Category: folk

It’s All Relative, Santa & Son

Is Santa the dad to beat all? Aren’t we all his family?

John Goodman sings about how everybody is somebody in “Santa’s Family.” It’s a showtune from ‘Rudolph the Red-Nosed Reindeer, The Movie.’ Slow jazzy ragtime, but still treacly kidpop.

We all wish it, don’t we? “Wouldn’t It be Fun to be Santa Claus’s Son?” revisits our site now by Joanie Bartels. Kidsong cliche.

Maybe he really has his own kid. “Willie Claus, Little Son of Santa Claus” gets a cover by Jaye D. Marie to explain why kids are more trouble than they’re worth. Kid country on speed.

The “Son Of St. Nick” might turn out okay in the end. Swoony folk from Kelly Nolf & Wyndi Harp rocks out the possibility. Wotta hunk.

Santa’s daughter, on the other hand, is a handful. Soca from RemBunction tells the story of “Samantha Claus (I’m a Big Boy).” She brings out the little boy in the big boy with her presence.

I mean, does Santa even procreate? In “New Elf in the Family” Three Day Threshold and Aedan Byrnes revival folk rock out how Mr. and Mrs. Claus make more slaves. Blessed event, or bottom line?

It’s All Relative, oh… THEM

Not every family is YOUR family, especially not for Christmas. Some are iconic, others illustrative.

Most of these songs are amateur offerings to be kept behind family trees. “The Royalty Family X-mas” from The Royalty Family channel is just begging for attention with his slurring, her cleavage, and the little one’s ‘tude. Ragged rap.

The Sentimental Favorites detail the musses and fusses of the “Roelle Family Christmas.” Actually, i may have gotten onion rings on the way home from family gatherings my own self. Pop folk wackadoo.

It’s All Relative, from afar

Nothing measures love like the cost of a plane ticket. Will you travel ALL the way over the river AND through the woods to get to the Christmas jubilee at PeePaw’s and MeeMaw’s? Well, then you win Best Child, ya ol’ prodigal, you.

Some of those out-of-towners ain’t so welcome, y’see. Duck Logic Comedy counsel you with folksy patience in “An Extended Family Christmas.” Who are all these weirdos?

Just as twisted, the elderly reunion of Olivia Newton John and John Travolta for Christmas in the country pop “I Think You Might Like It” is as authentic as her lips and his orientation. Ooky.

Soul directs Ron Tyson to appreciate the whole pack when he croons “I’m Gonna be with My Family for Christmas.” Finger popping and doo-doo-dooing ensues. (And tears.)

Modern folk gospel sets the scene for Vincent Knight’s “Family Christmas.” This honest prayer of returning home is sad, sweet, and solemn.

It’s All Relative, faux fam

Can you fake a family? ‘Course you can! ‘Tis the season to fool Pee and Em about your marital status.

Is this really a problem?! Please re-listen to Sara Baker’s “(I Hate) Every single Christmas,” a showtune about nosy relates who wanta know about your lovelife, martial status, childbearing possibilities…. Eeek.

Team Natu has a folksy upbeat number in “Christmas Man.” I’m not sure if this guy’s a Craigslist ad, but you get the idea. Funny stuff.

It’s All Relative, too much!

New boyfriend? Bring ‘im! In-laws? C’mover! Blended fam? Uh-what! We’re running out of room around the holidays in our cozy house! Chaos!!

The happy-party-lovefest version of this sounds like Peter Andre with horns and uke and jazz and “Christmas Time’s for Family.” Can’t stop smiling!

Ross Bagdasarian (aka David Seville of Chipmunks fame) returns with “Let’s Have a Merry Merry Christmas” about the car crash of family get-togethers. 1953 big band pop hijinks.

In-laws are a popular bitch for Christmas. The Christmas Pranksters check the parody box with “My In-Laws are Coming to Town,” which i guess smells worse than Santa Claus doing that.

Celtic wonder from Mark Cummings also worried about “Inlaws Coming to
Town.” Now it’s philosophical questions rather than rando rants. Thoughtful crying.

It’s All Relative, dysfunction

Oil, water, vinegar, gasoline… it takes all kinds to make one group of relatives. Go with it.

Lynyrd Skynyrd gets honky tonk American rock with the aw shucks celebration “Skynyrd Family.” They’re one short of an eight track.

Yeah, yeah, yeah, Saturday Night Live had a running ‘Dysfunctional Family’ routine, including the commercial for the “Dysfunctional Family Christmas Album.” Pop psychology parodies.

Todd Yohn goes gay musical with “Dysfunctional Family Christmas.” Curious, but a bit ordinary for a colorful family collective.

Vancougar gets melodically mellifluous with their “Dysfunctional Family Christmas.” It’s a heartwarming celebration of what Xmas really means.

It’s All Relative, dogs BLUE ALERT

Troubles are part of the packaging when it comes to Christmasfamilytime.

“Black Dog Family” are better off without ’em. The old ones, anyway. Now, the new family (the little black dogs) are all Three Ninjas need. Awfully fun folk alt with commentary. BLUE ALERT–we hate ’em so much.

EX-Mas, it’s not yule…

The announcement for the Xmas break-up is traditionally quiet, with a slammed door for punctuation.

Way underplayed is the jazzy scat from Goldentusk. “I’m Breaking up with You for Christmas” calmly takes us through the presents, surprises, and exit. Almost missed it–

Matt Roach also strums matter-of-factly through the split. “Paralyzed” is the reaction to your rapidly vanishing backside, on Christmas day. But, this fine folk tale is not done. His emotional freezing will be matched with a physical similarity. Listen to find out why.

Before Braille more prettily drops the bombshell with graphic explanations. Alt crooning makes it worse.

ReduXmas: Snow Business

Taking a break from strict Christian-capitalist mythos, snow became the padding for many Xmas albums. What YOU celebrating if not the miracle of visible precip?

It can’t be Xmas until that first snowfall, yea? If there’s no “Snowflakes for Christmas” the Crystalairs will doowop you a dire scene.

‘Course snow can be the metaphor you dance to, vis-à-vis “Snow Machine” from Sharon Needles. Classy techno dance pop.

More dance dance dance from Holidelic with “Snowglobe,” a threat, treat, and tease all-in-one. Funky rock.

Poppy alt from Emmy the Great and Time Wheeler equates “Snowflakes” with the early traces of love. For good and bad.

Potterphiles love it when “It’s Snowing,” according to the dramatic pop of Catchlove. Yeah, okay, i dunno which Rowling chapter this references.

“No Snow (Just Rain Dear)” is rock with just a fingerful of pop from Dr. BLT, teaching us that holiday weather matters less than puns.

Dr. BLT next reveals “It’s Snowing in My Heart” since he lost you. Lite country rock that doesn’t want the snow so much

That inconvenience of “Snowed In on Christmas” piles the pop onto the folk of The New Anxiety. Perky misery.

ReduXmas: Drink Drunk Stunk

Got carried away with overindulgences here. So let’s combo!

There may still be chalkboard screeching like kwixotica’s “Have Yourself a Freshly Filled up Beer Glass,” but fortunately Jaymz Bee & The Royal Jelly Orchestra disco lounges you to raise a glass of love (his “Christmas Cocktail”) around the world. Smooth.

And, thanks be, Songs to Wear Pants To will shaggy doo wop out “Mimosa Christmas” to delight young and old.

That may excuse Jake Owen (ft. Parmalee) getting country funk with their lame jokey objectification and childishness due to “Christmas Spirits.” Tight pop, sloppy humanity.

The Dwarves turn the corner with hard-driving punk and “Drinking Up Christmas.” Fight’s coming!

From the other side hales Entenzahn playing ‘What Do Ye Do with a Drunken Sailor?’ instead offering up a “Drunken Santa.” Weird.

Thank Goodness for the slango jargonistic special code in songs so that Steven Courtney’s “Flat Zonked Jack” jazz rock can be enjoyed without being dissected as a drug fueled rant.

Or Holidelic, who flat out say drinking is catching up at the end of the year. “Down the Hatch” is funky, friendly, fondly filling up and filling in. (Xmas makes a brief appearance at the end.) Cheers.

Devastating Just Cause are just the boys to BLUE ALERT rap out “Drunk for the Holidays.” It’s their miserably angry jam.

Let’s peace out with the cautionary gentle folk of “Merry Weary” in which Ages is so tired about drugs.

The other lowly example of drug use for Xmas is the parody party from Slant 6 and the Jumpstarts with the Dylan chucklefest “Santa Claus Must be Stoned.” I need a little something to find this funny.