Category: country sort of

We gotta admit it, we define ourselves by our borders, and that exclude any of y’all that might be different, or attack us. Bottom line, it’s not our ingenuity, or industry, or even our entertainment business that makes us America. It’s our warlike response to every problem. Take arms! Drive back the doubts and fears with bullets! And honor those in bloody uniforms as the real Americans. The rest of us barely count.

Eric Homer Music sings us wise with “Christmas in America.” Soft, gentle country music with an urgent message about honor and stuff.

Jess Lee has a killer rehearsal in her garage with the boys for “Christmas in America” for the troops get the brunt of our patriotism. It seems to be a quid pro quo: you soldier boys have the burden of being away from home (not the proud duty of protecting the unprotected), so we will sing and stand and salute (ordinarily we’d not care too much). Fair trade? That’s what you get.

Ostensibly about the Newtown tragedy, David Lenett’s posting “An American Christmas” ramps us country rock to make a fine song that includes ‘those who wear our uniform.’ But it’s inclusive.

While we’re on the subject of bailing out Santa…

…of the many US milestones we might inaugurate a carol to, Wall Street seems too apt to pass up.

Watkins and the Rapiers fiddle up a folky grassy bit o’ blues with “Christmas at Occupy Wall Street.” It lands as a sentimental Old World reflection of the times. In this live recording the lads might be a bit in the bag, tho.

Phil Coley kicks up a lively country swing number with “Wall Street Christmas,” which oddly seems to counter current conservative trends and takes up an ironic everyman snark–Cut it out, congress! Danny Mack‘s version is slicker and thus less proletariat.

Bill Shipper minstrels the most Santa of tales: “Santa Needs a Bailout for Christmas.” Funny, timely, educational, snide–all-American!

Omar Gaudet tells us “Santa is an American.” Well, i didn’t want his job farmed out of country. Country pop; gum-smackin’ in fact.

The shimmy is a dance move wherein you hold your legs still then rotate axially along the vertebral column shaking your shoulders one at a time forward and back. It’s what strippers do to demonstrate their value, so i’m told.

The Embers point out the appropriate rock ‘n’ roll step with “Shimmy in a Winter Wonderland.” It’s a slight rock take off on the old standard, but it inspires.

The naughtier bits are unveiled by Julie Tussey with “Shimmy on Christmas Day,” It’s country/disco all in the name of love, man.

An kooky children’s version comes from Randy Sauer. “Shimmy Down the Chimney” can be danced to, but it’s a watcher’s guide how to tell who it is entering your house actually.

“Shimmy Down the Chimney (Fill up My Stocking)” by Alison Krauss combines the sultry with the uncomfortable. Look away. But do listen. I hear that disco again.

Wrapping up the alphabetical alignment of Santa’s helpers: Twinkle is just another elf. Rendered in Henderson Tapscott’s emotional alto warbling, however, “Twinkle the Christmas Elf” is a force to reckoned with, a good worker who makes a difference.

Teresa Hui plays “Strudel the Elf” in order to bring us a report of the working conditions at the North Pole. All she brings us however is a lesson in Deutsch. An a shared sense of how itchy it is to be an elf.

Corey Doak has the big tell-all about the elf-experience. What’s it take to become a toymaker? What’s downtime like? Grooming standards? “Scruffy the Elf” answers all your question. You may not like what he has to say, but you must hear him out. You may not want to look, though.

One of the more well known elf-types, recently, is Buddy from the fish out of water motion picture Elf. Well, like too many other sell-outs this got made into a B’way musical. In ran 57 performances and closed. It later played briefly in the West End, Seattle, and Halifax (where it broke box office records). It knew the end was near when it was re-imagined as an animated TV special with Jim Parsons.

Here, late in the show, is the pitch for a kids’ book to save the publishing company: “The Story of Buddy the Elf.” It is sung by Sebastian Arcelus and sounds like every other song in every other musical, right down to the percussive kicks by the chorus line built into the tune.

The Rambos cook up some Southern Gospel cum disco with “Christopher the Merry Christmas Elf.” This gets weird, gang. You may become proselytized.

What else is wrong with driving during the holidays… Oh yes, everyone else.

Rev. Vince Burke does karaoke (to ‘Winter Wonderland’) for his congregation with “Stuck in a Manila Traffic Jam.” He brings down the house. Or uplifts it. Not sure.

Even more fun, the Hollytones yodel comically with “Gridlock Christmas.” Roll down the windows and crank it up!