Ringers: Shadrack

Anybody remember Loretta Lynn’s alternative to Rudolph “Shadrack the Black Reindeer“? This prankster just wants a chance, he’s the fastest ever was! This Black doesn’t want to put anyone outta work, though. Turns out the team works best integrated. Holy Toledo.

Take a time travel from 1974 to 2012 before you’re done and check David Verity‘s ticktockin’ soft rock version.

Ringers: Leroy

Anti-racist parody “Leroy and Roosevelt Reindeer” features the only black members of Santa’s crew pushing the Caddy from the back. The raucous background laughter cues us in to the jokes. The R+B rhythms help, though.

Joe Diffie wrote novelty country reindeer songs when novelty country reindeer songs weren’t cool. 1995’s “Leroy the Redneck Reindeer” placed well on Billboard’s Country Singles chart. It’s got gusto, but the humor is past its sell by date. Or maybe too many of these reindeer songs are yokel hokum.

Ringers: Bubba

A favorite epithet among the rednecks, Bubba sounds like a punchline. Just add sass. Naming a mighty magical mythical beast that creates comedy, no choice. Or does it?

Donald Pinkleton tries the Ray Stevens routine with “Bubba the Redneck Reindeer.” Better country song than hee-haw comedy.

Robert (‘Dr. Bob’) Blake slows country down to morose monotone with “Bubba the Buck-Toothed Reindeer.” This fill-in for Rudolph bites more than he can chew (get it?), but this Army vet surprises all of them by whipping them into shape. Huh?

X-claim: hello (pt. 3)

What’s up with greeting the holidays? Songwriters think this is some amusing apostrophe to the personification of an institution, or sumfen.

Gabriela Radu sings like an impatient child calling out “Hello Christmas.” But the sultry rhythms and slurring diva tones creep out the kidsong genre. Run, Christmas!

(Maybe) not as skin-crawly, Peter Joannou (Brighton’s Singing Barber) galumphs through “Hello Christmas” as a maudlin, inescapable hearkening to olden times in that old smokey lounge lost from a distant decade or two. Shiver me Decembers!

Thwp adds “Hello Christmas” to their chorus to let the calendar know they’re on to the imminence of that festivity. Kid rock that stinks of pop.

Aging dad band Robocalls (fronted by Roger Bogren) rocks the Kohl’s with “Hello Christmas.” Creaky and not fully fluent with English, they get it their best.

Les Fradkin may have been something a while ago, but his grandpop pop “Hello Christmas, Goodbye Year” is too measured and mannered to be the rock he’s looking for. Trying to be hip without breaking one.

Newlife Music reminds us in “Hello Christmas” that the King is born. A little gloria is interjected thusly and this indie pop falalas hither and yon. It’s engaging stuff, but light on lyrics for all its message.

Josh Ingyu uses “Hello Christmas!” as a rollicking pop intro to the whole year of holidays. My calendar says otherwise, but i threw it on the floor when i heard this stomper.

Myla Smith demurs in her coy country-band yummy “Hello, Christmas!” (Finally: full punctuation!) Her reticence is from being on the receiving end of cheating, so it’s a wonder she’s as perky as this. Got a real Dolly-warble going for her (that’s a good thing).

ad silentnitum, concatenated

Another Christmas without love is not simply another Christmas. It’s salt in the wound, a twist of the knife, a dump in the middle of the art museum.

Prince encores his “Another Lonely Christmas” with echoic haunting charm. When he says you’re the only one, it’s not like anyone else can say.

Tom Chaplin stiff upper lips “Another Lonely Christmas” with Britpop overtures and alto-hope. Did he say in Hell? Aww, wotta sweetie.

Ladies’ turn! Mean over-pops “Another Lonely Christmas (A Lady Christmas)” as if it’s all about the vocal range and not the emotions.

More affecting, Patty Blee (w/Ernie Trionfo)’s whiskey throated country strummer “Another Lonely Christmas Eve” barely makes its trembling way through the tough times.

Soul sets the sad scene in Aaron Skyy’s “Another Lonely Christmas.” Every instrument is set on weepy.

Country bummer is its own sub-genre, represented here by John Eddie’s “Another Lonely Christmas.” Heartfelt hokum.

Jackson Taylor’s “Another Lonely Christmas” is appropriately twangy country, yet the hint of zydeco makes me feel upbeat. The magic of music heals.