Category: Childrens

ël-No, the eleventh

Ask me, some horrid Bond villain might just target the holiday season and reduce humanity by a full fraction by doing away with Christmas. That could be a mastermindful thing.

Bratty children get moody when disappointed around present time. “I Wanna Cancel Christmas” by Ron Hamilton & Gary Emory (from the quite childish Peanut Butter Christmas) outlines the dastardly plans of the spoiled (for next year).

The web cartoon Dr. Monster features just such nefariosity when the Missile Toad takes on Frosty the Bro-Man in “Christmas is Cancelled.” Prick up yon ears, this kidsong masterpiece showcases our beloved Jack Douglass, so it’s got the steal of approval.

Vacuum

What else can we say about poverty enabled people being overlooked at Christmas? They’re so poor… they don’t know it.

Carly Jamison cries “Oh No Santa Claus” when her characters in her story suffer all year long, only to realize today’s different somehow.

Foxtails Brigade presents the drama of a little girl who witnesses everyone else enshrouded in merch, but in “Unfairness Awareness” she gets the nada.

Null Set

Almost worse than getting nothing for Christmas are the hollow gift receptacles.

Jessica Wiltz fronts some children who head bang to ’80s rock for their “Empty Stockings,” a cry of pain echoing from heel to toe.

More oddly ’90s sounding, D’modes feel guilt but also pain in their “Empty Stocking Blues.” Grouchy kidsong.

Almost Something

How bad do you have to be to be passed over by Santa? Do the math.

Merrill Leffmann leads the gang as they kid-culate what they can get away with in “I Hear a Lot About Santa.” Ragtime kidsong for the generations.

“Bad Little Boy” by Ray Stevens counts the sins like he’s sitting in the confessional. Kidsong but it ranges from pet torture to premeditating infanticide. It’s not exactly sung, but he’s not exactly repentant.

Baby It’s Coal: baby it’s you

Specific warnings to individuals about the natural consequences of coal in your stocking to naughtiness don’t come around often. It’s a blanket threat for allayouze to self reflect.

Jesse & the Hogg Brothers rage through the blues about how “Santa’s Got a Bag of Coal.” And they’ll tell you what you did, you ingrate.

“Box of Rocks,” by the Song Trust but attributed to kids (of all ages), is a fun kidsong about the letter to Santa tattling about that ketchup-wielding, Barbie-exploding sad excuse for a sibling.

Yee Haw-liday: hoedown

How do the cowboys celebrate Xmas? I don’t give a hoot, nanny!

Ray Schreiner, Tom Width, Aly Wepplo, Lisa Kotula & Joy Williams play around with the Paul Deiss kidsong “Santa’s Holiday Hoedown.” I’m sure they had grand fun making this.

The actual kidsong for your thrid graders to assemble sounds more like “Santa’s Holiday Hoedown.” There’s parts for the teachers, too.

More competition from “Holiday Hoedown.” Farm sounds now. That’s enough.

A brief earnest redo of “A Cowboy Christmas Ball” this time by Steven Spalding of Circle S Ministry. Not a rip-roaring time, exactly. (Or as good as Michael Martin Murphy‘s.)

‘It’s a Sponge Bob Christmas’ presents Carolyn Lawrence as Sandy for some ironic “Ho Ho Hoedown.” High spirits and higher voices.