Category: eezee lisseneen

Santa Lights

Lights for Jesus, check. Lights for family, check. Anyone else need to see these around Christmas?

Antony Field kidsongs “Puttin’ Up the Christmas Lights” in order for Santa Claus to find the house. They’re good for that!

The Ohio City Singers swings the blues with “Waiting on a Red Light.” This story warns of who is coming Christmas Eve. So… i’m not sure if there are traffic signals involved, or the prostitute’s neighborhood, or it’s just a good time to go monochrome for the big guy.

The light Santa needs is generally the freak-nose-show from the head of his herd. But Kitty Wells attempted to outsing that Rudolphjuggernaut in “Dasher with the Light Upon His Tail.” This country swanger beleaguers imagery–don’t imagine this one at home, kids!

Star Guides

It’s leading, it’s guiding, it’s got a map unfolded and a ray pointing… Look! That star!!

Studio Musicians (!) set a military march beat for their caravan figuring what to do “With a Star That Bright.” It’s definitely guiding us, hup to.

Slim Whitman lends his charisma to “Star of the East.” It’s guiding us all, my children. Hope. Tranquility. Eternity. Go on, now. (Judy Garland‘s take on this is much less reassuring.) (Oakwood Waits make a stentorian antiquity out of this–yowza!)

Star Beckons

Let’s anthropomorphize that Star of the Nativity a bit more.

Diamond Rio compares the beacon with a candle in the wind in “The Star Still Shines.” It beckons, wise men. If you lose your way, you get this hint o’ light. I mean today.

It shines, it dispels, it beckons, it guides all y’all. “Star of Wonder” from James Loynes is middle of the road easy listening for a grand recital showing. What a busy star.

Shining Star

So that star of Bethlehem… what’s it doing pre-xactly? Well, that depends on the carol. Sometimes it just shines.

“Shine Like a Star in the Morning” helps us identify (God knows I’m gonna…) with that blazing point of light. If not Nativity, at least folk power ballad. The Seeger Sisters antiquify it. John Reischmann and the Jaybirds prettify it. Elizabeth Mitchell simplifies it (digging that snare).

It only shines on Christmas Eve, ’cause it’s the “Christmas Eve Star.” So say The Boy From Space. If you believe. Odd alt.

More personalization from NoNameBand with “I am a Star.” The brassy offkey marching music makes me miss Ethel Merman. But the star just brightly shines. (And the song seems to cut off, is this just a teaser?!)

Jingle Bell breakdown

The ‘Jingle Bells’ juggernaut has bestowed upon us an industry of songs that aren’t the standard. And you can’t have an engaging story without some conflict. So let’s look at the broken bells a bit. Cry amongst yourselves.

“Ding-a-Ling the Christmas Bell” fell and broke his harmony, according to Lynn Anderson. 1971 was full of such ugly duckling lessons: don’t judge his horrid noise! He saves Santa!!

“The Bell that Couldn’t Jingle” was a 1962 number from Paul Evans, penned by Burt Bacharach. This time the handicapped kid gets a magic fix. And probably got an office job with people who invited him to their backyard bar-be-cues. Bobby Vinton tried this in 1964 with more talent (the same year The Baby Dolls swaddled it in bubble gum), Bobby Helms takes it down to country moroseness in ’65, then the Burt Bacharach Singers make a mess of it in 1968 (the same year Herb Alpert’s players enfolds it into cartoon fun)… hoo-boy let’s leave it at that.

Okay, okay ONE more. (It’s who i am.) The diva-like devotion to the over-orchestrated overly serious Catherine McKinnon version out-camps them all. Are you serious?! Just listen:

Void

Sometimes you get no Xmas presents ‘cuz you get no food, clothing, or shelter.

Poverty is pretty sad, pretty harmonic, and pretty syncopated in “Christmas Came Just the Same,” a smarmy Whoville country ballad that makes ‘came’ several unnecessary syllables. James Leo Oliver delivers as per usual.

Homeless homilies pepper the slightly more musical “I Have No Gifts” from Michael J Thoma. This tootles off the country pathos into easy listening with some unstoppable oboe. Spoiler: this song is the gift.

WAR! the stand(down)

Irony cuts both ways. While touting one idea beyond the pale, the humorist wishes to make the point that said idea is beyond okay. Yet, the sis and the boom and the bah waggle it in our face so tantalizingly. When you use sarcasm, first dig two graves.

Watkins & The Rapiers paint a pretty worst case scenario about when to wish what to whom with “Are You Man Enough (To Say Merry Christmas)?” The digs are torturous with the soft jazzy folk (Salvation Army influenced).

Horrible sopranos aren’t all tributes to Mike Douglas’s Mrs. Miller, but Dysfunctional Family featuring Metropolitan Melinda taking on the left with “Politically Correct Christmas” sure takes me back. This song gets made over for the Christian right here and there, but who’s getting poked after all?

It’s All Relative, the good stuff

I started out this month looking to compare Christmas novelty songs about loving family and loathing family. I’m going to have to admit the good outweighs the bad in quantity and quality. So let’s cap off the festivities with some coolcoolcool numbers i’ll listen to more than once.

Gene Wang leads a jazz ensemble in “Christmas Means Family” that knows how to set a mood. And the mood is good.

Here’s some new age dance music. The pagan party spirit of “Christmas in Your Family’s Arms” makes me think i can dance (i can’t really). Cheryl Hillier haunts my visions of sugarplums.

Pop country leaves me feelin’ empty inside. So imagine my surprise that Stephen Day’s “Family Christmas” uplifts me. Is it the blues underlying the tempo? Is it the irreverent folk? Gotta recommend.

Luigi Scaglione (later known by his performing name “Lou Monte”) hit with ‘Bella Notte’ and ‘Darktown Strutters’ Ball’ and is even known to Christmas novelty with ‘Dominick the Donkey.’ But “Christmas at Our House” is a saucy meatball of ethnic hammery. 1960 we all wished our family was that loving and close. Joe Dolce (the ‘Shaddup You Face’ guy) covers this even more sweetly (in 1981 when racism was more funny).

It’s All Relative, lovelovelove

If love had a center, it should be in the home. All the possibilities of growth, hope, being begin in a happy warm hearth. Christmas, we could wish, is the opportunity to express, share, and achieve the pinnacle of that completion.

Patch the Pirate (?!) creates a musical cartoon for the ears with “Christmas at Our House,” a religious orgasm of happy family time. Quaint kidsong.

Errol Brown electro-R+Bs “Family Christmas Time” to the pinnacle of ecstacy. Family is it, man. Nuthin’ better.

Soaring above the mundanity Ann Hampton Calloway (and sis Liz) praise and ask “God Bless My Family.” Not so much with the Christmas gathering, but a pretty good contribution to the spirit of the holiday.

It’s All Relative, past perfect

The best families are the ones we frame up in gauzy, filmy memories. Were they ever so golden? Who cares, nostalgia makes us real!

Peter Scales picks and grins “Christmas with Our Family” as a tribute to yesteryear. This alt folk gazes through amber to see great food, presents, and family in rosy hues. Sigh.

Poorly tracked so that the guitar drowns out the vocals (thank you) Dave Seely unthaws 1966 to jazz croon “The Family Christmas.” Sounds like a stroke.

The Four Preps are really old but sing about being young. Recall “The Family Time of Year” with them on the oldy oldies wavelength with old fashioned sentiment and expression that doesn’t mean much any more.

A real purdy piano noodle from Silent Film enlarges the past with “Christmas at Our House.” Then the violin and… i’m a mess! Poetic.