Category: Caroldies (parodies of carols)

Any other humor we can inject into the Rudolph song? How’s about the scatalogical?

“Rudolph Don’t Go” is Kristen Key’s kidsong entry into Christmas poop. Guess what it’s about?!

“Santa and Rudolph’s Poop Contest” also does NOT bury the lede. Lil Poverty Angels get word salad rap ready.

“Rudolph the Red-Nosed Hemorrhoid” is Matt ‘The Toilet Bowl Cleaners’ Farley’s depiction of holiday distress.

“Rudolph Dropped a Package on My Rooftop” is the clever yet country humor of Brad Tassell and Steve Goodie.

“Rudolph the Reindeer (S**t on My Lawn)” is The Flatworms’s garage nastiness (it’s like black cottage cheese!).

Sorry, everyone. I can’t feature any of these. So let’s end on a big downer, “Rudolph the Red-Nosed Reindeer (a rendition in minor key)” from Tempus Cucumis (Time of the cucumber??) This is more than shitty, this is enormously doomy. See, the ending is changed from happy to– well, you’ll see.

Riffing off ‘Rudolph’ Jeff Grant strums with wit and sibling rivalry sniping at each of the reindeer (and Santa) until settling on “Comet, the Black-Nosed Reindeer” as the regular Joe of the bunch. Half a laugh more than i thought it’d get.

Let’s pretend a ‘Rudolph’ parody is a funny thing. And now…

TheOdd1sOut “Prancer the Normal-Nosed Reindeer” writes itself. Maybe it should go listen to itself as well.

This guy garnered so much attention with that previous song, came back with the “Prancer Rap.” Also short, also derivative. Still fun. Bleeped out ass, so there’s that.

Oh derives from O, which opens a trove of traditional carols. Let’s try to avoid those and stay with the dumbstruck cry.

Helen & Shanna simply cry out Oh Oh Oh in “Oh! Christmas,” as if they didn’t want to take the Lord’s inspired day in vain. Odd folk chanting.

Amery Rey Tuesta also has a worldish twist to his folksy “Oh Christmas!” (And cracking vocals.) This is a prayer. Or perhaps whining.

Adding a whoa to the oh, Brianna Dembrow gets all country worked up with “Christmas Oh.” Well now.

Well, i can’t avoid the parodies any longer: ‘O Holy Night’ gets the smelly relatives treatment in “Oh, Christmas Night (Mare)” from Duck Logic Comedy. Sing along!

Another bells favorite of the holiday season is from ‘The Lemon Drop Kid,’ some old (1950) Bob Hope rom com. More not-exactly-Jesus type celebrating. And, the skinny is, the original title of ‘Tinkle Bells’ got the 86 from the writer’s wife who knew third-grader slang. If you can sit through the flick, William Frawley introduces the song at first with an angry sidewalk Santa rant. Cool. Then Bob Hope sings it, but Bing Crosby cuts the vinyl of it. Nevermind.

The only novel version I might subject you to would be Johnny Setlist’s “Silver Bells (Ukulele Mix)” from the Goon Christmas 2010 extravaganza. Although I am partial to Rich Hinklin’s reimagining “Silver Bells (Post-Apocalyptic Dance Mix).”

Hey, that one reminds me of the after-the-robopocalypse fun from JMaq: “Iron Bells.” Most ‘Silver Bells’ parodies don’t allow for bells. Screw them, this is far out.

Newfoundland’s own Snook sermonizes on the difficulty of living it up given urban oppression in “Swingin’ Bells.” Too much vernacular by half, innit?

The 1980s gave birth to housewife talent like The Fallen Angels, a Portland weird-ity who parodied classics especially around the holidays. In the spirit of the original, their “Clanging Bells” is a denouncement of noise pollution especially the Salvation Army’s.

The mainstream delivers ‘Sleigh Ride’ every holiday season, an instrumental from The Boston Pops (1949) first with words from The Andrew Sisters (1950). Yeah, it’s a Christmas mainstay, but –yawn– it doesn’t –ho hum– help with the –what was i talkin’ about–?

A couple of versions you should add to your novelty collection spun out from this joyride are inspired by the vapidness of the added words. Mojo Nixon plays around with the nonsense syllables, and Barenaked Ladies just scat. Take that, wordsmiths!

You should also know, Anthony Daniels (following orders) makes this non-denominational number a lesson for robots (Star Wars and otherwise) to learn the spirit.

Parodies don’t bring it either. I can do without John Valby‘s tasteless BLUE ALERT schtick. Joshua Gilyard‘s Queen of the Ratchet neither amuses about gossipy girls. The Bible gets a fun synopsis to this melody by Jacob Manning. Jason, however, explains why school band members don’t like this tune.

The elevation of ‘Jingle Bells’ as a holiday song (NO Christ, NO Santa, NO presents… howso?!) means that anyone who hears the melody knows the sentiment. A slight play on the words… and novelization is born.

Now, I’m not talkin’ re-topicalification. Sure there are songs ranging from petty peeves to current culture to the secrets of life that borrow this music and make merry. That’s a rabbit hole to step over for the time being. Here we celebrate the snow and the sleigh and just scat a bit, for color.

Yogi Yorgenson does this handily with the dumb-furriner approach of “Yingle Bells,” a 1949 big Christmas hit that you might know by heart. If not, reacquaint, please.

1959 sees The Three Stooges messing up the transpo with junk in their slow-tempo “Jingle Bells Drag.” Lots of bonks and a few slaps to go with the jingling.

Paul & Paula switch up the ride to surfboards for “Holiday Hootenanny,” a kissin’ cousin to the original, but worth the wipeout. Now it’s 1963.

Homer and Jethro, a few years later (1968), cash in on what we used to call ‘frontier humor’ (now it’s redneck) with their “Jingle Bells.” More de-romanticizing of the icy out-of-doors. And loads o’ larfs.

Little has been done along these lines since those good ol’ days, so let’s go out dada-style with James Rossi’s “Jingle Bawtiba.” The title will become meaningful while partaking of this tasty morsel. Diggety-ding.

While we’re digging through the parody barrel, let’s give a moment to the ‘Imagine’ spoof by some wise guys known as Blinky the Elf. This “Imagine” doesn’t exactly write itself, but i’m not sure who else to blame. Woo-hooo.