Category: Childrens

Yee Haw-liday: hoedown

How do the cowboys celebrate Xmas? I don’t give a hoot, nanny!

Ray Schreiner, Tom Width, Aly Wepplo, Lisa Kotula & Joy Williams play around with the Paul Deiss kidsong “Santa’s Holiday Hoedown.” I’m sure they had grand fun making this.

The actual kidsong for your thrid graders to assemble sounds more like “Santa’s Holiday Hoedown.” There’s parts for the teachers, too.

More competition from “Holiday Hoedown.” Farm sounds now. That’s enough.

A brief earnest redo of “A Cowboy Christmas Ball” this time by Steven Spalding of Circle S Ministry. Not a rip-roaring time, exactly. (Or as good as Michael Martin Murphy‘s.)

‘It’s a Sponge Bob Christmas’ presents Carolyn Lawrence as Sandy for some ironic “Ho Ho Hoedown.” High spirits and higher voices.

Xmas Tech Support: Wi-Fi

Unlike local area networking (LAN) the wireless networking technologies of Wi-Fi have been trademarked. So now i have to capitalize that forever….

A couple years ago it seemed hilarious for little kids to parody the ‘Where are You Christmas?’ from ‘The Grinch’ with “Where are You Wi-Fi?” Most of these fame-grabs are pretty horrible. Here’s Aaron rehearsing his skit before the school assembly.

Xmas Tech Support: email

A handy dandy means of communique since the 1970s (for some), the elctronic-mail didn’t quite bury the USPS but it has become the default unfiltered word vomit for our age. Whatever you think–there it is! (It’s replacement is in the works.)

Rosie O’Donnell’s “I’m Gonna Email Santa” actually was a cover (duet) of little Billy Gilman’s hit(?) from 2000, aka “Santa.com.” Gareth Pritchard adds the honky tonk.

More giggly silly children’s drek from some Broadway lyricist sung by 13-year-old Kara Oates (voice of Dora the Explorer), “S.A.N.T.A. Dot Com” is all show tune (piercing, man, piercing).

Even worse is the so-called precociousness of Treypac McKaughan, who at not-quite-three, squalls “I Wrote an Email to Santa Claus.” I hope he asked for ADHD treatment.

Son of Hog gets the snotty kid routine down with “I’ll Just Send an Email to Santa,” a bouncy beerhall twist of sarcasm we can all sing along to.

Xmas Tech Support: fax

The future was ours in the ’80s with pagers and home videogames and… the telefacsimile. Now, like in Star Trek, messages could be beamed through wires to be recreated onto what seemed like paper for a lucky recipient miles away. Only a dollar five per page at the Kinkos to get that info to your landlord–don’t forget the cover sheet.

Some 1990s school assembly song touted this wild technology with pop dance party disco in “Fax the Facts.” It’s not your father’s letter to Santa!

Xmas Tech Support: jukebox

Not many years later, coin operated machines played the hits as those with silver selected them. (Although the first ones may have only unlocked the machinery so you could crank it yourself.)

Andy Beck and Brian Fisher continue to churn out the elementary school assembly holiday pageants with their “Jingle Bell Jukebox,” a jazzy fast-paced showtune for very high voices.