Year-round Yuletide oddities
The nights are long, the computer is bright. What will you look up to pass the time around Xmas?
“The Ballad of Michael Caine” is barely a Christmas song, but it’s on a lovely Christmas album from Tony Thaxton. And it’s what we all do, but now it’s to pop folk.
Computing devices have been around since the Bible (when was that?!), but the electro-version that has become our beneficent overlord kicks out in the 1930s (thanks, WWII). Most every bit of tech we will concern ourselves with in our little timeline hereafter is some weird descendant of this mechanical thinking apparatus. So let’s sing!
Brian Gari admits “I Want a Computer for Christmas” with retro shu-bop rock naming all the components, cuz it’s funnier that way.
Joe Algeri has a precious folk/pop ode to “Computer Xmas.” I dig the dial-up intro, psychedelic outro, and can’t-turn-off-the-drum-machine interlude. Dynamite stuff.
Where would Christmas be without television? In the home, individual, special. Instead, we have the homogenized milky white dreams that all see when we close our eyes. Ahh, America.
Oh, i’ve supplied you with Xmas on TV type songs before. There’s always a couple more….
The Skootles point out (with alt-jingle bell) that “Christmas on TV” is not the same as reality. It’s rather soothing, think i’ll just turn my mind off for a minute–
Justin Lacy serenades us in that’s-not-quite-english folk with a hope for better. He wants a “Christmas on TV” then it’ll all be better. Then he woke up.
The Twentieth Century begins with tweaking and developing the great inventions of the last century. Hence we jump ahead a few years. Adding color to motion pictures begins in the 1910s, but Technicolor (as a trademark) takes another decade.
Tommy & The Greyhounds are actually emphasizing something culturally significant in “It’s a Technicolor Christmas When You’re Jewish.” See, the cinemas are more empty on the 25th of December and some (chosen) people get them all to themselves. Ragtime folk fun.
Wireless is magic! Like Santa! Radio connections are made well before 1900, so maybe the songs here might sound a wee bit old fashioned.
Pop music sounds way been-there done-that to me. Olivia Newton John loves “Christmas on the Radio.” She’ll even throw in a doowop or two. But it’s modulated mainstream.
Finding Favour instills more funky soul (and God) into the bluegrassy folk of their “Christmas on the Radio.” It’s third degree nostalgia.
If The ‘War on Christmas’ began on Fox News, what songs can we find about the talent therein?
Back in July ’16 we went white with Megyn Kelly’s proclamation that ‘Santa is just white, kids’ and the fun novelty song reactions. Thus were The Kinsey Sicks, Lauren Mayer, and Tom Latourette shrill, ill, and lounge. Still fun today.
Roy Zimmerman special delivers with “Bill O’Reilly’s Christmas” Special: Merry Christmas: Shut Up! A lovely folksy showtune to put us in a mood.
Although the religious gravitas on Christmas took hits from the Soviet Union and Nazi Germany last Century, certainly capitalism has diminished the faith-basing in honor of the cash-generating. Yet, Peter Brimelaw and Bill O’Reilly have cranked up a rallying cry on ‘The War on Christmas’ for a dozen years or more, evidencing the public schools and other small gov’t civic institutions secularizing public December observations after being called to task in the ’90s over the whitewashing of America, which is not only WASP but full of lots of all kinds of peoples non-aboriginal. If you say the code words Merry Christmas you can disguise many sweatshop/uncharitable evils from those with privilege panic. But if you intone Happy Holiday as an inclusive, welcoming allowance (even in an Irving Berlin way), you have once again killed the King of the Jews.
Sounds like we’re taking sides, but it’s ALL about Christmas, so it’s all included this month. Angry us vs. them bashing, ironic jollity, ambiguity, and celebration–any song that circles the controversy will be allowed to wage war from any angle. A few may be good. Let’s see….
Honestly too few songs make the fuss about how we should be less Christian for this party. I certainly played my share couple months ago when we celebrated Festivus, Kwanzaa, and Solstice Night.
Kari Maaren has a bit of fun with C.S. Lewis’s Narnia lore in her folksy “I Won’t Say Merry Christmas to You.” This White Witch monologue to music seems to be part of some Off-Off-Off-Broadway attempt. Smart, and with Turkish delight.
Kara Square also relies on the ukulele with her atheist’s appeal: “Please Don’t Wish Me a Merry Christmas.” Her sensitivity comes with instructions. Everyone get along, now!
Can Mrs. Claus really leave Santa? She’s too famous to get away. She’ll always be tarred with that epithet. Perhaps there’s another way to start over.
“Santa Claus is Dead” is a bit extreme, but the chuckley folk of Jeremy Secrest makes risible of what a dame who’s had enough is to do. Take it with a grain of mistletoe.
Being the wife of the big guy is NOT a thankless job after all. Let’s sing our cheers to the deserving doyenne of polar domesticity.
Swinging kids add a churchy urgency to R+B in “Let’s Hear It for Mrs. Claus.” Beauregard Youth Choir seems to color inside the lines, however, and i’m not hearing sincerity only harmony–great harmony.
Other children’s music includes “Mrs. Santa Claus (When It’s Christmas Time)” by Lucas Ciliberti. Lively listing, but middle of the road musically.
Sherry Hursey kicks off the chant in “Thank You, Mrs. Santa Claus.” The best she seems to do in this kidsong, however, is support the Mr.
Acknowledging the underappreciated qualities Jessie Farrell swings some country for her “Mrs. Claus.” When this chanteuse asks ‘give her a round of applause’ she sells it, kids.
Let’s have a hand for “Mrs. Santa Claus” girl group The Quinto Sisters. These pixies made the TV variety circuit in the sixties and might still be ca-rooning through the Catskills today. Jumpy, catchy, pop rock hyper. [Alma Cogan debuted this number–1954–with gushy perk.]
Richard Knechtel’s “Thank You Mrs. Claus” is unassuming praise couched in jazzy folk fun. Matter-of-fact suits her wonderfulness.
Plenty of Christmas albums tout ‘secular’ songs about snow, sled rides, family, and a certain carmine-clad gentleman. But a few songs go the extra mile to hale the day and scoff the deity. At least one day of celebrational tunes should embrace all that is not Christmas around this time of year. It’s a bit like NOT thinking about elephants, ergo difficult to be different than. But a coupla songs define that mathematical set.
Dave Jay taunts the separation of church and state with “A Very Merry Federal Secular Holiday.” This rocks, but it’s really about Christmas Christmas Christmas. Shame on you for considering it otherwise.
YNW Melly comes from another direction with “No Holidays.” This reggae funk rap allows that some of us are way too down to get Gee Dee Merry (Yeah, BLUE ALERT).
Privilege allows Singalong Songs to offer a PC non-offensive carol for kids. ‘It doesn’t matter’ should not be a refrain for happy day, but their “Christmas Holiday Song” is a great party dance number. (They do avoid the term Christmas in the song, don’t know why it’s in the title.)
I lovelovelove Dan Bull’s lovefest folk-rap “Secular Song in Celebration of the 25th of December.” He goes to some length to list for you everything that should be noted for 12/15 that’s not Christ. Get a pen.
The easy way out is to mock carols with word-substitutions. Whatever. The BBC radio series And Now in Colour had a culture-bound bit about “Christmas Carols for Atheists.” Anglophiles rejoice.
Howard Billington reinterps testament from the non-believers’ POV with the fun and catchy pop “Atheist Christmas Song (The Meaning of Christmas).”
Tom Tighe gets more folk serious playing Jesus just a man in “I am Not a Wandering Angel (An Atheist Christmas Carol).” Yikes, it’s not about God after all.
Necessary repeat: “Santa is an Atheist” is finger-popping jazz fun from Casey McKinnon. Weee!
“An Atheist’s Christmas” which gets play because of Taiwanese animation is a mixed bag of the broken toys who don’t have God in their lives. Dreadful clubpop rap thanks to Tomo News.
Vienna Teng’s gorgeous symphonic number “The Atheist’s Christmas Carol” is so holy mystical i could hear a church choir render this to uplift all souls. It’s not contrary, only using human as the measure of miracles.
I’m not in the habit of posting songs in Austrian, but “I’m an Atheist (A Christmas Song)” is a clever coming-out pop number dressed up in an admission to atheism. Strange days.
Second City has a “Carol for the Rest of Us” about how atheists fake it to get along. Wotta production.
Much more focused, “A Christmas Song for the Doubtful” from Anna Robinson admits ‘notthatthere’sanythingwrongwiththat,’ but nails the back-and-forth with strong folk.
Freedom Kerl gets the anti-spirit in his DIY rock song “An Atheist Christmas Song.” Let’s focus on the gifts!
Dan Margarita (cheers to that name) straddles folk with “An Atheist Christmas Song.” He allows for the jolly holiday, but whines about his minorityism. Punchy rapping fun.
Follow Robert Crenshaw’s mystical folk ’70s rock journey to his “Atheist Christmas.” He wasn’t born yesterday (in a manger), he’s working this one out for pure bliss.