Santa Jobs: alternative (BLUE ALERT still)

Let’s get with the 21st and consider the LGBTQ alternatives! Is Santa stuck in a rut, or is he experimental at all?

Daveo Falaveo updates old heater Eartha with his “Santa Baby.” Seems to work–except the lip-sync (what song is that guy singing?!).

Just as predictably, Parody Dummy regales us with ‘funny’ falsettos and “Santa is Queer” (from Wham’s ‘Last Year’). Skip the first minute of pre-music. Or all of it.

Slightly funnier, but blessedly shorter, Larry the Cable Guy brings forth a 15 second “The First Queer Santy Claus” to the tune of ‘First Noel.’ Hee haw.

Wooden Steel belabors the comedy out of “Santa Turned My Boyfriend Gay.” This is presented as an ‘improv’ song. Un-improv-ed, if you ask me. Despite the tacked on gender empowerment, it stoops to poo poo.

Although Kip Addotta does this (it’s on the Big Dr. Demento Xmas Collection), i prefer Standstill’s “I Saw Daddy Kissing Santa Claus” ’cause it’s raw (appropriately punk) and has a Seinfeld reference. (Yes, i like it even more than RuPaul‘s throaty ur-diva bit.)

Much happier to out the old guy is Uncle’s Institution garage chortling “Santa Claus is Gay.” These polar scholars reel from tolerance to name-calling on some German TV show.

Too many of these songs have been repressed, so let me just add a couple more from my own collection  (despite their sad association of gay with pedophilia):

The Go-Go Boys are unabashed queer parodists. Off their album Gay Apparel Xmas Songs from somewhere in the ’90s check out “Chickenhawk is Coming to Town.” Fiendishly clever, with a jazzy piano.

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Unintentionally uplifting are The Cherry Poppin’ Daddies from a 1998 KROQ Christmas collection with “Butch the Gay Santa Claus.” It’s a party in your pants.

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Chanukah: Five & counting…

The Festival of Lights has been around longer than Christmas, hence has more musical versions.

Ted Wulfers’ “The Hanukkah Blues” retells it like it is. The Chosen Peoples know the Blues.
Jazz usually interprets ‘Hanukkah O Hanukkah’ or one of the standards. For that Vince Guaraldi sound, check out the smooth “Hanukkah’s Song” by the Dennis Angel Band.
A Rock ‘N Roll Hanukkah” comes from the musical ‘That Time of the Year,’ lyrics by Laurence Holzman & Felicia Needleman; performed by Thom Christopher Warren & A.J. Irvin. Meh, some roofs may have been slightly raised. “Hanukkah Rocks” by Gefilte Joe and the Fish slams harder, but is showing signs of age. Check out the novelty vinyl!
Lauren Meyer’s “A Good Old Down Home Country Chanukah” pokes as much at hee haw music as at her own faith. She’s fun.
Quieter country folk is accomplished by Doni Zasloff singing “Eight.” She’s got some kinda weird pop band with a mission.
But her album Chanukah Fever reads as kid pop.
4fOrDy1 yells out “Chanukah (Rap Remix)” keeping it real. I guess. This may recall the old chetnut “Hanukkah Homeboy” by Doc Mo She. But that’s from back when Dr. Demento had a radio show… on the airwaves… on FM. Still the video is achla.
Rave electronica looks like Matisyahu’s “Happy Hanukkah.” Holy moley.
Ultimately The Seattle Mens’ Chorus put it together for “Boogie Woogie Chanukah.” Here’s a musical journey through the holiday. You’ll laugh, you’ll cry, you’ll check your watch. Rest assured, it’s shorter than eight nights.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=sgaOdiDK7hA

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