Category: Childrens

Sing a Song of Singing Songs: the big guy

Do we sing a song loud and proud, or do we aim it?

gerdenshed claims to be singing a “Santa’s Song,” but it’s mostly about beer.

Rubettes (feat. Alan Williams) ask you to sing along to their “Santa’s Song.” It’s just ho ho ho over and over. Let’s practice.

Similarly The Oak Ridge Boys offer Santa singing “Santa’s Song“–just the hos, ma’am.

I’m partial to the nihilism of Culture in Memoriam’s “Santa’s Song” (Ding Dong, with murder in his eye). I’ve sung to this one before. (They’re Swedes, so winter=death, y’know.)

The Ames Brothers “Sing a Song of Santa Claus.” It’s really ‘Sing a Song of Sixpence’ so if you’re prone to nursery rhymes, this one over-orchestrates just for you.

Sing a Song of Singing Songs: along for the song

Building a community out of song ain’t so easy. You have to ask.

Irving Oil has a corporate team-building video in which all their employees have to sing “Everyone’s Got a Christmas Song to Sing“–specifically, this one!

Todd McHatton, a Washington state treasure, has an indefinite one-of-a-kind style. This kids song/’70s rock/peoples’ anthem will beckon and distance you all at once. “Sing Along to The Christmas Song” may not be possible, but you’ll catch yourself swaying i bet to its randomness.

As Seen on TV: The Fairly Odd Parents

Although cancelled by Nickelodeon, this popular toon was resuscitated and is now the 2nd longest running cartoon series on that network (behind SpongeBob).

Musical numbers tend to be classy, rather than silly (perhaps due to the aged magical helpers).

Timmy apparently never watched that Elmo special and wishes for “Christmas Everyday” in an early episode, much to all’s dismay. Jazzy.

More comical, “Not on the List” is a symphonic tribute to all the kids’ regrets the day after. Frantic.

As Seen on TV: Lazy Town

This Icelanidic people-wearing-puppet-outfits oddity made its way to Nick Toons for a while, but creeped out kids with a hero who looks like the Captain America villain Batroc, and a bad guy handsome as Bruce Campbell.

Stephanie, the irrepressible eight-year-old never seen without a smile, sings “Jolly Holidays” and “I Love Christmas.” Believe (in exercise)!

As Seen on TV: SpongeBob SquarePants

The biggest moneymaker from Nickolodeon ever isn’t just a can of rocks shaken for the lovely sound it makes. It’s also musical.

The eighth season featured a all-singing formulaic story about Plankton taking over, blah blah. ‘It’s a SpongeBob Christmas!’ is stop motion which throws the surrealism out of whack but is otherwise serviceable. Stick to the album.

“Santa Has His Eye on Me” opens the story with just the right amount of repetitive mush and exposition.

These iconoclastic kid bits often push genres. Patrick the starfish’s “Pretty Ribbons and Bows” is a ’60s rock ‘splosion of ADHD fun.

Limp country from Sandy the Squirrel in “Ho Ho Hoedown.” I think i’ll stick to the better stuff.

The bad guy gets a real showtune carol in “Christmas is Mine.” Mwah ho ho ho.

The Brit pop anthem to kids “Don’t be a Jerk (It’s Christmas)” is the big hit, though. Falsetto ululate, all!

As Seen on TV: Dora the Explorer

If Carmen Sandiego can fool people into learning, surely the prepubescent Latina can as well.

Most of the ‘songs’ on the album Dora’s Christmas are either trad carols or children’s pap without any mention of any variation of any holiday.

Notable exceptions to our disappointment include the infrequently heard Espanol Christmas Eve carol “Nochebuena.” Just this much short of mariachi, but a bit of the fun.

If you know the show, you know the klepto ‘coon and his problems. So Dora’s “No Swiping on Christmas” should come as no surprise. Melodramatic interactive show tune! Shout answers to her for goodness’ sake. (And get that varmint some therapy; did you hear his excuse?)

As Seen on TV: Ed, Edd n Eddy

Naturalism is a form of theater that celebrates the bottom rung of humanity, illustrating and educating us to the indomitable human spirit despite adversity. Or makes us laugh at how stupid and ugly the poor are.

The suburban losers of this show at least have an Old World immigrant to think of as less than them. Rolf sings us the “Yeshmiyek Song” which, while not a reverse of Christmas, is a holiday favorite about food and hygiene from a mythical creature of a different land.

As Seen on TV: Gullah Gullah Island

The highest rated preschool show on Nickolodeon in the the ’90s was this critically acclaimed cultural heritage honorarium. Each show was full of songs, including the Xmas episode with Sea Island versions of classic carols.

But they did bless us with a short, sweet encore “Merry Christmas to Ya,” one of the few songs that allows it’s a show wishing an audience cheer.

As Seen on TV: Rugrats

Nine seasons with 2 spinoffs, but the kids who cared were grown and everyone else thought it was creepy. The holiday album Rugrats Holiday Classics is delivered after the original series ended. That’s why you probably haven’t heard of it.

It’s all half-asleep parodies milking the misheard lyric premise of stupid babies. Okay, a couple at least try.

“Rugrats Chanukah” is ‘The Dreidel Song’ with a cheap electronic keyboard honking at kvetching children.

“Heck, Why is Santa Always Jolly?” pokes fun at our Big Red Guy. Kids are so mean. To ‘Deck the Halls.’

1980s pop and lock rock marks “Oops! Santa Got Stuck!” about Santa ‘Up on the Rooftop’ while Chuckie jest gotsta go wee!

“Toys for the Girls” has Angelica bull-leading a female chorus celebrating the new baby, oddly enough. Maybe Jesus, maybe her baby brother (uhh, that was a miscarriage).