Santa Jobs: myth

On the other hand, Santa seeming omnipresent may overload our senses to the point whereas the small minded may discount any of his presence due to his inconceivability.

The Nay-Santers. The dis-en-sant-ed. The incomplete people.

A few songs, then, out of pity, for those deniers who believe Santa’s job is to be nothing.

Sigh.

BLUE ALERT. Nick Helm, comically competing on some singing show, lets his anger out a crack at the revelation that “There Ain’t No Fucking Santa Claus.” Hard rocking, hard feelings.

BLUE ALERT. Driller profanely rages metal against the milk and cookies with their “There’s No Santa Claus.” Even though he doesn’t exist, i think they’d kill him. Jesus, too.

BLUE ALERT. Trick Daddy raps the quandary colorfully with “Ain’t No Santa.” Hrm, maybe this is just a PSA directing kids to believe or end up dead nigas.

Perhaps too drunk to realize what they’re saying The Damned report “There Ain’t No Sanity Clause.” We may have crossed over into more personal garage rock issues.

Let’s stay prog rock and explore the possibility that we’ve merely misplaced the Wise Winterman. Captain Beefheart inspects whether or not “There’s No Santa on the Evening Stage.” It’s the blues.

Jazzy blues also come from Russ Lorenson singing a Barry Manilow number “I Guess there Ain’t No Santa Claus.” I think he’s confusing Santa with basic happiness. …well, that ain’t wrong.

Ron Holden and the Thunderbirds got it figured out. When they ask “Who Sez There Ain’t No Santy Claus?” they mean: who wants to have a horrible, empty life spiraling downward into doom. Rock the doo wop here and BELIEVE.

 

Christmas Every Day: December (for reals)

Some stalwarts want the Christ back in Christmas, but talking in code has always helped the faithful keep track of who really knows what. December is a wink and a nod to you-know-who you-know-when (and if you don’t, i’m not telling).

For example “The Last Month of Year” is a fine gospel number represented by many great groups. It lets you know when J-Baby arrived. Of the many elevating versions i like the reincarnated Elvis, Chris Isaak, howlin’ on it.

Reverently, Cyndi Lauper (really!) croons to the baby “December Child.” Don’t fall asleep yet….

Obliquely, “One Day in December” takes us around the world celebrating that one holiday. If you don’t the one, Sid the Science Kid can clue you.

Rooftop uses modulated rap to get out his message: “This December” will no longer be camouflaged as a month, it’s about that King of Kings guy.

Taking off The Four Season’s ‘Oh, What a Night’ funny Christian rockers AplogetiX play parodeus with the vagaries of day and year on the Holy Bearing with “December 5 or 6 B.C.” Wry, guys.

More Christian rock from Collective Soul, who feel the need to wrap their questioning search for faith in parable and riddle. “December” rattles about like a prancing pony-led carriage..

Ready to jive, hepcats? Well, The Flashcats count it down to “December 25” set to a happenin’ bit of music you might recognize. This swings a bit more secular… but, baby, it swings! And check out the killer compilation album Mambo Santa Mambo.

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Baby It’s Cold: 1953 charcoal ‘n chalk

The fusion of black doo wop and country swing hasn’t quite happened to make bona fide rock ‘n’ roll yet. So let’s check out the unsegregated part of town. It’s pretty swell.

One of the biggest deals in music overall, and a hugely successful ‘crossover’ to the white side of the music world, Louis Armstrong, churned out hits in the ’20s and ’30s. By 1953 his “Christmas Night in Harlem” and “Cool Yule” are nice enough tunes by that old guy.

For those who dig their blues unadulterated with that fancy jazz syncopation, Lightning Hopkins tears himself up for “Merry Christmas.” Damn. Look out, whites.

Phil Moore was a movie studio style acceptable black man. His Phil Moore Four had that ‘in’ and were able to keep from bleaching their sound, yet play to everyone. “The Blink Before Christmas,” b/w “Chinchy Old Scrooge” lay down the black and raise up the Beat (Generation). Xmas don’t get much cooler.

The most acceptable black man in music, Nat King Cole, plays it completely mainstream with “The Little Boy That Santa Claus Forgot” (featured in the documentary ‘Jingle Bell Rocks‘) (Flipside “Mrs. Santa Claus“). Poor may be read as code for black, but with NKC race is hardly an issue.

Here on the cusp of rock ‘n’ roll, we simply must give doo wop its due. 1953 is early in the meteoric rise of The Moonglows to pop iconography. Still covering Doris Day and the McGuire Sisters, they slip in some danceable yule tunes:  “Just a Lonely Christmas” and–it should be on everyone’s top twenty of happenin’ Santa songs–“Hey Santa Claus.” Dig THAT.

Country music generally recycles holiday standards tried and true from the previous decade (or century). But as we approach nascent RnR, and rockabilly is nearing the middle class, young and old are hearkening to Nashville’s original noises.

Korean War soldier Faron Young took over, when Eddie Fisher was discharged, as Army pop songster. His yodeling honky tonkin’ “You’re the Angel on My Christmas Tree” was recorded before his discharge a year later. Smooth and sultry.

Standing up for The Grand Ole Opry, Red Foley puts cowboy range (not quite a yodel up and down the octaves) with “Put Christ Back into Christmas.” Hey, it’s not just the 21st Century that disregards religious sanctity!

But, if you want to hear rock ‘n’ roll about to happen, check out Hank Snow with “The Reindeer Boogie.” The Yodeling Ranger clawed his way up to Nashville from Nova Scotia (steer clear of his horrific bio if you can) and has been credited with putting Elvis on that stage. Get your fast dancing shoes on.

A Month of Love: Ebonaires

After WWII young men began to take nothing for granted, but find their own way… you know the greatest or next to generation or sumpin. Doo wop grew out of this pushiness. Jazz and blues came together in perfect harmony, keeping time on the downbeat. It’s a leader of musical styles, the grampa of R&B.

I’d tell you more about the Ebonaires if i could. Their song “Love for Christmas” will speak for them. It’s from the early ’50s.