Coal… and blood! In your stocking! “I Want Your Soul for Christmas” is Backyard Superheroes getting demonic pop. You get little in return. Except this cool song.
John Gannon portrays a mischievous youngun suffering from the dread of “Coal in My Stocking Again.” Showtune kidsong.
D’Modes takes a moment to electronically soft pop how “Santa Claus is Real Fine Lookin’.” She admiring of his gear, and his talents. He’s not just a piece of meat (to some).
Pistol Annies have a crush on Santa, and they can’t wait. “Come on Christmastime” they harmonize about their intended rendezvous. Electric country.
For a man your age… begins Shemekia Copeland with bluesy soul about her favorite Xmas man. After only one kiss she calls “Stay A Little Longer, Santa.” Will he abandon his route for her–?
Jane Green with Craig Brown profess to be “Lovesick for Saint Nick” in the most showtune way possible. It’s sweet.
“Don’t Shave for Me, Mrs. Claus” is a gender liquid Celtic overly orchestrated ballad filled with reassuring angst from Ginger. Right up my alley.
Metallists Vicious Kitty go after the traditional “Mrs. Claus” for all the bad things that have accrued at the pole, including Santa’s shaving.
“Santa Shaved Mr. Simpson’s Head” by Mr. Simpson, might be a schoolteacher explaining to the kids why he’s balding. Or it might be a showtune about an acid trip. Frogs, reindeer thieves, and ninjas appearing and disappearing for no better reason than they’re friggin’ awesome.
Chris, Mrs. is a contemporary story of an advertising executive and single dad, Ben Chris, who in a final visit to his late parents’ lodge (which he is planning to leverage for a promotion) runs head first into family opposition from his brother Charlie, teenage daughter Claire, and troublemaking twins Samuel and Samantha. After discovering a ring in their father’s suitcase, the twins write to Santa for assistance. Enter Holly, a seasonal employee at the lodge. Between Charlie’s nostalgic nature and Holly’s Christmas cheer, it soon becomes a holiday no one will forget. This ‘Hallmark movie’ takeoff ticks all the boxes… Soaring wish–“All I Want for Christmas;” vixen’s torch song–“Vicki’s Lament;” an important side track metaphor-“The Great Snowy Owl;” let-your-hair-down whimsy–“Skating By“… On the other hand, it’s quite well done. But it does go to show ya, anyone can write a musical!
Jingle in the City asks us to follow the pick-pocketing adventures of a band of homeless children who steal the hearts of all in 1940s NYC while discovering the true meaning of belonging and love. BIG opening number: “Jingle in the City” o’course. Where do you go from so UP? Traditional carols, sadly. Against that beginning the original songs never measure up (a one minute, all-shouting “Christmas Lights“) (the all-children window shopping “Everything“) (the dance number defanging the police “Catch Me If You Can“) (the sickly sweet orphans’ dream “O to be Loved“). Only religious numbers lead everyone to the same conclusion: That’s The Only Right Way To Sing!
Another overly sentimental “Christmas on the Square” (a ’20 Emmy winner) wallops another millionaire with conscience and spirit just in time. Great hillbilly country music, though. Another “Christmas Is,” now with gospel overtones. Jennifer Lewis dresses down the baddie with a real show tune: “Queen of Mean.” How to cure capitalism? “Everybody Needs an Angel.” (The angel is Jeanine Mason, who reports to the godly Dolly.) The pedantic showdown comes from Dolly with “Light Your Lamp,” a story no hard heart can withstand.
A Christmas Memory is the 2010 musicalization of a Truman Capote short story from 1956. Midwest hokum in concept and execution. “Christmas Is…” reeks of every 1970s greeting card there ever was. The waxy nostalgia of “Christmas Through the Years” is overwhelmed with xylophone noise. “Just Once” sounds like an early rehearsal in a poorly funded school. Apparently the absent father (dead) has made a negative impression, but he whines from beyond the grave in “So Many Times.” Overcoming poverty in the Great Depression is a swell background, but this show requires being old enough to remember that time, as well as having little taste. Rather than suffering the “Finale,” stick to church services.
Another concept album what tells a story, it does. A Christmas Musical by Shifting Buffalo appears humbly as a collection of original holiday jingles. But, check out the titles sequentially: “Hurry Up Santa.” “Prancer Falls Ill,” “What are We Gonna Do?“… Now, fret not, little ones, “The Presents are Delivered in Record Time” [a wild instrumental]. How?? “Brian to the Rescue,” my pretties. (Eminent physicist Brian Cox, that is! SpaceTime is bent for the good!) New Age-ish indie pop–and, i enjoyed this 20 minute ride of a musical.
You like that? Have another (this time a 45 minute multi-genre rock album only) Contents Under Pressure: A Christmas Musical by Contents Under Pressure. It begins with a proper “Overture.” The gang doesn’t know what to do for “Christmas This Year,” so they concoct a musical. Plot? One of them has lost the spirit. He’s had a past Christmas that was “Too Real.” While pouting, he stumbles into a “Snowball Fight.” After hospitalization they all go “Shopping” (great kick line bridge), but it’s not enough to respiritualize. You see, this is just a fun mess with as much story as a Beatles’ movie in the ’60s. After a ‘Wonderful Life’ fantasy sequence (“Anti Xmas War Machine“), we dive deep into what “Christmas Means to Me.” Alls well that includes excellent rock. And a “Party Song.”
As we wind down the month, i must admit to locating many musicals that have no published soundtracks. I had no intention of invoking their specters. But, for the Hanukkah special i had to reference with what little was at hand.
For example, ‘Hershel and the Hanukkah Goblins’ piques our interest with its title. It’s a children’s picture book that got adapted by Z Puppets Rosenschnoz. Check out the advert. And a home movie of a production in which the trickster fools the monsters with overcomplicated religious practices. “There is Something Wrong Here” makes a nice somber intro. “O Hershel, Beware of Goblins” is a fine pep talk for the wandering jester figure. “We Hate Hanukkah” is fairly cute for the Goblin chorus kick line.
Now Adam Sandler doesn’t get a pass in my house. He has to earn titles like ‘funnyman.’ So, i rewatch Eight Crazy Nights and i tip the hat. “Davey’s Song” is such a blend of jolly tune and self loathing, it gets me every time. What i dig the most is the casual plot turns put into song, like in “Long Ago” and “Bum Biddy.” Good stuff. There’s even a catchy tune in there: “Technical Foul.” Earworm!
A Hanukkah Carol, or GELT TRIP! The Musical is the (finally) cultural cross-over of Dickens and The Chosen people. Narcissistic influencer Chava Kanipshin overdoses on pot (Marley reference) and envisions her life through a humanistic lens. Can’t get a full soundtrack here either, but the “Trailer” is fun. The message song “A Light in the Night” has a nice beat, but the schmaltz is too slippery. “The Present is a Gift” is much more clever. I’d see it.
‘How the Grinch Stole Christmas’ (1957) was actually improved by the (1966) TV cartoon. THAT had songs! It was enough. But further movies added nothing but silly psychoanalysis, as if you couldn’t figure out these characters for yourselves. Then (1998) Dr. Seuss’ How the Grinch Stole Christmas! The Musicalcluttered the shelves further. Narrated by Max (the dog) (“This Time of Year“–added (2007) for the Broadway transplantation) it includes ‘Fah Who Foraze’ and ‘You’re a Mean One.’ But it puffles and weezles with no inner spark. “I Hate Christmas” veers from tango to pop showtune without a hook. The agenda of love vs. materialism is beaten like a dead hornswoggle (“It’s the Thought that Counts“) (also Broadwayized). Cindy Lou Who’s attempt to reach the meanie (“Santa for a Day“) grates like a cattle call for Shirley Temple wannabes. Reprises riddle the Grinch’s epiphany for a whole act dragging out this short idea into redundancy. I will admit that the green one’s amusing-adjacent torch song (to himself) “One of a Kind” helps the show rise to mediocrity.
