Category: Childrens

Presents of Mine: who dat for

The perfect gift aligns like love for just the right individual. Like when kids give you their lucky rock and beam proudly like it was a miracle.

Professor Steve has more than one relative when he ponders “A Present for My Uncle.” Kid bluegrass. It’s that kind of humor.

Imagination Movers suggest a Thank You, Kiss on the Cheek, or Read a Story when you “Give a Gift.” Cheap kids!  Wired up (Disney) kidrock.

Children with no money problems like Eloise from the 1950s books give more profligately. “Christmas Gifts from Eloise” is a jazzy showtune that misses 1% arrogance by THAT much.

Children with no logical relationship with the world (Curious George) give more insanely. Flying cars, yellow things, self-fastening pants… it never ends in “The Gift Song (Something as Special as You)” by Ken Stacey.

Staying silly, Lana Rae admits “I Bought My Catahoula a Goldfish” for Christmas. Pets for pets. Hope he feeds it. Antic kidsong.

The Cricketones give a financial directive with lots of big band yelling in “I’ve Got 18 Cents.” Seems like the tree gets the best present. (Smoking Mom and Dad get what they deserve.)

Presents of Mine: bad paper

How can anyone misconstrue the innocent notion of wrapping Christmas gifts?

Spongebob Square Pants (feat. Patrick) ruins the joy with their hyperactive hijinks in “Pretty Ribbons and Bows.” Hard rock screaming for the kiddos.

Shifinger have a whole ‘nother use for our product with “Xmas Paper up My Arse.” Be assured, it was out of absolute necessity. Colorful punk.

Dr. BLT (feat. Gary LaDuke) repurpose our topic with “Wrap It up,” which is not about paper at all–it’s about (shhh) protecting the gift below the belt. Not exactly blue bluesy folk.

ADHD time in the (un)wrapping dept. Porter Christensen’s “Bubble Wrap Rap” seems to be harmless white hip hop about a boy and his love of packaging. Then–fight scene!

DG also works that naughty idea with “Wrap It Like a Christmas Present.” Wandering rap full of double meanings. Possibly funny STD PA.

Nickolodeon (yeah, the pay cable channel people used to watch) warn us what might happen to all that disregarded wrapping paper afterwards with “Randall the Wrapping Paper Monster.” Run! Hide! Recycle!

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=q42ZotQ1Znw&t=71s

Presents of Mine: black shopping

Black Friday is traditionally the kickoff to Christmas shopping. It’s been a couple years since i trowled out Black Friday songs for Christmas. There have been some recent developments:

Harsh judgment from The Homeless Gospel Choir in the form of “Black Friday.” Alt, not gospel. Although prayers for the departed are included.

Real Digital Music ramps up the anger slightly for “Forget Black Friday Song!!” Listless rap; black sales don’t matter.

Rusty Cage (slightly BLUE) bebops cute kid music to underscore his deadly “Black Friday Song” message. Graphic imagery, but, y’know, y’tube.

TreeMendous Holiday Fun: Don’t DeForest Kelley

Well, it’s the afterwards you’ve been dreading. Fight for that tree, or someone will cart its carcas to the curb.

The Nutty Squirrels want to fight to convince you “Please Don’t Take Our Tree for Christmas.” But this jazz band 1960 stinker wants the tree to stay in the forest, with the nuts. Pee-yew.

The best way to keep Christmas in our hearts all year is “Don’t Take That Christmas Tree Just Yet.” Three Chord Monkey perk up their garage with a little country, and a lotta spirit.

Merry Christmas, little baby “Don’t Touch the Christmas Tree” ‘billys A Band in Seattle. Dendricide by infant is a problem up there i understand.

“Daddy, Don’t Take the Christmas Tree Down” wail the kids in John Dameron’s pop country song. No fair, they invoke God.

BLUE ALERT Earn Your Stories angrily defends the “Christmas Trees” with a punk-centered need to believe in something. Wait, that’s not punk–unless you’re really pissed about it.

Less seriously, Piedmont Songbag wants the night to go on forever. “Don’t Take the Stockings from the Tree” is lounge jazz of the awkwardly seductive sort. Baby, look out, he’s jealous!

It’s Christmas day in my house “‘Til My Christmas Tree Come Down” ululates Mighty Magical Pants. Kids jug band with just the right sappy enthusiasm. That dead brown thing is still up!

TreeMendous Holiday Fun: It’s Moving!

Now that we’re done with the Christmas tree, let’s get a pet. That’ll do it.

“There’s a Kitty Under the Christmas Tree” proclaims Tom Grant with some masterful jazz classical piano. Despite the fuzzy craziness, little threat to the tree exists at this time.

Tricia Cole sings “I’m Climbing up the Christmas Tree Neow!” as a cat, being predictable. Show tune with minimal damage.

The sense of doom is clear from the commencement of the electric kid rock of “Walter and the Christmas Tree.” But this time the damage is personal. Three bandaids.

Muskrat adds funny sfx to “The Cat Knocked Over the Christmas Tree” to punch up the oompah comedy. Doesn’t help the song, but the tree is done. So’s the TV.

Myke Ko rocks down like the cat knocks down. “Cat in the Christmas Tree” worries about not getting presents in the debris. What will Santa say?

Now there’s a dog! “Wags is Bouncing Around the Christmas Tree” is The Wiggles’ kidsong rocking cautionary tale. It’s fun, not dangerous.

Since dogs are more loyal, you can rely on them. Or at least you can trust in Rover Dangerfeld in his animated musical bragging “I’ll Never Do It on a Christmas Tree.” Softshoe musical fun.

Well dog my cats, Lion and Frog (feat. Mike Brookshire) ‘billy the pets about to “Untrim the Christmas Tree.” The tension is palpable. I give the tree a 50/50 chance on standing.

Leah White & the Magic Mirrors goes cats and dogs and beyond (lemurs, skunks) with some kidsong disco jazz in “Crazy Animals in My Christmas Tree.” That tree’s not going to last.

Cherry, the Resurrection Rabbit continues the Christian twisting of all things in “Bunnies Hoppin’ Around the Tree.” Kidsong featuring a painfully shrill falsetto.

Ranger T is wondering where the tree is. Turns out “T Rex Ate the Christmas Tree.” Here i thought it was a carnivore. Hey, maybe it was full of cats! Kidsong folk with humor.

TreeMendous Holiday Fun: Bauble’s Your Uncle

Specialize your tree with individual ornamentation. Fly your freak flag!

Rocking it, The Breezeway tell you the story of “The Ol’ Ornament 2014” from the bauble’s point of view. It’s whining, of course–about where it got put, on the backside. Kinda cool song.

Or just hang “Flags on the Christmas Tree” to honor the fallen, like Jesus. Leland Martin leans into that weepy fiddle to tug at your patriotic bone.

Just as redneck, Robin and Linda Williams folk up a storm with “Shotgun Shells on a Christmas Tree.” Um, it was ‘cuz they were poor, and the shells were red… for Christmas.

Kate Osburn has a different approach: grandchildren photos glued into handmade paper cutouts to “Decorate the Tree,” a strangely sultry and seductive jazz siren crooning tune.

More traditionally, Danny and Cindy Schneider go ’60s folk rock with “Candy Canes on the Tree.” Sweet!

“Nerdy Christmas Tree” from Losing Lara challenges you to reconsider the tree as a collection delivery system. Rocking folk.

One ‘ornament’ you might not have considered is the Christmas tree train that got laid out on the floor all the way around. Artese N Toad wring their hankies over “Daddy’s Old Train box 2007.” Then Schnitzel honky tonks “Christmas Tree Train” just right.

TreeMendous Holiday fun: I’m a Little Tree Potted

Part of Christmas growing up is wishing you could be the tree, just for a day. Oh, it’s not?

Great kids’ songs border on the creepy. “I Wanna be a Christmas Tree” from Vince Vance & the Valiants pounds out the fun of being adored with breathy hoarseness. Muck Sticky make this worse.

Jeff Sorg’s rockin’ kid song “I’m a Christmas Tree” isn’t especially creepy, how he wants kids to dress him up. Serviceable.

Kids’ assembly number time: “I’m Gonna Be Santa’s Tree” has some rousing jazz and teasing lyrics, but it’s all about how good a tree can be (i think).

In a case of mistaken identity, Little Rita Faye claims “I Fell Out of a Christmas Tree” ’cause she was born on Xmas Day. She’s not really a tree after all. Early (underage) rockabilly.

What’s that tree want? To go home with you! “The Christmas Tree That Ran Away” was a classic from The Peter Pan Caroleers, but check out the gospel take from John Baumgardner & The Paper Doll Baptists. Epic.

Anthropomorphic Snow Sculpture: abominable detour 2

Some classic rock n roll pays tribute to the Abominable Snowman.

The Copycats cash in on the monster rock trend with 1960’s “The Abominable Snowman.” Nice salsa beat with talking and screaming.

Nostalgic for the ragtime ’60s rock fusion, Family Animals make a party out of “The Abominable Snowman.” Sounds like a Scooby Doo chase scene that can’t stop dancing.

More gogo music from the Supermarionation British TV show The Thunderbirds. Their “The Abominable Snowman” is music hall jiggery pokery fun warning of what their adventures may come across. Brrr.

Anthropomorphic Snow Sculpture: abominable detour 1

Scary monsters may not come up much round Xmas time, but since Rankin & Bass’s 1964 TV special, we have a place for the Abominable Snowman in our holidays. I gotta be upfront and admit most Abominable Snowman songs don’t mention Christmas, but then ‘Frosty’ the song doesn’t either. And some of these are pretty good.

So let’s get the kid-friendly one out of the way. Krazy Kuzins hip hop their way through “The Abominable Snowman” which alludes to the aforementioned cartoon. Kids get to holler.

South Oxfordhsire Youth Music Group chorale up the myths with “Himalayan Abominable.” Jazz jumpin’ school assembly fun.

Big Block Sing Song has a samba hip hop “Abominable Snowman” song that simply rocks. Dance if you like.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZrIxlYPyTtQ

Anthropomorphic Snow Sculpture: kids 6

Dance Time!

We’ve previously been entertained by the Crew Cuts’ “Dance Mr. Snowman Dance.” And “Do the Snowman” by The Holleytones. They bear redux.

Let’s also admit to Randy Sauer’s valiant effort “Snowman Dance.” Electronic almost music.

Definitely let’s include Mahri Sherlock’s barnburner “Mr. Snowman Dance.” Fun for kids and other square dancers.

“Snowman Jump” is a regrettable standard for the toddlers. I like the ’70s near-disco edition here.

Teresa Jennings keeps it kiddie with her Plank Road Publishing’s “Rock ‘n’ Roll Snowman.” Good for intermediate school assemblies afraid of saying Merry Christmas everywhere.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1lHH2PiKExY