Category: altrock

Well, what DOES James Brown have to say about that frosty philanthropist? “Santa Claus is Definitely Here to Stay” that’s what. Trademark Brown blues.

A Bushman on walkabout, a pilot, a mermaid lover… “Wily Clause” is more than you thought. So say The Uh Ohs with well pointed indie/pop fun.

Spell it out The Christmas Jug Band (feat. Paul Rogers)! “S.A.N.T.A.” is the parody of a powerful myth.

Encore, you say? Well The Christmas Jug Band studies the Santas and determines the one with the most magic in the blues number “Santa Clara, San Jose or Santa Claus?” One guess who it is!

Todd McHatton portrays a super chill wintry judge when toasting “One for Santa.” Just be you! He’ll get it! Soft melodic pop.

Who’s the one! “Ol’ Saint Nicholas“! Ask Doris Day! She’ll sing it for you! In kidsong! (Had this figured out back in 1949!)

“Santa Forever” brings us to a close with the philosophy that WE ARE ALL SANTA CLAUS. Whoa. Indie crooning from Sound of Monday (feat. Mia Crosby). Sweet as hell.

Heck, that’s just a taste. Thousands of pro-Santa songs are out there. Some are pretty terrible, but i don’t wanna cram them all in here together. Then i’d be done blogging. Stay tuned for con-Santa songs next.

Colin Buchanan & Greg Champion make boogie woogie into elevator music with “Cool Rockin’ Santa.” Oh, the guitar licks are there, but these Ozzies play it safe emotionally. It’s all under control.

More authentic, LenneBrothers Band lean into “Boogie Woogie Santa Claus.” It’s receptive, hypnotic, and out of control. Flames!

Asleep at the Wheel mashes up country swing with the B.W. in “Santa Loves to Boogie.” Now my feet are movin’.

The Tractors get us back on track with “The Santa Claus Boogie.” It’s all about the piano, y’see.

Slidawg & the Redneck Ramblers lean much more western than boogie with “Santa’s Boot Scootin’ Boogie.” It’s a two step Time Machine to 1989 line dancing!

Tickle Tune Typhoon redefine the boogie as sha na na retro rock in “Santa’s Belly Boogie.” Lots of countdowns and nonsense syllables. Is this kidsong?

Gary Wilson goes alternative with “I Saw Santa Dancing in the Dark.” This syncopated pop just gets weird. That’s not the twist! That’s epilepsy!

Worth repeating: Lance Songs does kidsong a favor with loosey goosey word jazz set to a simple beat. “Santa, Eat Your Cookies” is as much invitation as celebration. Hahahaha, ho ho ho ho.

??? garage their appreciation of their ‘friend’ “Santana Claus.” No guitars wielded by this figure, but he’s got gifts.

More confused is the mashup “O Santandoa” from Grammarchist. Global Warming crosses the old Jimmie Stewart Civil War movie. It’s a fun mess.

Four part harmony might mean Jay Stansfield is dead serious about “The Man in Red.” But it feels like fooling around. Altrock fun.

Rayvon raps for Disney in “The Santa Wrap.” Some scratching, some sax. But it’s clean as the down of a thistle.

Pretty indie mushiness from Colin Farish calls out observations about that night with the gentle “Thank You, Santa.” What, you couldn’t make a cookie?

What’s that on top of your head?! In “Rockabilly Christmas” it’s Santa’s hair–piled high! Big Bad Voodoo Daddy swings that thing.

Updating (or mocking, it’s so hard to know with young people) They Live by Night honor St. Lucia with “Lucia (I Deserve Candles in My Hair).” Alt rock reverence, i guess.

“Just Put a Ribbon in Your Hair” is a country attempt at romance: all I want for Christmas is you, with a little adornment. Is it ‘cuz your hair’s a mess? Is that ALL I want you wearing? Eddy Arnold cornpones the cornsilk outta this.

In some kinda mashup Rev Run (Feat Mase, Puff Daddy, Snoop Dogg, Salt N Pepa, Onyx, & Keith Murray) wail on “Santa Baby.” They not only want rich gifts for themselves, but also My little sister needs a comb just to braid her nappy hair. Rap your head around that.

“Santa Hair” by GazzookaBazooka is a paean to Kristmas Kringle’s faboo style. But the indie garage never takes off, just sadly retro pops.

Ariane Grande occasionally recuts her tunes for the holidays, but i still don’t get “My Hair (Christmas Version).” Is the hair the loved one? Is the hair the boundary between like and love? Is it a woman of color thing? And how is this Christmas? Oh, well.

On the Job wishes you a “Merry Christmas and Short Cropped Hair.” This punk petition possibly refers to their signature skinhead coiffure. Accept it graciously.

Maxwell, Miranda & Paisley celebrate Christmas at the “A1 Instructional Barbering Plus.” Soft, tremulous indie with a setting in mind. Less hair, more merry.

A Bit Shifty has gifted us “A Switchblade Christmas.” This quiet indie begins the way you think it ought: kid wants a switchblade. But he gets a switchblade comb. Fun! Remember those? (boy, i’m old)

The “Hipster Christmas List” includes a comb For my self-indulgent beard Maybe some mustache wax For when it starts looking weird. The Stickups also mention clove cigarettes, a stocking cap, some vinyl… why this rocking list never ends!

“Behind Every Christmas” by Matthew Simon Clark is a hypnotic indie tribute to a comb. I poop you not. (Unless i’m not getting something.)

Hairdos and don’ts make up human civilization. The follicular top o’ your head may have a function (thermoregulation/UV screen), but what you do with that stuff says a lot about power and sex. It’s a choice.

More so with facial hair. As half of us don’t have that (and those that have do so only after nubility, so to speak), this is solely a mating display. Let’s not limit ourselves to the  intersexual attraction (attracting females), but also consider the intrasexual competition (intimidating rival males). The bushy ‘staches and bountiful beards signify wisdom, strength, or homelessness. Who’s got the worldwide attention of pognophiles? Yahweh, Jesus, Mohammed… and Santa Claus. (Buddha and John Smith shaved as a message for something or other.)

So, here’s to holiday plumage (mostly from the neck up)! We must kick it off with Santa… sure sure sure.

Santa’s hippie-like hisuitsm has been overseen once before on the blog.

Otis Gibbs also has his doubts in the authentic country music of “Lookin’ Like a Hippie.” That’s some fine fiddlin’

LN & AND spell out for us how much God and Santa look alike with the thoughtful indie “Santa’s Beard.” It takes about a minute.

Nearly the worst that could befall us Christmas-wise would be a Santa-cide.

DJ Chestnuts raps over the reverb about our merry loss in “Christmas Tragedy.” Another Santa dead….

Cocoon swings it Sufjan Stevens style with the startling “Christmas Song.” No graphic details here, just innuendo after Santa doesn’t appear: The reindeer may have been shot in the skies.

Some random teens appear as The Untitled and indie up the sentiment with “A Christmas Tragedy.” Short, but not sweet.

“The Worst Day That I’ve Had (Joseph’s Song)” is Sammy Horner’s swinging pub rock (great violin) all about infidelity and noisy animals during childbirth and Christmas (I sure do hope that some good comes from our little lad ). Good stuff.

Sneakthief sings “Merry Christmas, from the Worst Year of My Life” seems to allude to COVID-19. Pretty whining, on the other hand.

Jonas Selander measures up freezing to death in “Christmas Night Tragedy” (AKA ‘Winter Night Tragedy’), a short but lively alt jaunt.

After all the good stuff is ruined, Jonathan Mann tells the little ones how much he’d like to “Let It Snow (In the Year 2063).” Gallumphing blues make global warming charmingly scary.

Despite accomplishments like moon landings, SoftLightes points out our loss of love. Consequently There’s a fire that’s burnin’ and demandin’ and this may be “The Last Christmas on Earth.” Dancing is prescribed in this rocker.

The excess is no excuse! “More!” by Devin Townsend invokes greed from the kids, the self, and Jesus, too. Salesmen are-a-coming and they want more! Christmas is-a-coming and kids want more! Armageddon is-a-coming and we want more we say! It’s our way, with metal.

Michael M thinks children are the future… and that sucks. “Humans are Not Worth Saving (Merry Christmas)” is poppin’ indie with a ‘tude.