails can’t carry this.

Shredding blues guitar stretches “Another Blue Christmas” from Andrew Mellor to the breaking point. How many anothers can a man take?

Sweaty club jazz from David George and The Crooked Christmas Orchestra sneaks “Another Blue Christmas” up on you from expecting Santa to getting shafted.