Year-round Yuletide oddities
Almost worse than getting nothing for Christmas are the hollow gift receptacles.
Jessica Wiltz fronts some children who head bang to ’80s rock for their “Empty Stockings,” a cry of pain echoing from heel to toe.
More oddly ’90s sounding, D’modes feel guilt but also pain in their “Empty Stocking Blues.” Grouchy kidsong.
How bad do you have to be to be passed over by Santa? Do the math.
Merrill Leffmann leads the gang as they kid-culate what they can get away with in “I Hear a Lot About Santa.” Ragtime kidsong for the generations.
“Bad Little Boy” by Ray Stevens counts the sins like he’s sitting in the confessional. Kidsong but it ranges from pet torture to premeditating infanticide. It’s not exactly sung, but he’s not exactly repentant.
Specific warnings to individuals about the natural consequences of coal in your stocking to naughtiness don’t come around often. It’s a blanket threat for allayouze to self reflect.
Jesse & the Hogg Brothers rage through the blues about how “Santa’s Got a Bag of Coal.” And they’ll tell you what you did, you ingrate.
“Box of Rocks,” by the Song Trust but attributed to kids (of all ages), is a fun kidsong about the letter to Santa tattling about that ketchup-wielding, Barbie-exploding sad excuse for a sibling.
What’s a cowboy want for Xmas? A pony!
“Lonesome Little Cowboy” changes his country pickin’ mind and asks Santa for a missing cowboy dad in place of the stallion. Reckless Kelly plucks the heartstrings as well as the boxstrings.
Brian Kinder’s kidsongs include a request for cowboy get-up in “Dear Santa.” And a guitar, so that kind of cowboy.
How do the cowboys celebrate Xmas? I don’t give a hoot, nanny!
Ray Schreiner, Tom Width, Aly Wepplo, Lisa Kotula & Joy Williams play around with the Paul Deiss kidsong “Santa’s Holiday Hoedown.” I’m sure they had grand fun making this.
The actual kidsong for your thrid graders to assemble sounds more like “Santa’s Holiday Hoedown.” There’s parts for the teachers, too.
More competition from “Holiday Hoedown.” Farm sounds now. That’s enough.
A brief earnest redo of “A Cowboy Christmas Ball” this time by Steven Spalding of Circle S Ministry. Not a rip-roaring time, exactly. (Or as good as Michael Martin Murphy‘s.)
‘It’s a Sponge Bob Christmas’ presents Carolyn Lawrence as Sandy for some ironic “Ho Ho Hoedown.” High spirits and higher voices.
Saint Nicholas may have been born seventeen centuries ago, so just celebrate at will.
“It’s Santa Claus’s Birthday” is that sort of number the Peter Pan Singers did under a variety of names. It’s lilting contagious fun, just like Christmas.
Despite the controversy over exactly when Rudolph was born, we may celebrate when our faith allows us.
From the guys that brought us Dancer, Prancer, and Nervous the happy reindeer (where we laughed at the disabled–ahh, 1960!) comes “The Happy Birthday Song.” Friends, if it’s singing reindeer, i’m in.
Back to kidsong complaint. Missoula funnyman Ednor Therriault goes by the frontman band name Bob Wire. In 2011 he collabbed with Chip Whitson to compile a pretty cool comedy song album Off White Christmas, with goodies like “My Birthday’s on Christmas.” Valid points are made about lazy relatives. C’mon, Mom!
Now for the rough stuff.
“Who Mugged Santa?” does result in some jolly leg cast and merry missing toys. This odd Welsh kidsong from Carlton Lawrence with some dub step beats pulls no punches, or banjo strums–but there’ll be a happy ending if you can just hang on.
Unlike local area networking (LAN) the wireless networking technologies of Wi-Fi have been trademarked. So now i have to capitalize that forever….
A couple years ago it seemed hilarious for little kids to parody the ‘Where are You Christmas?’ from ‘The Grinch’ with “Where are You Wi-Fi?” Most of these fame-grabs are pretty horrible. Here’s Aaron rehearsing his skit before the school assembly.