Why, Christmas Day!
I haven’t missed it!
No, i have not. As with other years, my reach exceeded my grasp. We had some frivolity with ideas for monthly themes; but, as per uszh, some months resulted in middle-of-the-road snoozefests. My job: find the best of the year, both tracks and complete albums.
January is the exception to so many rules. The holiday musical (produced or not, staged or screened, even just concept albums) posed a challenge. Which is the blockbuster tune amid the sawing of arms? For a cool collection, let’s go with the 1978 Matt Berry BBC presentation “AD/BC: A Rock Opera.” I came of age in the ’70s, so Andrew Lloyd Weber’s ‘Jesus Christ Superstar’ was a big influence on my evolution. Today, i’m all for skewering it. This gets videotape strange. Totally worth it.
Some of my favorite songs from this category were from revues, complex collections of capable carols stuffed into tours de force for budding talents. The Canadian show ‘Naughty, But Nice’ may have premiered in 2019, but i’ve yet to see it play ‘cross this side of the border. Try “Lait de Poule” to get an idea what turns my crank. Our journey from holiday drink through French to etymology jumps the conclusion. Flippant linguistics.
February?? Eh, look it up!
March became a repository for Christmas songs about hair. Santa’s beard featured in many. Matthew Bright threw in a song about going bald in his Christmas is Another Word for Christmas album. Why he is going bald is the odd bit. As odd as his songs about tickling, Starbucks’ bathroom, and what else to do with nutmeg. Throw caution to the winds and get that album.
Needing a parody about now, i think it’s time for The Enablers and Friends to slice up on Cake with their “White Beard, Red Jacket.” It’s all in the details for one of the most recognized icons of our planet.
April celebrated that big red suited immortal big time. Funk has a way of honoring, so please check out Santa’s Funk & Soul Christmas Party which has several volumes to date. Vol. 2, 3, & 4 do also groove featuring the likes of Rev. T. L. Barrett, Pearl Bailey, Excalibur, and Sharon Jones. Do it.
Glam rock from The Rubettes (feat. Alan Williams) treats Ol’ Kringle like a Saturday morning cartoon superhero from the ’70s. “Go Go Santa” indeed.
May took That Fat Bastard to task for all the harm he causes us every Christmas. Since 2005 Health Alliance for Austin Musicians (HAAM) has raised money for its struggling artists with Holiday Haam Jam collections of donated Xmas tunes. Many standards, for those who can stand it, but outstanding originals as well. Vols. 1, 2, 3 available now. It’s a good thing.
A Jello Productions Original “The BAD Santa Song” itemizes a list of the naughty business Santa completes In Your Home. Oi. You might wanna duct tape the chimney shut.
JUNE returned us to good Santas, in fact lovable Santas. Love that Kringle! Canadians sustain us, as in the Calgary a cappella quartet Heebee-jeebees and their album X-mas Nuts. Ostensibly kids’ music, but ’tis the season, oldsters! I see a bit too many standards, so we’ll include Best Before Christmas, and Christmas Crackers. I have featured many of their novelties over the years. Respect must be paid.
Loving Santa may seem one-way, so–in order to achieve balance–let’s deal with the lecherous Gift Guy as portrayed in Darling Abbeygate’s “Santa’s Got a Crush on Me.” Cool rockabilly… until late in the song. Then darkness overwhelms! Spooky!!
July rounds out our Santa subject with songs sung BY that jolly old elf. Gastronomical Unit, as is our motif this year, hits the standards, but their Holiday Feast is also a well i’ve drunk novelty from many times on the ol’ blog. Vol. 2, too. Sounds like they’re having fun. Share the joy.
Female fronted punk from Sarasota CA, The Dollyrots bawl out “Because I’m Santa” as if they had a sack. And they do. Get ready to dance, or give out cookies.
August encouraged low concept thematization, so i demolished as many chimney/fireplace songs out of the woodwork as i could find. Helping me, was our old friend Western Star label with The Ultimate Rockin’ Christmas Collection. The Bad Detectives, The Elfish Presleys, The Epileptic Hillbillies, Little Timmy Tinsel & The Fairy Lights, and so much more brought me hopped up hijinx of talented hilarity. Friends, there’s nearly 50 entries here. Gobble it.
Currently Disconnected circles back to Scary Claus with the forbidding “Coming Down Your Chimney.” These kookies strum and sing like they’re not from around here, but they have struck a nerve with me. Oo-ee-oo.
September naturally led us to stockings. Like those hung on the chimney with care, but also fishnets, and just plain stinkin’ socks as gifts under the tree. Baltimorean Matt Aaron follows the beat of the voices only he can hear with the above average novelty album Matty Xmas 2 U. Being picked as a shepherd, repetitive Xmas songs, obituaries, naps, owls… it’s all here. For you and yours.
Earl Green’s single “My Christmas Stocking” from his Holiday Ho-Down! album flirts with obscenity, parody, and good old greed. It’s the whole package.
October veered into a whole ‘nother vector with sleep studies. Our first part delved into lullabies. They’re not just for babies, or rather we are such an infantilized nation we need mommying constantly–so, here ya go! Apropos of mediocrity, Brad Tassell and Steve Goodie combine their goy+Jew-ness to oversell their sophomoric comedy album A Kvetchmas Carol (Christmas Meets Hanukkah). Occasional wit sparkles (a non-seasonal song about Merry Thursdays!) amid parodies of ‘Grandma’ and ‘Dreidel.’ You can do a lot worse than this.
Caspar Babypants raises kidsong above the ear worm with the wit of “Alphabet Christmas Lullaby.” Strummin’ and hummin’ like it’s music and not an invitation to stomp/clap/scream, they make a meal of the letters.
November straight out said Go To Sleep to the kids who wanted Santa’s sowings. Since it was largely family songs (yawn), some classic stuff came up. Looks like 1950s Christmas Classics collected these well, Vols. 1, 2, and 3 anyways. Sure, i’ve seen most of these separately, but now there’s a convenient compendium or three. Yeah.
Wolf Blitzer (the band) sweetly serenades us with BLUE ALERT “Go the Fuck to Sleep (Christmas is Coming.” As if that weren’t bad enough, Santa and Jesus get into a knife fight because you’re still awake.
December compounds our night-night with Christmas dreams. They might be REM driven or daily revery, over gifts or girls… but they are not reality. Edgy rockabilly blues from Kerry Pastine & the Crime Scene informs It’s a Crime Scene Christmas! an all-original album of tolerating the holidays, including New Year’s. Saddle up!
Without a series of volumes for that one, allow me to recommend one more album. L’Resorts is a Wisconsin duo who relieves my nostalgia for Timbuk3, as they nasally rock-folk monotone simply the strangest subject matter. Granted Trying to Christmas is all about trees, decorating, and Santa… but those lyrics, guys!
Close call on the most remarkable song of the month as well. But, the 1970s kitsch, the German children’s chorus, the accordion, the lyrics written by Andrew Lloyd Webber and Tim Rice… and Perry effin’ Como! I’m in novelty heaven with “Christmas Dream.” (wish it could share the video, but you’ll have to hit the link; PC’s too big a deal for little blogs)(save for this clip from a movie)
Better luck next Xmas!