Category: blues

Again: Ron Holden has already asked us “Who Says There Ain’t No Santy Claus?” But it bears redefending. Doo wop greatness all the way to the electric chair.

Riffing off Red Sovine’s patented storytelling, MAMA admits that in “A Christmas Far Far Away” no one believes in Christmas. This is a country trucking song, but in space. It’s like that.

Again: From the failed musical ‘Flahooley’ Barbara Cook and Jerome Courtland update “Who Says There Ain’t No Santa Claus?” with a love song searching for romance.

Brooks and Dunn did NOT improve on this title with their homespun country mush “Who Says There Ain’t No Santa.” Not a cover, but a banal cashgrab.

Properly modern, Captain Beefheart avant gardes the blues with his proclamation “There Ain’t No Santa Claus on the Evening Stage.” Sure it’s from the 1970s, but compared to the other stuff here, this is forward looking.

Bruce and Carl bang the drum and cry out garage-style for “Christmas Awake! It’s Christmas!” Mostly they want to wake you up.

“You Gotta Get Awake This Christmas Break” is a symbolic gesture from Robby Grant suggesting achieving layers of consciousness from enlightenment to helping with the laundry. Peppy indie.

VanVan, Heiress Harris rap you up with their cute as pie “CHRISTMAS WAKE UP.” Presents rhyme with blessings in this house.

Forest Blakk returns with “Wake Up! (It’s Christmas Time),” a party pop of R+B intention. More belly rubbin’ than eye rubbin’ here, y’all.

“Wake Up, It’s Christmas Morning” is on the spiritual side from Rob Mathes. Broken hearts get helped as well. Spiritual blues.

Dr. BLT is back with all cylinders on FOLK for “Santa Overslept this Christmas.” No fear, the doctor has a plan.

John Campbell wonders about the tardy Father Christmas in “Santa’s Song” a narrated (give it a minute) fairy tale. (Fairies and pixies do all the work.) Disturbing childsong.

More story-song from Lawrence Anthony, “Wake-Wakey Santa!” employs highly annoying British children to bray NeeNaw! to help out. Boy, do i have a headache now. But i am awake.

“What If Santa Falls Asleep” is operatic bluesy rock from Nolli Brothers (Juventino Dário de Oliveira · Ana Luiza Noli Merrighi). It’s noisy.

Waiting up all night with puckered lips in order that Klaus may show up and get some…

Again? Unkle Funkle sums it up best with “I Want a Kiss from Santa.” Rollicking, synth-ed pop.

Mr. Neet asks you to sing along with “Wanna Kiss Santa.” Hard not to get caught up with this repetitive (BLUE ALERT) calliope-istic pop.

“Christmas Kiss” from GRAYÉ is light-hearted rap about that oscular connection with–the girl? Santa? Does it matter?

Dad band The Lifters settle into a bluesy rhythm with their chanting “Kiss for Santa.” Nice axe work.

Worth another listen: Danny Gonzalez has seen Tim Allen’s ‘Santa Clause’ once too often, so “I’m Gonna Kill Santa Claus” in order to become the North Pole King. BLUE ALERT. Blame the game, not the playa.

Atmosphere’s “If I was Santa Claus” is a rapping wish list that addresses the psychology of the wisher. Poor guy, he’s conflicted.

“Ol’ Nick and Rudy” is a whole story from Matt Andersen, including some statements from Mr. C. It’s not really him, but it is his side in his own words. If it weren’t for the kickass honky tonk music, i might’ve overlooked it.

Balderdash & Humbug have noticed an uncomfortable resemblance when holiday eating. “Beginning to Look a Lot Like Santa” is indeed a take off of ‘Beginning to Look a Lot Like Christmas.’ But it’s self-serving.

“Christmas Blues” is the letter of complaint from Santa by way of Arrogant Worms. It’s blues, but comedic.

More imposition on the mantle of the Claus with our aspirational philanthropy… The Withers rap parody with “Secret Santa Baby.” Modulated mischief.

Silly garage from Brad & Barry claims “I Wanna be Your Santa Claus.” Tell me what you want, dear. Woof.

Charles Jones gets R+B serious wanting to “Be Your Santa Claus.” Romantic? Creepy? It all depends on the eye contact. Me, i’m melting. (Keith Sweat mellows the hello out of this.)

William Clarke bottoms out the blues with the gnarly “Please Let Me be Your Santa Claus.” He’s askin’, but that harmonica is BEGGing.

Worth another listen: Balderdash & Humbug parody The ‘Stones (NOT Fred & Barney) with the superior “Sympathy for Santa.” Guess his name!

Chaffu$ gets derogatory when maintaining “I am Santa.” BLUE ALERT rap. He finds your lack of faith disturbing.

Glam rock from ’15 sends The Darkness into “I am Santa.” He’s hungry for you in the best Eurotrash style possible.

The Hot Rods growl out “Old St. Nick Blues” like being Santa is a burden. It’s hard work, kids! Roll out that electric organ!

Let’s pile on Santa! Call him names! Judge him! BearRon once again strums and hums, this time about “Dumb Santa.” Three legged pants don’t make a keen gift!

Flooded Cellar mocks the list-maker without a clue in the grungy funk of “If Santa Only Knew.” What Santa didn’t know: He wants to lay some lovin’ on you, girl.

“Bad Mall Santa” may not be the real guy, but Yulenog garages a heap o’ complaints that range from sartorial to personal. The image is tarnished.

Jeff Dunham (as his Bubba J character) sketches the sketchy “Santa is a Redneck” with rall purty country music. It’s all chaw in cheek.

Several versions of “Here Comes Bubba Claus” take on the original carol with less effort than Slidawg & the Redneck Ramblers here apply to the classic frontier humor of the American South.

That crazy, overworked oldster might be getting forgetful. “Santa Got Lost In Texas” cowboys out The Twang. Big place, you know. Like the world.

“Santa’s Lost On the Underground” is fine Britpop from Little Timmy Tinsel & The Fairy Lights. Some fine guitar, but no solutions from fellow riders.

What you don’t want to hear is Santa saying “I Forget.” Chuck Picklesimer uses folk weirdness to explore the onset of dementia.

Making lighter of it, Chris Bennett jazzes the lounge with the Hey, Now of “Santa Claus Forgot.” So funny i almost forgot to, uh, you know.

Worst of all, Santa lost himself! “Where’d Ya Put Santa?” jugs out The Christmas Jug Band. It’s not rhetorical, dude. Help out.

Is Santa a KILLER? Worth repeating: The Killers beg with blues rock “Don’t Shoot Me Santa.” Didn’t you ask for kevlar PJs?

Michele Lee duets herself in the cartoon special about Santa running over (killing) some grandma somewhere. “Grandpa’s Gonna Sue the Pants Off of Santa” applies bossa nova strategy to the civil case that follows.

Ink a tutorial about how you “Better Be Good” Hot Buttered Elves let slip how Santa has a license to kill and will eat (and do worse to) your remains. Oogies. Sock hop rock.

“Double Barrel Santa (the Night the Reindeer Died)” by X-Ray Mary is retro punk inspired grisliness of the homicidal kind. Duck! He’s reloading!

Starting with ‘She’ll be Comin’ ‘Round the Mountain,’ SCUM [BLUE ALERT] alerts us with hard rock that “Santa’s Coming.” Unlike other hopeful lyrics, in this song his goals include raping and killing.

More BLUE ALERT from Poke-Gangster with his rap wreck “Santa Killa.” Yuck.

Pyreworks smashes “St. Nick’s Hit List” with gravel gargling metal. Something something kill something.

To reassure you, “Santa Claus Got Busted!” Mr. Cork takes him down with perky organ pop and a small drugs charge. He doesn’t do well up the river.

Wendell Ferguson takes it slower with the bluesy “Santa’s Doing Time.” Just a B&E, or a few hundred. He’ll be back by next year.