I Want to BELIEVE:XV

Trying again, Maxwell Miles (feat. Gary Zimmer) emphatically declare “Santa is Real” with pounding pop music. Believe or get outta the way.

Sasha Alex Sloan draws a country line between childhood and fairy tales, and nasty growing up with divorce and illness in the sobering “Santa’s Real.” Brace yourself.

Subliminal singing from Monster and the Family makes a prog rock mess out of “Santa is Real.” As my wife likes to point out, some forwarding will improve your enjoyment.

Lenne Brothers Band livens up the party with rockabilly and “It Could be Santa.” Just in case.

Wild Hares broaden horizons with indie possibilities “If You Believe.” It’s conditional.

In ‘Elf: The Musical’ Santa’s existence gets questioned. The mom and kid make a list of demands while making their lists. If they get personal gifts (NOT CASH), they showtune “I’ll Believe in You.” Quid pro quo.

I Want to BELIEVE:XIV

Trying again, Todd McHatton allows You can believe what you want to believe. But, for him, “A Plate of Cookies (Yes We Believe).” Rocking pop recounts how the cookies vanished–ipso ergo.

Jugo raps out both sides of “Santa Exists.” All i can say is Hugo exists.

Ana Cristina Cash slathers country onto showtune for her “Santa Claus is Real.” It’s a bit of fun from the only living witness.

Santa Claus is Real” by Freakboy & Friends featuring Nehedar, Roy Peak, Sue Bachner, and many more! is a sing-along party you are definitely invited to. How do all these people know? Because because I believe it! So there.

One of my favorites is the zydeco-adjacent Brave Combo discovery of “Santa’s Polka.” If he dances, he exists! Be ready–steps will be called.

From a BLUE ALERT musical comes the how-to “Believing Is an Easy Sorta Fing” from Sam Poole (feat. Nik Prsa). Follow the bouncing moods and swing along.

Oneirology.17

 Three Ninjas & His Weird Old Tricks flips the script for an upcountry hillbilly country fest: “The Birth Of Our Savior (Is The Death Of My Dream).” Says what it means, means what it says.

Backed by smoking accordions, Perry Como gets nostalgic for his “Christmas Dream.” He gives this easy listening dirge a run for its money with rap pacing. Yee haw.

Not to be outdone, Neil Diamond offers a “Christmas Dream” about a blind man showing him The Way. (To Jesus, duh.) Pop as only Neil can.

Linda Belcher (John Roberts) reveals her “Christmas Dream” in Bob’s Burgers. Now this showtune dream can actually SAVE the holidays for hardworking lower middle class strugglers.

Stocking of COAL

Coal? Not coal again?!

Antha Lee’s “Stocking Full of Coal” causes her consternation. Was she bad? Her soul singing isn’t bad.

I Got a Stocking Full of Coal” wails The Crushtones with terrific ’60s garage rocking. And they hopes up so high!

Coal… and blood! In your stocking! “I Want Your Soul for Christmas” is Backyard Superheroes getting demonic pop. You get little in return. Except this cool song.

John Gannon portrays a mischievous youngun suffering from the dread of “Coal in My Stocking Again.” Showtune kidsong.

Santaphilic.17

Again! Danish tuba backs Christiane Bjørg Nielsen crooning whispery “Who’s That Hunk in the Santa Suit?” Cool.

D’Modes takes a moment to electronically soft pop how “Santa Claus is Real Fine Lookin’.” She admiring of his gear, and his talents. He’s not just a piece of meat (to some).

Pistol Annies have a crush on Santa, and they can’t wait. “Come on Christmastime” they harmonize about their intended rendezvous. Electric country.

For a man your age… begins Shemekia Copeland with bluesy soul about her favorite Xmas man. After only one kiss she calls “Stay A Little Longer, Santa.” Will he abandon his route for her–?

Jane Green with Craig Brown profess to be “Lovesick for Saint Nick” in the most showtune way possible. It’s sweet.

No Grooming at the Inn

Man maintenance! For Xmas!

Don’t Shave for Me, Mrs. Claus” is a gender liquid Celtic overly orchestrated ballad filled with reassuring angst from Ginger. Right up my alley.

Metallists Vicious Kitty go after the traditional “Mrs. Claus” for all the bad things that have accrued at the pole, including Santa’s shaving.

Santa Shaved Mr. Simpson’s Head” by Mr. Simpson, might be a schoolteacher explaining to the kids why he’s balding. Or it might be a showtune about an acid trip. Frogs, reindeer thieves, and ninjas appearing and disappearing for no better reason than they’re friggin’ awesome.

Curtain Call

Chris, Mrs. is a contemporary story of an advertising executive and single dad, Ben Chris, who in a final visit to his late parents’ lodge (which he is planning to leverage for a promotion) runs head first into family opposition from his brother Charlie, teenage daughter Claire, and troublemaking twins Samuel and Samantha. After discovering a ring in their father’s suitcase, the twins write to Santa for assistance. Enter Holly, a seasonal employee at the lodge. Between Charlie’s nostalgic nature and Holly’s Christmas cheer, it soon becomes a holiday no one will forget. This ‘Hallmark movie’ takeoff ticks all the boxes… Soaring wish–“All I Want for Christmas;” vixen’s torch song–“Vicki’s Lament;” an important side track metaphor-“The Great Snowy Owl;” let-your-hair-down whimsy–“Skating By“… On the other hand, it’s quite well done. But it does go to show ya, anyone can write a musical!

The Big Number

Jingle in the City asks us to follow the pick-pocketing adventures of a band of homeless children who steal the hearts of all in 1940s NYC while discovering the true meaning of belonging and love. BIG opening number: “Jingle in the City” o’course. Where do you go from so UP? Traditional carols, sadly. Against that beginning the original songs never measure up (a one minute, all-shouting “Christmas Lights“) (the all-children window shopping “Everything“) (the dance number defanging the police “Catch Me If You Can“) (the sickly sweet orphans’ dream “O to be Loved“). Only religious numbers lead everyone to the same conclusion: That’s The Only Right Way To Sing!

Blocking/Choreography

Another overly sentimental “Christmas on the Square” (a ’20 Emmy winner) wallops another millionaire with conscience and spirit just in time. Great hillbilly country music, though. Another “Christmas Is,” now with gospel overtones. Jennifer Lewis dresses down the baddie with a real show tune: “Queen of Mean.” How to cure capitalism? “Everybody Needs an Angel.” (The angel is Jeanine Mason, who reports to the godly Dolly.) The pedantic showdown comes from Dolly with “Light Your Lamp,” a story no hard heart can withstand.

House Lights

A Christmas Memory is the 2010 musicalization of a Truman Capote short story from 1956. Midwest hokum in concept and execution. “Christmas Is…” reeks of every 1970s greeting card there ever was. The waxy nostalgia of “Christmas Through the Years” is overwhelmed with xylophone noise. “Just Once” sounds like an early rehearsal in a poorly funded school. Apparently the absent father (dead) has made a negative impression, but he whines from beyond the grave in “So Many Times.” Overcoming poverty in the Great Depression is a swell background, but this show requires being old enough to remember that time, as well as having little taste. Rather than suffering the “Finale,” stick to church services.