Category: garage

Part four is (supposedly) funny stuff.

You want silly??!! Joey Slater looks to the midyear and avers that Christmas can still be felt. “JULY or Just Put some Bells on It” is indie rock with a point. But weird.

Okay, we’re avoiding actual ‘Jingle Bells’ melodies, but i have to hear Rick Moyer’s Star Trek fun “Klaxon Bells” one more time.

‘Silver Bells’ gets the mock up from Snook in “Swingin Bells.” Urban reproval.

Kidtime! Disney creatures share in “From All of Us to All of You,” originally a Jimminy Cricket Christmas greeting from the ’50s. This jazz band number revels in the bells. A lot of bells.

Sarah Winter seems to have taken the chorus of that Snoopy/Red Baron Christmas song and made their own “Christmas Bells” repetition. Kinda cool.

Jeff Dunham’s Christmas special finale “When Santa Comes to Town” is not the usual acerbic wit he cuts with. Instead it reeks of 1980s Looney Toons reconstructed TV, slick but hollow. Bells in the chorus, but yawn.

More merry, The Christmas Jug Band do what they do to celebrate Santa’s arrival. Bells will ring, they declare, “When the Red Sled Comes.” Hep-some.

The Superions get suggestive with their strip club jazz “Jingle Those Bells.” Get your singles out.

The Skivvies (who perform in their underwear) mashup mod pop and carols in the odd “Bells Bells Bells.” Give it a tinkle.

Parody perfectionists, The Withers lay out some “Jingle Jingle Jingle” for your edutainment.

The Benefit try out “Sleigh Bells” in a different context… doesn’t work. Still the Winter Holidays. Funny.

Oddly evocative, “The Sleighbell Museum” from The Non Traditionals paints a picture of a fantasy place we will never see with bossa nova soft pop.

Fed up, yet? The Rattlesnakes garage the pain with “Christmas Bells won’t Stop Ringing.” Crescendo and out.

Again: Miles Maxwell (feat. Gary Zimmer) fab out the pop with “Santa is Real.” This uber-rationalization comes off as snide at best. I suspect disbelief.

The Boulevards (feat. L Odessa) doo wop in a closed bathroom to bring us “I Don’t Believe in Santa Claus.” Groovy, but tinny.

Largely undecipherable, the club pop of Davii plows through “Don’t Believe in Santa with URBAN ZAKAPA.” See, i’m not sure if urban is a tribute or an attribution. But i am doing the bossa nova to it.

Excez exhorts us with shouted garage in “Don’t Believe in Santa.” Careful, here. They have tools.

Again: Nick Helm storms a UK talent show with the BLUE ALERT alert “There Ain’t No Fucking Santa Claus.” Still laughing here.

Attempting rap  D.P. Weisemann declares “I Can Believe It’s Here” with only middling effort. Not buying it.

So Out There electronicas “This is Why Christmas is Bullshit!” for your edification. Brit anti-capitalism, so file it away correctly in case you need it again.

The Aux garage rocks the if/then equation of “A Real Santa.” It’s only a thought experiment, but now i feel all funny inside.

The cast of ‘Naughty… But Nice’ reprise “Waiting up for Santa.” It’s for a date, and i don’t mean 12/25.

Charming kidsong features a peeper who starts hollering about this guy in a “Big Red Suit” messing with the Christmas tree. The Trail Band’s jug band recitation is pretty good.

Syrpyntyne parodies American Authors to relate “The Best Christmas on My Life.” You know, the one where you caught a glimpse through the window of you know who on Christmas Eve. Sneaking ensues.

Flooded Cellar just plain is gonna “Wait All Night for Santa.” American country garage. They gotta know what’s going on.It’s like that.

Not going to sleep is cramping Richie Valentino (feat. Dynasty the King)’s style in “Rum Pum Pum.” Synthed rap about wanting to get bizzy, but yule-blocked by those awake kids. Go to sleep!!

Mom and Dad know there’s no way I’m sleepin’ confesses Leanna Crawford with pop country sass in “Christmas Dreamin’.” It’s not sleep-dreamin’, ya see. It’s kid-wishin’ for all the goodies. Don’t doze!

I think of you late at night/When I can’t sleep sing Mutual Frogs full of heartbreak in the garage doodling “Melancholy Christmas.” It’s the most lonely time of the year.

Pat Boone keeps me up at nights with his velvety crag-voice trudging through carols like “Now I Lay Me Down to Sleep.” Santa Claus versus Sandman, quoth he with easy-listening woodwindery.

10,000 mile away from home/I cannot sleep, I cannot sleep retro rocks The Yule Logs with a jet lag concern during “Christmas in Berlin.” Life on the road!

Vista Blue rocks the garage with the eyelid struggle in the superior “Why Does It Take Forever?” I can’t ever fall asleep/When it’s Christmas Eve!

The “Christmas Nightmare” of Benitez Family is a garagingly relentless Santa pursuit. Run. RUN!

Bit of an experimental multimedia shitshow from Dirk Diggler, “Christmas Nightmare” speaks for itself.

Sherri DuPree divulges her “White Christmas Nightmare” with garage rock, but with energy, too–which is the opposite of a garage thing. What IS this?

Getting jazzy with the zither “Dreaming Dreams of Christmas” by Marlana Hillary rolls through childhood nostalgia, creating an existential loop of hope and regret.

While we’ve been exposed to songs about NOT dreaming (from Gilbert O’Sullivan) before on this blog, the Pete Jones parody: “I’m Really Not Dreaming Of A White Christmas” really sells the muddle of whether or not dreams happen.

Muzicchick’s “I’m Not Dreaming of a White Christmas” is EDM pontificating about how foolish our Xmas chatter is. It’s space age spiffy.

Plugging into punk garage The Aborted apply warped agenda to “I’m Dreaming Of A Caucasian Christmas.” Preaching to the queer, brother.

Can you just skip the chimney?

Michelle Hill and The Snowflakes garage up the indie “All I Want For Christmas Is Food (Passover My Chimney).” Perhaps Hebrew in origin, these folks just say No to the el.

Fountain Dew reveals the aluminum foil and lightbulb which means “The Fireplace is a Hoax.” Claus blocked! Effective garage.

More assertively, Dick Blowtorch wails garage electronica about “Waiting by da Chimney with a Baseball Bat (Oh Yeah).” I feel his pain (in my ears).

Markologic kicks off Santa sex with this unambiguity that fucking Father Christmas is usually pretty same sex. “I’m Going to Fuck Santa Claus” is a lively (and funny) rap about fulfilling conjoining.

BeanzTaken gets even more graphic with the gay in the childlike rap of “I Fucked Santa.” Just finding their way.

Lil Frik identifies with the ASLO immortal OG homie Kringle. “I Fucked Santa Claus” is workmanlike rap without much passion. In and out.

Song Boys play more punk (pop) with their tell-all “Merry Christmas (I Just Fucked Santa.” Got ‘r done.

Jesus Penis growls out the garage rage of “I Sodomized Santa Claus” like it was a butthole of a chore. Whew.