A world of cartoon ducks and parakeets sing their own Christmas songs, but not about ducks and tweety-birds–only about their damaged character pathologies/speech impediments.
What about Nativity bird-songs, you say?
Here’s one i almost missed: Brad Paisley has an oddity entitled “Penguin, James Penguin.” It’s country comedy cut into the shape of a spy spoof featuring a secret agent bird. No, i didn’t believe it either.
Bonnie Whitehurst sings “Snowflake, the Snow Owl.” This is based on the children’s book ‘Snowflake’s Christmas Magic’ about how Santa has animal help to deliver all the presents. Sounds like pagan witchcraft with familiars, if you ask me.
“Mourning Dove” purports to be a carolling hymn in the old style. The Stairwell Carollers carry on like they’re reverently upset about the whole holiday. Prepare to be sadly lulled.
Bend an ear, instead to The Ole Timey Down Home Country Red State Update Podcast’s tale of the pesky “Christmas Crow,” sung by Adrian Rose Leonard. Learn the lesson and pass it along. Or wait for the bird beating at the end.
Who wants to dance to that new fangled music? You know, that hard-driving black soul with a harmonious chorus? That poor person country swing with a whiskey bottle beat?
The Youngsters begin to turn our tried and true doo wop into rhythm and blues. In 1955 they put out ‘Don’t Fall in Love Too Soon’ and ‘Shattered Dreams.’ By 1956 they have reususcitated 1929’s “Christmas in Jail.” If it walks like a rock and quacks like a roll…
Long Island white guys tried on that old doo wop sound as The Echoes in ’55. With the help of Gee Records, as The Debonairs, they released the single “Christmas Time/Crazy Santa Claus.” It’s measured and slick and trying too hard. But it’s a gas.
I’m not partial to covers of standards regardless of the funk that gets brung, but “Rudolph the Red-Nosed Reindeer” by The Cadillacs crafts something R&B without slick bells and whistles. This is the raw power of cool, the soul of rock ‘n’ roll.
Country music this decade keeps toying with a hard backbeat. Unable to break into Sun Records, Cordell Jackson starts her own label to sing and produce her own music including “Rock and Roll Christmas” and “Beboppers’ Christmas.” Do you feel the power of Elvis compel you? Well, honky tonk you too.
Brenda Lee is 10 years old in 1956. The shorty poor Atlantan sang for candy at the neighborhood store, and worked up to radio shows. She will use her country rhythm later to rule pop/rock in the ’60s. Here she sings from her second single of all time: “Christy Christmas” backed by my favorite poverty-aggressive Christmas song “I’m Gonna Lasso Santa Claus.”
The fusion of black doo wop and country swing hasn’t quite happened to make bona fide rock ‘n’ roll yet. So let’s check out the unsegregated part of town. It’s pretty swell.
One of the biggest deals in music overall, and a hugely successful ‘crossover’ to the white side of the music world, Louis Armstrong, churned out hits in the ’20s and ’30s. By 1953 his “Christmas Night in Harlem” and “Cool Yule” are nice enough tunes by that old guy.
For those who dig their blues unadulterated with that fancy jazz syncopation, Lightning Hopkins tears himself up for “Merry Christmas.” Damn. Look out, whites.
Phil Moore was a movie studio style acceptable black man. His Phil Moore Four had that ‘in’ and were able to keep from bleaching their sound, yet play to everyone. “The Blink Before Christmas,” b/w “Chinchy Old Scrooge” lay down the black and raise up the Beat (Generation). Xmas don’t get much cooler.
The most acceptable black man in music, Nat King Cole, plays it completely mainstream with “The Little Boy That Santa Claus Forgot” (featured in the documentary ‘Jingle Bell Rocks‘) (Flipside “Mrs. Santa Claus“). Poor may be read as code for black, but with NKC race is hardly an issue.
Here on the cusp of rock ‘n’ roll, we simply must give doo wop its due. 1953 is early in the meteoric rise of The Moonglows to pop iconography. Still covering Doris Day and the McGuire Sisters, they slip in some danceable yule tunes: “Just a Lonely Christmas” and–it should be on everyone’s top twenty of happenin’ Santa songs–“Hey Santa Claus.” Dig THAT.
Country music generally recycles holiday standards tried and true from the previous decade (or century). But as we approach nascent RnR, and rockabilly is nearing the middle class, young and old are hearkening to Nashville’s original noises.
Korean War soldier Faron Young took over, when Eddie Fisher was discharged, as Army pop songster. His yodeling honky tonkin’ “You’re the Angel on My Christmas Tree” was recorded before his discharge a year later. Smooth and sultry.
Standing up for The Grand Ole Opry, Red Foley puts cowboy range (not quite a yodel up and down the octaves) with “Put Christ Back into Christmas.” Hey, it’s not just the 21st Century that disregards religious sanctity!
But, if you want to hear rock ‘n’ roll about to happen, check out Hank Snow with “The Reindeer Boogie.” The Yodeling Ranger clawed his way up to Nashville from Nova Scotia (steer clear of his horrific bio if you can) and has been credited with putting Elvis on that stage. Get your fast dancing shoes on.
Overlooked Kentuckian folk singer Chuck Picklesimer has a killer Christmas album all lovers of novelty must seek out: Dead Ninja Christmas.
Words not do him right good. You gotta hear him to believe him. When you pair his word salad with this ADHD video cobbled together by his own talented hands, however, it’s Katie, bar the door!
The Road Kill Band are sad dads (still with the dream of a band) (playing for ungrateful drunks at the American Legion Hall). They don’t actually kill the deer they run over (in song) but wish they had in “Road Kill Christmas.”
Good listen.
Now there was a cool novelty ’60s downer by the Everly Brothers that i noted last Christmas Eve. Hate to repeat myself…
Technically i don’t if i mention the same song by Dawn McCarthy and Bonny “Prince” Billy; except they basically mimic it.
American Mars get damn folked with this tune as well, channeling Dylan. Still too close.
But Trucker Christmas featuring Dominik Plangger & Claudia Fenzl countrify this maudlin melody putting it to work for the lonely sixteen-wheelers everywhere on that special night. Ladies and generic men, “Christmas Eve Can Kill You.” Damn, boy.
Saved the best shit for last. Red Peters is often as funny as an Asperger’s ridden 1960s burlesque emcee. But his psychological passive-aggressive pastiche of Walter Brennan (you don’t have to suffer through the original tear-jerking tune) dealing with ungrateful grown kids at Christmas is a hoot and a holler and a half.
Please enjoy “You Ain’t Gettin’ Shit for Christmas.” It’s funny. I shit you not.
Don’t forget now, we’re locking elbows with the lowest common denominators of society: the profane. Life is terrible. What’re ya gonna do? Curse!
So watch down your nose Wish Crosby and Flo Murphy getting their Christmas from the Family on with “Shitty Shaggin’ Christmas.” They’re a regular Archie and Edith bunker three rungs down the trailer park.
The big star in Santa Robots is from the Matt Groening cartoon Futurama. Despite the show’s musicality, however, there’s no good santa-is-a-robot song from the series.
So here’s Bear Ron’s tribute to the show’s murderous Kringle: “Sci Fi Santa.” It’s got that unplugged end-of-the-world country music feel to it. (Not sure why robo-claus needs a robo-pup, though.)
