Month: July 2024

Pax Vobiscum

Sometimes love Christmas is a wholesome ideal.

Steve Weeks lames on the Elvis impersonation with “Whole Lotta Love at Christmas.” Soul with all the feels.

The Rubettes (feat. Alan Williams) also ladle out the love “Together on Christmas Day.”

Lovely loving in the hard indie “Christmas Love” by Gwens. It’s all we want.

Quiet Quota’s voices crack with sincerity in the show tune “Christmas is Love.” Won’t you let Christmas love you?

The Heebee-jeebees sell the doo wop “Christmas of Love” with a cappella loving. I’m dancing!

Christmas Kids Cottage rock out with “I Really Really Really Love Christmas.” They love it all: Jesus, mashed potatoes, everything!

Don’t forget Make Like Monkeys retro pop “I Love Christmas.” It’s a laundry list of the good stuff, but it rocks.

Elf Love is the Greatest Love of All

Santa’s not the only member of the Christmas cast to need love!

Again! One of my favorite unrequited ballads is from The Rocket Summer about a delivery helper elf who sees HER one year Xmas eve, then returns again and again for an “Elf Creep.” It doesn’t end well.

Squeaky Z amateurs “Little Elf Dude” about some love that MIGHT withstand bad folk ballideering. Watch out for that BLUE ALERT slip at the beginning.

John Gannon’s “Elf in Love” is a tidy showtune of not-quite-successful trusting for subordinates.

Amy Spanger torch-sings (from ‘Elf, The Musical’) “Never Fall in Love with an Elf.” Buddy is erratic at best, so–yeah.

Youth on Track (feat. Ella and Daddy) jazz/pop improv their way around “Dancing with His Elf.” It’s a mess, but heartfelt.

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And sometimes, ol’ Red Suit is a home wrecker.

Jackie West (with Billy West) interrupts a wife-stealing “Santa Santa.” Knives are drawn, windows are violated, shotguns appear… the usual. Folk by way of Jamaica.

George Jones saw “Mom and Santa Claus” twisting that night. He had a look in his eye. Pop country from ’62, so it’s all innocent i’m sure.

At the bar Bill Mader’s old lady ran off with That Guy, so–in appropriate country fashion–he sings “Beer Humbug.” Catchy.

“Santa’s Misbehavin’” when faced with a scantily clad recipient in Kelly Nolf & Wyndi Harp’s country howler. … and Mrs. C found out!

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“Santa Claus Needs Some Lovin’ Tonight” ya dig? Rocky Sharp does. Blues! (Not to be confused with “Santa Claus Wants Some Lovin’” by Albert King. Tha’s smoove.)

Ms. Jody might not intend “Humping Santa” to sound as sexy it does (he works hard, has a bent back…), but never mind. I feel the heat from this soul.

JMaq raps about those lonely urges from our hero in “Get It.” A psychological peek behind the curtain.

In Three Day Threshold & Summer Villains’ “Jingle Jingle” the gifted one is only looking for a girlfriend. He’s courting, if clumsy. Fun folk.

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Santa’s creepin’!

Santa got caught smoochin’ around and got smacked a bit. “Santa’s Movin’ On” ‘cuz of it (and for other reasons) according to Homer and Jethro. Folksy country.

“Santa’s Got a Wish List” is classy R+B euphemism from J. Anthony Brown. It’s food oriented, so, you know.

Rich Evans claims, with dirty blues, “Santa Knows Where All the Bad Girls Go.” Apparently it’s on some list.

Andrea Gower country rocks the children’s tale “Big Bad Wolf Santa.” He’s on the hunt, so keep your receipts!

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He’s still stealing girlfriends!

Jimmie’s in the Basement gets stuck in a loop when “Santa Stole My Girlfriend.” Santa seems to respond to this folk country accusation, but expect no resolution.

Ryan Shields adds to the oeuvre with another “Santa Stole My Girlfriend.” And now SHE’s Mrs. Claus. Country for better or worse.

The Action! catches him in the act. “Santa Claus Stole My Girlfriend” comes in pop flavors, now with more Ska!

Meme Roads gets more specific with “Cajun Santa Stole My Creole Girlfriend.” The cajun is mild seasoning here.

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Keep it in your pants, St. Nick!

Lil Poverty Angels rap and rattle “Santa’s Got Side Chicks.” Don’t blame the playa, blame the beard.

MANNURSE X YUNG FREETHROW (FT. DRAKE) chat, rather than rap, through “Ho Ho Ho.” Many inappropriate gift ideas are listed. Let’s continue.

More rap parody from jennyinstereo who portrays a hounddawg Santa with a trail of conquests and STDs in “Christmas Back.”

Daniel Dennis starts with kidsong, but “Santa Wants a Ho Ho Ho” sneaks pop country into the indelicacies of the North Pole.

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Santa’s not done with his lustful ways, neither!

Again! Bobby Parker grills up the blues for “Sandy Claw Stole My Woman.” Why oh why oh why!

Another again! Crusty Jugglers recount the honkytonkin’ blues of coming home from cross-country trucking and finding “Santa’s Boots” under the bed. Man.

Pressure 28 punk out “Santa, That’s My Wife” with indignation and chagrin. Pogo!

“MY BABY DONE RUN OFF WITH SANTA CLAUS” is the hand-clapping retro rock by JESUS OLDMAN you might want to spend some time with.

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Santa isn’t just loved, he’s loving. He’s after all the womens! (And several of the mens as well.)

This is a familiar topic from before. Let’s expand our susses.

Again! Chris and Bri set up the he-said/she-said torch song “Santa Claus Stole My Girlfriend” with classic comedy writing. If only he’d known Santa was single!

“Santa Stole My Girlfriend” from The Maine indies the trauma (you bitch!), while blaming the self (I should’ve known). Regret runs deep.

Aaron Trippin brings the full force of modern electric country to declare “It’s a Good Thing Santa Ain’t Single” or else he’d be Jolene all over the world.

Thee Elfmen rockabilly about that “Cruel Yule” when he took Baby away. Sound slick, but it ain’t cool

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Let’s just get to the consummation of woman and myth.

Covering up a torrid affair? Blame that guy who is okay to drop by at night! But Unckle Eddie realizes CSanta Claus don’t come in July in “Summertime Santa.” Overly electric blues.

“Rollin’ in the Sheets” is the BLUE ALERT parody of ‘Rollin’ in the Deep’ but with Mr. Christmas making two to tango. Fizzbitch-goon goes all amateur out.

Fred Schneider & the Superions stage the sex act with Santa in “Santa Je T’aime.” It’s not so much a song as an exercise in voyeurism.

On the other mitten, Betty & Jack pretend to play garage rock badly with “I Don’t Want to Fuck You (Santa Claus).” Oh, and BLUE ALERT.

In fact, there’s not enough heterosexual encounters with that jolly old elf. So let’s gay one more time for the rock’n’roll “Sexy Santa” by Red Vs Blue.