Shopping for Christmas means parking for Christmas.
Sad news show filler “Parking Around the Shopping Mall” features Barry Mitchell and an accordion. You can probably imagine funnier.
Nearing the bottom of the barrel is more overproduced Bob Rivers. “Parking Spaces” is another sneaky squeeze of humor from the old grandmaster. At least it takes music from ‘Wenceslas,’ which few enough caroldies do.
Better than last-minute rush stress, parking lots are suited for loitering. Cut the deck on Mark Tolstrup and Dale Haskell singing the aitch out of the blues in “Christmas Eve in a Liquor Store Parking Lot.” Money makes dreams come true….
Grey is not simply indistinct and neutral: it’s camouflage.
“Combat Grey (A Christmas Song)” by Weekend Duty tells how Santa’s flying in an F-16 because that’s cool and ‘Merican and stuff.
The Not Marys equate the grey with urban insignificance in their “Grey Christmas (Christmas in the City Vol. 2).” It’s alt punk/folk with a whispery female vocal (Allison Craig) that trails around the scales like an acid trip.
I attempted to avoid the Blues when we covered the color blue, but here i’m drawn to King Coleman screamin’ down the Blues with “Blue Grey Christmas.” Now i don’t suppose this harkens back to the Civil War… so i guess i’ll admit that it ain’t white, it ain’t black, and it IS the blues! Wild, man, wild.
The Catcher in the Rye, ‘The King and I,’ I Love Lucy, the 22nd Amendment (Pres. term limit), color TV, Julius and Ethel Rosenberg, ‘The Day the Earth Stood Still,’ Truman fires MacArthur, Dennis the Menace, Perry Como and Tony Bennett….
Yes… music’s all over the place as much as the USA is. Les Paul and Mary Ford break into the top ten and country music gets a boost. That Hank Williams guy is hittin’ it with ‘Hey, Good Lookin” and ‘Cold, Cold Heart.’ It starts to sound a little raucous in fact, with ‘The Shotgun Boogie’ (Tennessee Ernie Ford) and ‘Hot Rod Race’ (placing in Billboard’s Country Top Ten by four different artists). Ernest Tubb continues his ‘Blue Christmas’ sales from last year (the song first came out in 1948–no Elvis version until 1957). But may i include the first recording of Benjamin ‘Tex’ Logan’s “Christmas Time’s A-Comin‘” by Bill Monroe in full High Lonesome mode?
Country music honored the po’ white folks. For black ‘uns, gotta have the blues. Jimmy Witherspoon really spells out the problems with being poor and not white in “I Really Hate to See Xmas Come Around.” Guy can’t even pawn a radio.
Alex Ford (Aleck Miller) piggybacked off John Lee Curtis Williams’s harmonica howling in Chicago back in the ’40s by taking the same stage name: Sonny Boy Williamson (no ASCAP helping out then). Our SBW survived into the ’50s and went on to back up The Yardbirds and The Animals in the ’60s. This is Sonny Boy Williamson II with “Sonny Boy’s Christmas Blues” (and the flipside ‘Pontiac Blues’ as well). Hey now.
Jason Mraz is a funny grammy winner and hit song writer.
“Come Here, It’s Christmas” sneaks up on you with its comedy club vibe and awkward audience titters. Let it seep in and permeate your funny bone. You may grimace.
Old 78 rpm vinyl from the ’40s and earlier had a following, and some mad collectors. But not enough has been written about the artists. Felix Gross aka Sylvester Mike recorded on the Down Beat label and he sang it, swang it, poontanged it.
And check out this Christmas Essentials Youtube channel. They have got some great stuff you’ve never heard.
Charles Brown is that “Merry Christmas, Baby” cat. He helped create the nightclub scene in the 1940s Los Angeles world we all know from the moving pictures. With The Three Drifters he hit big with ‘Driftin’ Blues.’
Here he is with “The Someone that I Love.” It IS a Christmas carol. A cool one.
Here’s something odd. That last song has nothing to do with this song with the same title.
Marva Wright, the Blues Queen of New Orleans, adds her special gospel touch to her blues. This entry “Stocking Full of Love” is heartbreakingly, desperately, hopefully full of love.
Matthew Meadows (wow, that name takes me back to those George R.R. Martin 1990s twisted superhero story collections Wild Cards… but that was Mark Meadows… until you see this guy and go–yeash, like that) is a self described ‘bipolar polymath.’ He also moonlights as blues wailer, Rango the Dog. Guy can’t pick a key and stay with it, but his heart’s in his voice.
Try out his “Ticket for Two (A Christmas Romance).” Love’s hard, at Xmas or anytime. But especially when you’re all poetically worked up like this. Scratch your heart, but hold onto hope.
As Tonight is one of the Twelve Days of Christmas, let’s pause to give New Year’s Eve its due.
NYE is often a poor excuse to fill in a Holiday Album–even with an original, a la Alabama, Cyndi Lauper, or ABBA. It’s noisy and desperate for you to like it, like all those single guys you don’t know at your party.
Sometimes the songs are stand outs, but all emo and desperate still. Like MØ ‘s “New Year’s Eve,”or Josh Pyke’s “New Year’s Song.” Even Van Morrison’s “Celtic New Year” is pretty whiny. Pretty sentiments, punk posings. A slightly more grown up heartbroken paean to pain, Bob Larro’s “Funny What a Year Can Do” fares little better. It’s over, dude. Get a new calendar.
If you really wanna rub me the wrong way, try the children’s versions: The Kiboomers’ “New Year Song for Children,” or Olivia Olson singing for the Phineas and Ferb cartoon show with “It’s a New Year.” The Disney rock is hard to wash off. (Also see Joyce Paultrie’s teen dance bingo “Happy New Year (na, na, na, na, na)” (And then, The Fantastikids sing “Happy Happy New Year” in several languages. Run.) (Slightly more tween is Diana Meyer with “New Year’s Eve.” It’s about finding and enjoying love (LGBQT)–a positive upbeat message for once!–but it’s marred with 7th grade cliched symbolism.)
Now, if you’re not sure what a novelty New Year’s Song is, here is a compilation of ALL standards (easier to keep track of than the Christmas counterparts): “Happy New Year 2016 Songs.” Tune it in and crank it up at 10 P.M. for your boring party background serenade–dude, it’s got ALL the stars–(brace for that ABBA song first).
So let’s start the search for a properly odd New Year’s Eve Anthem. First, consider Death Cab for Cutie’s “The New Year.” It pairs well with slumping and disaffectedness, stained with just a hint of hope.
Dreadful crap also finds its way to the wining and dining and sophistication of the party to end all parties. Donny Goldberg sings nose-first through his “New Year’s Song” but through his shoddy poetry and misspelled captioning he seems uncertain whether time is moving forward or just back and forth like the lovely dancers (what’s his ‘silver spoon’ for at this party?). And there’s sax-like music to swing by.
I didn’t expect metal! Shadow plays the “Theme to New Year’s Evil” like it’s a work for hire. The 1980 slasher did what Garry Marshall now does–cash in on the calendar. But… why?
Some faraway places–esp. the Subcontinent–enjoy this holiday perhaps more than we do, with their fireworks and endless dancing and songs… my heavens the songs these cat’s yowl. Exhibit A: Vennu Nallesh singing “Wish U Enjoy New Year.” It’s one of the few in English (heavily accented with closed captioning), so i thought you’d like that.
Even more off-beat are the entries from one of my loved holiday albums: The American Song-Poem Christmas Album. Sara Stewart with the Lee Hudson Orchestra sings a languid, drunkenly mournful lament “The New Year Song.”
Dick Kent with the Lancelots sing a more forward-thinking hippie-style folk rock scolding to that last song: “A New Year’s Dawning.”
Totally subjectively i loves me some blues for New Years Eve. Charlie Robinson has some smokin’ SW border blues with his “New Year’s Day.” It’s cautionary about bad wimmin and drinkin, Believe.
Here at the eleventh hour i’ll settle for rayull nawlins blues: Sam Lightnin’ Hopkins singing “Happy New Year.” His licks count down his troubles and his hard worn vocals ring in the birth of rock ‘n’ roll. Hear him testify. You’ll be reborn.
Thanksgiving is not JUST about food. Neither is Christmas. But without that excessive feast neither would be complete.
The process of creating the Christmas dindin sounds so familiar when The Wiggles sing “The Turkey Jumps Right Out of the Pie.” I’m not sure if they are mistaking this guinea fowl for a blackbird, but what’s this about having underdone pot pie for the holidays?
A few carols mention the turkey for the season. Many are misdirects (like Elton John’s “Ho Ho Ho Who’d be a Turkey at Christmas?” which is some loud 1973 party song welcoming Santa).
My favorite big bird roast for 12/25 would have to be “Sidemeat’s Christmas Goose” by Riders in the Sky. These high-pitched cow-posers really tell a story with their funny accents and grunts and groans and pitch perfect harmony.
But let’s get American Urban: The Arrogant Worms’ “Christmas Turkey Blues” mixes hot jazz, Memphis blues, and just a touch of hip hop to bring that poor turkey’s troubles home. Let his wattle wail, brother.
