About my favorite toasting Christmas song is from Narrative Crows. “Christmas Drinking Song” is dreamlike and transporting, a magic cocktail ride. These Montrealeans blend folk and alt rock into a heavenly choir of our shortcomings, pairing that with a hypnotic video of arctic foot and traffic fails the may leave you hypnotized. View responsibly.
Author: douglove1225
Drunk as a Fiddler’s Bitch for the High Holidays
Perhaps a bit more conciliatory, Bob Nevin diagrams the road to ruin with his “Drunk this Christmas” half heartedly. It doesn’t seem like a done deal, but that may be the folk-rock talking. I think a kind word to the gentleman might change his mind.
Great White Caps also is unconvincing while the lead singer’s voice cracks and changes through the stress of living up to the garage rock band image. These partiers in “I’m Gonna Get Drunk for Christmas” appear to be giffing through the motions. Or they can’t really sing.
Paul Sanchez slows it way down with gentle jazz for his apologetic “I Got Drunk this Christmas.” It’s not the blues, but it sounds like he’ll wake up with them tomorrow.
The Dan Band has ulterior motives for disappearing the drinks: “Get Drunk & Make Out This Christmas” explains how a man builds up the courage to negotiate for the gift he wants. Some uncoordinated unwrapping ensues. Pop country Irish candy.
Drunk as an Fresh-Boiled Owl for the High Holidays
BLUE ALERT Corey Taylor of the extremely discourteous Slipknot poses an if-then antecedent-consequent in his surprisingly singable “XM@$.” Many forms of intoxication are equated with many forms of this holiday. CT needs relief from them all.
Also sprightly suggesting an alternative to Mass, Zax Vandal posits “Drunk on Christmas Cheer” to those who wish to know. Rockin’.
Red Alert slurs and gargles their “Having a Drunken Christmas” like they’re in the midst of muddleheadedness. But it’s a party plan for meeting the holidays head down. For those who like their punk over orchestrated.
Crocked for the High Holidays
Toasting is peer pressure for alcoholism. Can you say no, sneak a ginger ale, toss it in the potted plant?
Michelle Unkle just wants to talk about it. After a couple minutes she pokes fun at ‘Jingle Bells’ with “Let’s Get Drunk on Christmas!” It’s a sad processional that leads one more towards temperance. Wah.
Marco & Jannik invoke ’70s party rock with their “Let’s Get Drunk on Christmas.” The driving percussion, the rasping vocals, the incoherent beat–it’s like getting drunk. Whee.
Backyard cowboy Arnold Connelly tries to marry honky tonk with dixieland in his “Gonna Get Drunk This Christmas.” With some tweaking, he may have a hit, but this is cry for help. Wha–?
Chris Ilett finds more and more reason to indulge as he sings a British raging music hall style ballad to booze “Let’s Get Drunk This Christmas.” It’s an epic journey through the liquor cabinet of misery. If you don’t believe me, read the reviews included in the opening of the video. Whoa.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vcgrX9UdmFg
Blotto for the High Holidays
Promises of bottomless bottle tipping may be a cry for help, or a comic reflection of our denial of a serious social problem. But gotta sing about it.
BLUE ALERT Killfuck rap out their disappointment with traditional holiday observations and figure a “Drunk Christmas” is enough to dump on the tree skirt. It’s angry, but not drunk angry. I read present envy.
Also fed up with the bourgeoisie are Tribe of the Vague offering “Drunk for Christmas” as a reasonable reaction to the mercantile madnes. It’s UK pop flipped on its arse and fondled with boyish tomfoolery.
Gaz Brookfield keeps us ‘cross the pond for his “Getting Drunk for Christmas.” He makes it sound like a fun party for him and the mates with a bouncy rock: 1 part garage, 2 parts alt, 1/2 part folk.
Besotted for the High Holidays
Watch’a got planned for Christmas? Bottles! Yea verily, it’s a tradition to buy, imbibe, and belch up the birthday of Godboy. Or, more often, it girds the loins of those unwilling to face family, loneliness, and a general lack of purpose while trudging through black, bleak, endless nights. Bottoms up!
Dave Hutchins captures the blues while rock-beating on his guitar for a better than average amateur offering “I’ll be Drinking for Christmas.” Hutch knows.
More thoughtfully folk Scott Gagner jazzes up “I’ll be Drinking This Christmas.” It’s a spiraling snowflake of a song, so more sipping than slurping over the barstool, fellas.
Kristian Bush (it’s a guy) spells it out eff-ay-em-eye-ell-why (let’s deal with calamitous Christmas clan clashes later) in a modern country carol of high production values. When songs like “Thinking about Drinking for Christmas” sound this good i tend to hear encouragement to excess drinking, but to each hic own.
About Right for the High Holidays
All those songs about alcoholic drinks remind us that Christmastime is about celebrating full out, red solo cups tipped to the ceiling, regrets solidifying while inhibitions melt. And i wouldn’t spend so much time on the subject if there weren’t so many songs about it. Originally i figured about to offer you a month of half drunk Christmas songs and half stoned Christmas songs, but we can’t stop composing ourselves in re alcoholism. So let’s indulge in a fun bit of slang to denote each entry (alphabetical, natch from about right to zozzled) but we’ll be climbing the stages of toasting to tipsy to totaled to a friend of Bill’s to hungover to rehab, while also slipping in some drunk daddies, Santies, Jesuses, and maybe Rudolph or someone else. Damn son, i need as shower already and i hain’t even started.
One of the easiest targets, songsmiths–i’m talking to you, is parodying ‘I’ll be Home for Christmas.’ And while Harold Swords fulfills the comedy needs of the few with “I’ll be Drunk for Christmas,” we can do better–like smurfswacker’s entry which splashes in a dash of class. Or Hilary who throws her diva range all over her take off (warning: karaoke soundtrack/no picture).
Face it, most of this stuff is going to be low brow hollering fun: Zach Smith plays BLUE ALERT adolescent humor to a pretty folk echo in “I’ll be Drunk This Christmas.” Funny.
Peter and the Test tube Babies also scream “I’m Getting Pissed for Christmas” a la punk. But it’s just one more day of sucking it down.
But Curt Brash poses “I’ll be Drunk for Christmas” with jazzy scat and cool lackadaisicality. It’s barfly Tom Waits, or–you know–Tom Waits.
Then comes the garage gentleness from The Blood Moons, which turns their “I’ll be Drunk for Christmas” into a bar band anthem that sells this sad sentiment. It’s morose and hopeless but you can dance to it.
Drink N.B. Merry: punch
The punch bowl may be the place to start the holiday party, then work up to all the booze we’ve lately consumed. But everyone finds their way back here eventually. This is where you say your goodbyes. So goodbye month of Christmas drinking!
No better place to put that holiday reminder toast: drink to get through these days, but keep count. From our a cappella boys Straight No Chaser, “To Christmas! (The Drinking Song).” (A grand reprise of this category, but does it sound like a sea chanty to anyone else?)
Hee haw styling informs Cledus T. Judd’s country comedy with knee-slapping and sides-holding and eye-rolling in place of line dancing. “Hazel’s Homemade Hallelujah Punch” is a merry tradition purportedly without alcohol, but with the favor of the Lord.
Ancient Order of the Killer Owl mix pop with psychedelia for overwsweet punch with blurring after effects in “The Christmas Punch Song.” It’s far out.
Straight outta witness protection Daniel Brouse also stirs up mind-melting electronica with a bubblegum beat in “Holiday Punch (Christmas Song).” It’s a jeremiad about over drinking, which we’ll explore next month. Guy thinks he’s in outer space (except for the evidence of gravity at the end of the video), i reckon.
Carbon Leaf brings us to a close with “Red Punch/Green Punch.” It’s a bluegrassy family home movie with sweet Old World reflection and a hardy refrain that celebrates all our lives.
Drink N.B. Merry: champagne
Fortify your spirit with evanescence! Get bubbly! Tickle me nose mo’!
Chloe and Phil sing a waltz of light country with “Champagne for Christmas.” Light and lovely, not tripsy at all.
The Fleshtones bring the rock around to garage with their “Champagne for Christmas.” They are much more ‘high,’ but still romantic as all get out.
Drink N.B. Merry: wine, just
Toast Noel! But with what beverage? I’ve been fermenting over this a while, and let’s whine about the adult grape drink not address’d ’til now.
Ziggy Rankin may be metaphorical here, singing about a girl, but riddim is riddim. In “Caroline (Sweetest Wine)” the music moves the way winos believe they do when fortified with sippage.
Promising title–“The Ultimate Last Wine Song 2016,” but it turns out the Norwich tavern The Last Wine Bar is merely musically Xmas card-ing their patrons online. Damn skippy talented song, though.
Canada’s own The Yule Be Sorrys contextualize the consumption with their own update on ‘Holly and Ivy’ with “The Sherry and the Claret” about holiday hollering. Medieval frivolousness.
Let’s mellow way on down the eve with Jason Gleason mush-mouthing “Sleigh Bells and Wine,” where the sleigh awaits, the fire amasses, and the word snow has five syllables. Daddy, oh.