Category: show tune

‘How the Grinch Stole Christmas’ (1957) was actually improved by the (1966) TV cartoon. THAT had songs! It was enough. But further movies added nothing but silly psychoanalysis, as if you couldn’t figure out these characters for yourselves. Then (1998) Dr. Seuss’ How the Grinch Stole Christmas! The Musical cluttered the shelves further. Narrated by Max (the dog) (“This Time of Year“–added (2007) for the Broadway transplantation) it includes ‘Fah Who Foraze’ and ‘You’re a Mean One.’ But it puffles and weezles with no inner spark. “I Hate Christmas” veers from tango to pop showtune without a hook. The agenda of love vs. materialism is beaten like a dead hornswoggle (“It’s the Thought that Counts“) (also Broadwayized). Cindy Lou Who’s attempt to reach the meanie (“Santa for a Day“) grates like a cattle call for Shirley Temple wannabes. Reprises riddle the Grinch’s epiphany for a whole act dragging out this short idea into redundancy. I will admit that the green one’s amusing-adjacent torch song (to himself) “One of a Kind” helps the show rise to mediocrity.

Also unnecessary, but highly entertaining is A Good Christmas to Die Hard by David Goody. Is that a Christmas movie? Yes. Is this ramshackle album a musical? “Nakatomi Baby.” “Where Are My Detonators?” “But Hans It’s Cold Outside.” “Sgt. Powell.” These are not simply caroldies, but fanboy quote-laden religious homages to an old action flick. Obsessive. Don’t worry, the sequels get their due in “Have Yourself a Yippee-Kai-Yay Christmas.” Amateur singing, brilliant work.

Just a cabaret show full of original songs is hardly a musical (though i did have that discussion with my better half over the essentials of a musical: story?!?), however, when Naughty… but Nice! collects such originally sprightly tunes from all over for this presentation, attention must be paid. Not interested? “Come to the Table” is a come-to-Jesus gospel epic about overeating (and how the Bible teaches pooping). “Baileys for Breakfast” is a deliberate piano bar introspective about seasonal alcoholism. (Which beats out the ragtime sobby cry for help “Little Glass of Wine.” BLUE ALERT) “Santa’s My Daddy” starts as a childhood epiphany, then takes an uncomfortable turn. “Lait de Poule” retros the talky rocker plea of the ’50s, even though it’s about eggnog. (Watch out for the disturbing literal translation.) The 1980s big rock symphony revives with “Why Do I Live Where the Air Hurts My Face?” Awesome kvetching.

David George’s Christmas Ain’t a Drag (The Musical) is about four lost souls intersecting at a nightclub on Christmas Eve. From the promotional material: Brad has lost love and is eager to find it. Holly is always looking for love but never seems to hold on to it. Trish has walled herself away from love. And, Nick is trying to break those walls down. Then there’s Benedict, the owner of the club – a bah humbug kinda’ guy. In the end, love conquers all!

The smokey blues elevate the plotless revue material. “What’s a Naughty Girl to Do?” (feat. Shanna Jones) takes the sax to a new level on the blog. “Hot Rod Santa” (feat. Shay Estes) ups the Hey Hey quotient. “Red Lipstick” (feat. Shay Estes) gets va va voom with the drums. The quieter bits don’t generally work as well (like the lullaby “Tonight’s Child“), but i guess ya gotta vary the tunes and tones to keep ’em guessing. ‘Cuz the lighter waving anthem “Christmas Time is Here” (feat. Shanna Jones) busts up the genres. (And makes me think The Beatles.) Then comes “Another Blue Christmas“… i guessed dull cliche, but it’s got trumpet quiet cool. I mean très cool. And to all a cool vibe. Great album.

School assemblies are a hundred dollars a dozen, so we needn’t tour them all. Let’s sample one or two. Jingle Jury is the trial of Jim Dandy, who doesn’t believe (the jury sings about their dislike of his meanness as an introduction). He raps “Christmas Spirit” about his skepticism. Despite characters from ‘A Christmas Carol’ (“Home“), magi, reindeer and Santa appearing, the songs are few–though the original ones are well written. So, if you’re ready for an evening of missed cues, babies crying, and uncertain talent… you could do worse.

Or we could have fun with the Nativity… More a concept than a musical, ’04’s AD/BC: A Rock Opera is a pastiche of those ‘religious’ rock operas of the ’70s (Jesus Christ Superstar, Godspell). As a big fan of Matt Berry, however, i have to include this. A down-on-his-luck inn keeper sings about his desire to end it all (“May as Well be Dead“), but is interrupted by God telling to keep the inn open as a great star will appear. Herod threatens to foreclose on the inn (“Your Rent is Overdue“) (and move in on the missus), and the keeper thinks Tony Iscariot will be the big star. So his troubled wife sings about being the troubled wife of an innkeeper (“Being an Innkeeper’s Wife“). Poor keeper gives up hope (again) in “Mumbo and Jive.” Then Jo happens by and wonders “Is There a Room at the Inn?” It finalizes with the birth and the whole cast “Makin’ Love Right Now.” Holy groovy.

It’s Christmas Eve, and the interstate in Virginia has closed due to major snowstorms… so begins Cameron Kent’s Welcome to Virginia holiday musical. It’s standard fare, which is not as easy as it sounds. Colorful characters finding meaning when stuck together reeks of revue. The mean ol’ billionaire considers Christmas a “Money-Making Machine.” It’s winky whimsy. The janitor points out that if you’re in such a goldang ol’ hurry “You’re Doing Christmas Wrong.” It wants you to comically look inwards. The hitchhiker fills his “Redneck Christmas” with one-dimensional cliches. But then the pregnant widow (get it?) brings us down mourning her late dad-to-not-be in “My Precious Earl.” Folksy blue. Tick, check, and gotcha.

But they come together, backing and bickering with one another, like in “I Can’t Catch a Break.” Better lyrics makes good music shine. “Turkey and Stuffing Blues” stands out as a cry for overeating help. (Which oddly overshadows “Ain’t No Problem Christmas Can’t Cure“–the surefire big number. But ’tis mumbo jumbo pop psychology.) The rest is sad sentimentality.

To counteract the affects of such original sin, let’s take a Journey to Bethlehem, a big budget new cinematic release with first-timers (incl. director) recreating the Nativity as a superhero kind of thing.

Naturally, trad carols spring to the soundtrack readily. Not into that old ground. The new stuff comes on strong. Herod about steals the show with the show stopping “Good to be King” (Antonio Banderas) but later goes through an identity crisis with the rocking “In My Blood” (Joel Smallbone). Over the top melodrama, but okay. The ‘rents duet their troubles with a string “Can We Make This Work?” but answer at the birth with a sweet “We Become We” (Fiona Palomo, Milo Manheim). You see where this is going? Pop songs to go viral with old news. The magi (Omid Djalili, Rizwan Manji, Geno Segers) rap to heavily orchestration in “Three Wise Guys” to lesser value. (They argue over who has the best gift. Huh.) And, earlier on, the girls (Fiona Palomo, Mōriah, Stephanie Gil) gossip about “Mary’s Getting Married,” a busy pop tickle like you would get in any B’way show. Not sure ’bout that one.

The finale, “Brand New Life,” is that Xian rock scene with drum beating and pounding rhythms and hopping resurrecting a 1979 mosh pit. We the Kingdom (feat Steven Curtis Chapman) give life or at least a three-year-old’s energy to the old story. Bravo/amen.

Then there’s Forest Whitaker, Jennifer Hudson, Jacob Latimore, and Luke James fooling around with Black Nativity. Too many standard carols to get a good review from moi. The songs are the usual gospel rousers (“Be Grateful,” “As“), which are barely positive as the characters are so bedeviled with urban strife (“Hush Child (Get You Through This Silent Night)“). This isn’t THE Christmas Story, just a modern fable (from a Langston Hughes piece) that hearkens back. Redemption comes at the cost of humiliation. Yet the gospel offerings aren’t just up-getters that make you rise; they grip the soul and make you shiver. Stand out numbers include the inimitable Jennifer Hudson’s “Test of Faith,” and the incomparable Forest Whitaker’s (backed by the Gospeldelic Choir) “Can’t Stop Praising His Name.”

I’m not familiar with anyone who watches the Mouseketeer Annette Funicello 1961 Babes in Toyland as a Christmas movie. But it purports to be. This fairy tale about star-crossed lovers Mary Contrary and Tom Piper and the badman, Barnaby, who separates them with murder and worse eventually lands on a Toymaker whose ware will become Xmas gifts. She’s dumb (“I Can’t Do the Sum“) and he’s odd (crossdresses as a gypsy for “Floretta“). They fight monster trees (“Forest of No Return“) and toy versions of each other (“Just a Toy“). So you see, it IS all about the toys (“Workshop Song” with Ed Wynn)!

Tessa Barcelo’s workshopped project Toyland (Live) updates all the feels, so the doomed lovers are toys, but not the Barbie you know (“Good Girl Gone Bad“), nor a boy in a book (“Starcrossed“), but there is a fed up AF elf (“Christmas for Today” BLUE ALERT). Then, the economics of planned obsolescence muddies the waters (“Supply and Demand“). It continues darkly with “Tamogatchi Lullaby” (BLUE ALERT) and “Broken.” Abandonment issues, poor things.