Month: May 2025

“The point is there ain’t no point”-C.M.

Well, if Christmas’s all just someone else’s story… what are we gonna do?

“Let’s Pretend It is Christmas” from Marthie Nel Hauptfleisch and Bill White is a pretty folk pop ballad about going through the motions (for the baby?) that’s almost hopeful.

Paul Parnell is troubled by the lack of snow (and brotherly love?), so he’ll “Pretend It’s Christmas.” Cheesy easy listening.

Jigsaw Seen unspools prog rock for a more mystical “Pretend It’s Christmas.” Now we’re getting nowhere.

Sampling like crazy, Akira the Don sets up a “Game of Pretend” (no harm intended). Spoken word new age self delusion. What?

Making pretend is the goal of Them Dirty Dimes who carousel pop for “Let’s Pretend (It’s Christmas Time).” A lovely, waltzing illusion.

Shane James is gonna “Just Pretend It’s Christmas” this year with insistent pop back beats and repetition. That’s the way we do it at my house.

The Non Traditionals broaden our lack with the sea shanty adjacent indie “Let’s Pretend It’s December.” I pretend that every day on the blog.

“Confounding the dignity of man with mere usefulness arises from conceptual confusion that in turn may be traced back to the contemporary nihilism transmitted on many an academic campus and many an analytical couch”-V.E.F.

Again: Agnosticism tries to rock in “Have Yourself a Merry Secular Xmas” by Connor Ratliff & Mikey Erg. Knowing it can’t be known doesn’t get us very far.

David Goody returns to spoof pop McCartney and spell out the philosophical consequences of a “Nihilistic Christmas.” Check out the pointless guitar solo. (This is less confusing than his teasing “Nihilist Navidad” where the lesson is: whatever you like. That’s not really nihilist, is it.)

“It’s a Nihilist’s Christmas!“–BLUE ALERT–is the salsa beat indie from Lips Manly that allows for whatever purges your tension. Bet you wind up alone, though.

Queen Elizabeth’s Abortion solemnly electronicas “The 12 Days of Nihilism.” Better than it oughta be. I recommend it to my science fiction friends.

Thomas Christ reduces the state of being even more with the electronic “Nihilist Christmas.” Don’t believe it!

Glen Richardson juggles possibilities with improbabilities in the much more musical slow rocking “The Nihilist’s Christmas.” It’s like tipsy showtune.

“If you could be either God’s worst enemy or nothing, which would you choose?”-C.P.

Again: JMaq singsongs the wisdom of the ages with his electronic “Christmas isn’t Real.” Please address each one of his points singly.

There’s gotta be more to this, reasons The Twelve Twenty-Four Collective with jazzy overtones to the easy listening in the searching “Christmas Isn’t Real.” By not real, they mean incomplete–in the big scheme of bells and wrapping paper.

Also trying to focus on what’s important, The TV & Film Music Collective (feat. Shay Watson) reduces our holidays to nothing… without you. “Christmas Isn’t Real” squeaks in under the gate as more jazzed easy listening, but don’t expect more lovelorn frippery this month.

Let’s return to our mission as The Brockstars nasty up the Advent in “Santa isn’t Real.” This rocker manipulates the masses to get some. Then some more.

“If we believe in nothing, then everything is possible and nothing has any importance”-A.C.

Again: One of my favorites has Bill Wurtz contrast silly pop froth with coffeehouse beat iconoclasm. “Christmas isn’t Real” is awesome sauce, from that gossipy Easter Bunny to the two dollar scat.

“Real or Fake (Shit Ain’t for Everybody)” is the rap expose by way of Von Carter, BLUE ALERT and all the tea is spilled.

The Partitioners–also BLUE ALERT–party up the disappointment with “There is No Christmas.” Old timey rock’n’roll with a grudge.

Social Fever (feat. Diana Timbur) smash the 88 keys for the jazz purrer “There Is No Christmas Without Science” (Remastered Version). It’s the age old dilemma of faith: what we see vs. what we want to see. Cool.

“In this modern day and age, we have instant coffee, instant tea – instant disbelief”-G.T.

Again: Nicktoons’ Jimmy Neutron pits our eponymous hero against his entire schoolroom with the showtune debate “Basking in the Warmth of Christmas.” It’s a mainstream standoff.

Gighive indies an upbeat “Here Comes Christmas,” the whole time smirking behind their sleeves. Not really!

David Goody lectures us about what’s real and what’s true. With his toy piano pop he chides our Xmas trads, but stands by UK’s rock band Slade in the culturally bound “Mr. Holder’s Yule Log.” Better dresser than Santa, anyways.

Shorty Garrett don’t believe in any of this holiday hoohaw. You’ve heard all those lies, haven’t you? “I Think You Know” he declaims through strangled bluegrass, in case you hadn’t.

“Belief is the natural state of things; disbelief, skepticism, science, is not natural”-M.S.

Again: REVENGE covers Rusty Cage’s “Christmas Knife Game Song.” The bubblesome-ness is here, but this time the nihilism gets great electronic backup.

OG protest folk “Santa Doesn’t Exist” by Apple Juice Party stinks of Dylan, but breezes like Dylan.

The Burstein Boys twangle out some pop rock straight talk from Dad. “Santa Doesn’t Exist” takes us through the prog schema of the ’70s: genre flip-flops, ups/downs–the whole magilla. Wotta trip.

Silver Louzy And Friends ! (ft. Antony Looser) uses this door opening to echo the rock with “Santa Doesn’t Exist But Satan Does.” That electronic baseline is going to kill me.

“The only assets one can take with him when one dies is one’s belief or disbelief”-H.Y.

Aches and the Pains amps up kidsong into proper rock with “There is No Santa Claus.” How is this kidsong?!

What’s Next briefly (incl. BLUE ALERT) metals the message “Santa Does Not Exist.” It seems to end half-way through, but there’s a surprise at the end.

Bilingually, Punkakes (also BLUE ALERT) metals more meanness with “Santa Claus Doesn’t Exist.” Lot of energy for such a downer.

Tylor Jesus works the speech impediment for the pop startler: “Santa Doesn’t Exist.” Reading you loud and clear, you spoilsport.

“To believe that what has not occurred in history will not occur at all, is to argue disbelief in the dignity of man”-M.G.

Boys set loose with sound equipment usually do better than The No Hits, No Wonders. So, unless it’s a song-prank, the angry amateurish “There Ain’t No Santa Claus” is on the naughty list.

Starting with ‘Sleigh Ride’ Tenille Primus & Tenielle Lewis dance carefree around “There’s No Santa Claus” with electronic easy listening and parang.

Jed Davis mashes retro rock with elctro-pop in the inspiring “There is No Santa.” Quite a ride, but i’m not sure of our destination.

Boys, straightened out by the parents, might moan the blues rock like we get from Baxter and The Basics. “There is No Santa Claus” is a roller coaster of belief suss and disbelief mistrust. I need a scorecard here.

“The battle that never ends is the battle of belief against disbelief”-T.C.

Dad comes clean that “There is No Santa Claus” in Wizards of Boat’s garage pop. Well, hmm. You lied before, why believe you now?

Adam Beattie’s conclusion that “There’s No Santa Claus” seems a symptom of his existential meltdown. It’s just one more noel in the coffin. It’s carnival indie.

FuMP comes through again with the ‘Here Comes’ parody “There’s No Santa Claus.” Logical review devolves into name-calling and perversity, however, so take this with a grain of nutmeg.

Randy C Moore fights the power of dissuasion with the boogie woogie “There Ain’t No Santa Claus.” What about the toys? What about the lights? What about the Harlem Globetrotters? Awesome.

“A disbelief in God does not result in a belief in nothing; disbelief in God usually results in a belief in anything”-A.L.

Again: Miles Maxwell (feat. Gary Zimmer) fab out the pop with “Santa is Real.” This uber-rationalization comes off as snide at best. I suspect disbelief.

The Boulevards (feat. L Odessa) doo wop in a closed bathroom to bring us “I Don’t Believe in Santa Claus.” Groovy, but tinny.

Largely undecipherable, the club pop of Davii plows through “Don’t Believe in Santa with URBAN ZAKAPA.” See, i’m not sure if urban is a tribute or an attribution. But i am doing the bossa nova to it.

Excez exhorts us with shouted garage in “Don’t Believe in Santa.” Careful, here. They have tools.