Year-round Yuletide oddities
The unacknowledged stepchild of country, the blues, gets more mileage out of misery. So a blues number railing over the unjust season of Xmas? Cover your ears, Mother.
The Legendary Tiger Man (One Man Band) holds no bars with “Fuck Christmas, I Got the Blues.” But he does keep some rhythm. So, testify.
Common talk for common folk, some of the best cussin’ is from our cousins in the backwoods. They got the time to guttertalk the holidays. What else they going to do–get jobs?
Grampa with an agenda Chip Taylor calls all y’all on the hypocrisy of Christ’s day with yer shopping and sipping and ignoring the poor. “Merry F’n Christmas” sticks with the euphemism of the single letter, while drawling out slow country molasses guitar. Preach: Jesus light up that trailer park.
Sounding like every other song, with a minor twang, Flat Earth Man presents “Fuck Christmas.” There’s anal, ammo… not so much with the amusement, though. That’s no joke.
Country’s bastard, country rock, can fill stadiums, but The Rugburns bring the garage to their “I Hate Christmas,” a noisy noisome complaint about stickin’ your dick in anything that moves. Take a bow, gentlemen.
Cursing is a jolly boys’ game. But girls can play, too. Women bear a significant load of Christmas jeer.
Let’s not overlook boys AS girls with DWV (Detox, William, & Vicky Vox) gettin’ jiggy wit’ it (or certainly suckin’ on it) for “That Christmas Song.” Nasty as they wanna be, boys.
Kim Wilde fronts Lawnmower Deth for a British rollicking prog metal “Fuck You Christmas.” Jolly that, wot?
While whooping it up, being true to our school, we might at times take other names in vain.
Certainly South Park is known for this xenophobic excoriation with Mr. Garrison’s “Merry Fucking Christmas,” a show stopping number you can holler to be racist, or be ironic about racists. Seen this already.
Justin Cooper playfully paeans the American way with “A Fuck You Christmas Song.” Tooting and tootling, we face alcoholism, patriotism, and apathetic despair. Love Xmas or eat shit and die.
Left-handed celebrations allow for the comfort and joy, while acknowledging the misery and discomfort of the holiday seasons.
Lovebyte says “Merry Fucking Christmas to Me.” Experimental pop at half speed. I can feel the love. Ow.
Name dropping the yuletide usuals, ReWine rocks the pop out of “Merry Fucking Christmas.” I got pop Bingo!
The DAWS slam yin and yang together into the mosh pit of UK pop (half punk, half skiffle) for “Christmas Fucking Day.” It’s a drunken surrender into family. Gotta do it.
So you love Christmas, i mean really love Christmas. So what’re you going to do, sing?
Hovey Benjamin of Funny or Die demonstrates with “I Fucking Love Christmas.” Rap comedy, of ‘the fireplace is lit’ variety. Mostly listing.
Kiwi Matt Mulholland goes beyond the pale with his white rapping “I Fucking Love Christmas.” Nasty boy, nasty boy, whatch goin’ tadoo–?
We have established beforehand that swearing is an emphatic heightening the word meanings to their superlative status (mostly because we don’t know more words). So the king of all bad language might mean how ecstatic we are with Christmas.
Doug Walker (“The Nostalgic Critic”) of Channel Awesome nails this conceit with “I Fucking Love Christmas.” Here presented as metal fun musical video within the complete skit. This gets pretty twisted.
Animation and swearing, it’s like chocolate and tuna fish! They shouldn’t go together, but somehow–
‘Nightmare Before Christmas’ is the easy target here, ‘cuz it’s a musical (duh) and also weirdos like it.
Gamma Secretase plays “Fuck This” as a Madlibs, poking in the swear word for some other word as often as possible. Your laughter levels will tell you how high you are at the moment.
Shorter and more clever (though with direct drug references) is Lord Jazor’s “The F*ck is This?” Yeah, i know, it’s a Christmas movie, not really a Christmas song. Still like it.
What begins as heartbreak can infect all customary Christmas celebratory delight. She left you, so the whole package can go hang. You understand.
Dave Kilgore deadpans the light rock of “Merry F’n Christmas” adding to the comedy of contrast with his increasing venom. Poor guy.
Skate Punks (SK8PNX) want to go home with you, but it’s not meant to be. So garage rock out the “Merry Fucking Christmas” sadness. But xylophones don’t make me sad, dudes!
Wah, can’t get a date on the 25th! I’m so mad, I could swear!
Go Set Go is pretty depressed by it all. “Fuck Christmas” is a folk spiral down into sickness. Come along. Pretty strumming.
Carter Skull, in a rejected state, avers “Fuck It, It’s Christmas” to all his incel buddies. Pop jitterbug blues.