Saint Nicholas may have been born seventeen centuries ago, so just celebrate at will.
“It’s Santa Claus’s Birthday” is that sort of number the Peter Pan Singers did under a variety of names. It’s lilting contagious fun, just like Christmas.
Category: Childrens
Born this Day, twenty (reindeer)
Despite the controversy over exactly when Rudolph was born, we may celebrate when our faith allows us.
From the guys that brought us Dancer, Prancer, and Nervous the happy reindeer (where we laughed at the disabled–ahh, 1960!) comes “The Happy Birthday Song.” Friends, if it’s singing reindeer, i’m in.
Born this Day, twelve
Back to kidsong complaint. Missoula funnyman Ednor Therriault goes by the frontman band name Bob Wire. In 2011 he collabbed with Chip Whitson to compile a pretty cool comedy song album Off White Christmas, with goodies like “My Birthday’s on Christmas.” Valid points are made about lazy relatives. C’mon, Mom!
Merry Criminals! mugging
Now for the rough stuff.
“Who Mugged Santa?” does result in some jolly leg cast and merry missing toys. This odd Welsh kidsong from Carlton Lawrence with some dub step beats pulls no punches, or banjo strums–but there’ll be a happy ending if you can just hang on.
Xmas Tech Support: Wi-Fi
Unlike local area networking (LAN) the wireless networking technologies of Wi-Fi have been trademarked. So now i have to capitalize that forever….
A couple years ago it seemed hilarious for little kids to parody the ‘Where are You Christmas?’ from ‘The Grinch’ with “Where are You Wi-Fi?” Most of these fame-grabs are pretty horrible. Here’s Aaron rehearsing his skit before the school assembly.
Xmas Tech Support: email
A handy dandy means of communique since the 1970s (for some), the elctronic-mail didn’t quite bury the USPS but it has become the default unfiltered word vomit for our age. Whatever you think–there it is! (It’s replacement is in the works.)
Rosie O’Donnell’s “I’m Gonna Email Santa” actually was a cover (duet) of little Billy Gilman’s hit(?) from 2000, aka “Santa.com.” Gareth Pritchard adds the honky tonk.
More giggly silly children’s drek from some Broadway lyricist sung by 13-year-old Kara Oates (voice of Dora the Explorer), “S.A.N.T.A. Dot Com” is all show tune (piercing, man, piercing).
Even worse is the so-called precociousness of Treypac McKaughan, who at not-quite-three, squalls “I Wrote an Email to Santa Claus.” I hope he asked for ADHD treatment.
Son of Hog gets the snotty kid routine down with “I’ll Just Send an Email to Santa,” a bouncy beerhall twist of sarcasm we can all sing along to.
Xmas Tech Support: fax
The future was ours in the ’80s with pagers and home videogames and… the telefacsimile. Now, like in Star Trek, messages could be beamed through wires to be recreated onto what seemed like paper for a lucky recipient miles away. Only a dollar five per page at the Kinkos to get that info to your landlord–don’t forget the cover sheet.
Some 1990s school assembly song touted this wild technology with pop dance party disco in “Fax the Facts.” It’s not your father’s letter to Santa!
Xmas Tech Support: jukebox
Not many years later, coin operated machines played the hits as those with silver selected them. (Although the first ones may have only unlocked the machinery so you could crank it yourself.)
Andy Beck and Brian Fisher continue to churn out the elementary school assembly holiday pageants with their “Jingle Bell Jukebox,” a jazzy fast-paced showtune for very high voices.
And a Party in a Pear Tree: birthday bash
Parties for Christmas! Parties for birthdays! How ’bout a party for Jesus’ cake’n’candles?!
Orange Kids’ Music ‘happy birthday’ the Jesus out of “Christmas Party!” a pop children’s celebration. Hosana and ice cream.
And a Party in a Pear Tree: left out
Who’s coming to your Xmas shindig? Probably not Frankenstein.
But first, a word on who you really shouldn’t invite. Dom Powell warns you that “Satan is coming to the Christmas Party.” In appropriate light metal, the metaphor rings the bell on bad actors who don’t dig what you’re trying unironically to celebrate.
A Peter Pan Players holiday album Monster Christmas Mash (1974??) follows the Universal Classic Monsters (post Bobby Pickett mashing) as they attempt to integrate into Christianity–but learn their wanting to was all the goodness they ever needed. Or something. The album is bedeviled with silly story, but contains a kids’/Dixieland show stopper from the man-of-many-parts Frankenstein: “Nobody Ever Asked Me to a Christmas Party.” Who would Jesus host?