“F (x) = X^2 + 84, X = 44” is Foster Gray and the JJ’s garage-splaining their childhood to adulthood quandary. Only tangentially about the holidays, so solve for the inverse.
Blinded is back and this time (after a spoken intro in which Santa wakes the narrator) it’s piano-paced easy listening about waking those adults in a timely fashion. Pay it forward, or rather “Spread the Message.” The message is: It’s Great!
Carlene Hall also has to wake the old fogies, this time to get them to sing the Jesus songs so we can see “Christmas Through His Eyes.” Erm, wait. Turns out that’s only a metaphor for organ donation. Gentle OHMYGOD folk.