School assemblies are a hundred dollars a dozen, so we needn’t tour them all. Let’s sample one or two.Jingle Jury is the trial of Jim Dandy, who doesn’t believe (the jury sings about their dislike of his meanness as an introduction). He raps “Christmas Spirit” about his skepticism. Despite characters from ‘A Christmas Carol’ (“Home“), magi, reindeer and Santa appearing, the songs are few–though the original ones are well written. So, if you’re ready for an evening of missed cues, babies crying, and uncertain talent… you could do worse.
Or we could have fun with the Nativity… More a concept than a musical, ’04’s AD/BC: A Rock Opera is a pastiche of those ‘religious’ rock operas of the ’70s (Jesus Christ Superstar, Godspell). As a big fan of Matt Berry, however, i have to include this. A down-on-his-luck inn keeper sings about his desire to end it all (“May as Well be Dead“), but is interrupted by God telling to keep the inn open as a great star will appear. Herod threatens to foreclose on the inn (“Your Rent is Overdue“) (and move in on the missus), and the keeper thinks Tony Iscariot will be the big star. So his troubled wife sings about being the troubled wife of an innkeeper (“Being an Innkeeper’s Wife“). Poor keeper gives up hope (again) in “Mumbo and Jive.” Then Jo happens by and wonders “Is There a Room at the Inn?” It finalizes with the birth and the whole cast “Makin’ Love Right Now.” Holy groovy.
It’s Christmas Eve, and the interstate in Virginia has closed due to major snowstorms… so begins Cameron Kent’s Welcome to Virginia holiday musical. It’s standard fare, which is not as easy as it sounds. Colorful characters finding meaning when stuck together reeks of revue. The mean ol’ billionaire considers Christmas a “Money-Making Machine.” It’s winky whimsy. The janitor points out that if you’re in such a goldang ol’ hurry “You’re Doing Christmas Wrong.” It wants you to comically look inwards. The hitchhiker fills his “Redneck Christmas” with one-dimensional cliches. But then the pregnant widow (get it?) brings us down mourning her late dad-to-not-be in “My Precious Earl.” Folksy blue. Tick, check, and gotcha.
But they come together, backing and bickering with one another, like in “I Can’t Catch a Break.” Better lyrics makes good music shine. “Turkey and Stuffing Blues” stands out as a cry for overeating help. (Which oddly overshadows “Ain’t No Problem Christmas Can’t Cure“–the surefire big number. But ’tis mumbo jumbo pop psychology.) The rest is sad sentimentality.
To counteract the affects of such original sin, let’s take aJourney to Bethlehem, a big budget new cinematic release with first-timers (incl. director) recreating the Nativity as a superhero kind of thing.
Naturally, trad carols spring to the soundtrack readily. Not into that old ground. The new stuff comes on strong. Herod about steals the show with the show stopping “Good to be King” (Antonio Banderas) but later goes through an identity crisis with the rocking “In My Blood” (Joel Smallbone). Over the top melodrama, but okay. The ‘rents duet their troubles with a string “Can We Make This Work?” but answer at the birth with a sweet “We Become We” (Fiona Palomo, Milo Manheim). You see where this is going? Pop songs to go viral with old news. The magi (Omid Djalili, Rizwan Manji, Geno Segers) rap to heavily orchestration in “Three Wise Guys” to lesser value. (They argue over who has the best gift. Huh.) And, earlier on, the girls (Fiona Palomo, Mōriah, Stephanie Gil) gossip about “Mary’s Getting Married,” a busy pop tickle like you would get in any B’way show. Not sure ’bout that one.
The finale, “Brand New Life,” is that Xian rock scene with drum beating and pounding rhythms and hopping resurrecting a 1979 mosh pit. We the Kingdom (feat Steven Curtis Chapman) give life or at least a three-year-old’s energy to the old story. Bravo/amen.
Then there’s Forest Whitaker, Jennifer Hudson, Jacob Latimore, and Luke James fooling around with Black Nativity. Too many standard carols to get a good review from moi. The songs are the usual gospel rousers (“Be Grateful,” “As“), which are barely positive as the characters are so bedeviled with urban strife (“Hush Child (Get You Through This Silent Night)“). This isn’t THE Christmas Story, just a modern fable (from a Langston Hughes piece) that hearkens back. Redemption comes at the cost of humiliation. Yet the gospel offerings aren’t just up-getters that make you rise; they grip the soul and make you shiver. Stand out numbers include the inimitable Jennifer Hudson’s “Test of Faith,” and the incomparable Forest Whitaker’s (backed by the Gospeldelic Choir) “Can’t Stop Praising His Name.”
I’m not familiar with anyone who watches the Mouseketeer Annette Funicello 1961 Babes in Toyland as a Christmas movie. But it purports to be. This fairy tale about star-crossed lovers Mary Contrary and Tom Piper and the badman, Barnaby, who separates them with murder and worse eventually lands on a Toymaker whose ware will become Xmas gifts. She’s dumb (“I Can’t Do the Sum“) and he’s odd (crossdresses as a gypsy for “Floretta“). They fight monster trees (“Forest of No Return“) and toy versions of each other (“Just a Toy“). So you see, it IS all about the toys (“Workshop Song” with Ed Wynn)!
Tessa Barcelo’s workshopped project Toyland (Live) updates all the feels, so the doomed lovers are toys, but not the Barbie you know (“Good Girl Gone Bad“), nor a boy in a book (“Starcrossed“), but there is a fed up AF elf (“Christmas for Today” BLUE ALERT). Then, the economics of planned obsolescence muddies the waters (“Supply and Demand“). It continues darkly with “Tamogatchi Lullaby” (BLUE ALERT) and “Broken.” Abandonment issues, poor things.
Spirited is the Netflix low concept (‘A Christmas Carol’ sequel for the ghosts!) that shoots the moon for musical numbers. Each pulls out all the stops despite how short they are, so that you’re exhausted only part-way through. “That Christmas Mornin’ Feeling” stomps. “Bringing Back Christmas” razzle dazzles. “Unredeemable” overreaches. Near the finale the songs calm down, yet “Do a Little Good” is a folk showstopper that evolves into gospel rafter raising. I do admit “Good Afternoon” is one of the few oh-so-original concepts that winds me up. Yeah, this C- movie was one of those muffed opportunities that drew in the mob, only to leave us unfulfilled. Let’s not dwell….
But, then there’s the Janis Dunson Wilson approach. It starts with the children missing their wayward father, who’s praying for hope (“Is There Anybody Up There?”). Pretty terrifying. The angel, a female Clarence, raps–then leads us in a spiritual (with scat). The story’s in spotty flashback (Zoom) from the ending. But “Do You Want the Moon?” is a better character piece here. Potter’s threatening “Pity” comes off just Snidley Whiplash enough. And Clarence’s “Guardian Angel Second Class” oddly works as calypso. “Anyone Will Do” is the brilliant burlesque number in the Potterville bar. It’s all better storytelling, if only amateurish music.
Not every ‘A Christmas Carol’ musical will grace us on the blog, but we can’t help but point out the odd AND big-budgeted.
Sprightly folk decorates GreenMatthews’s A Christmas Carol: A Folk Opera. This feels like a reading of the novelette set to popular folk dance reels. Different.
Q Brothers Christmas Carol is the present day mockup rap of the old Scroogery. And, boy, is Scrooge crotchety. Aggro! as in “Stave 1” (his sack of money and his home security system are treated as characters). Marley is, wait for it, Rastafarian. I get it! In “Stave 2” the past revisits OTHER Dickens characters Pip and Martin Chuzzlewit as the Scrooge posse. And Fezzywig is Fezzy’s Wigs Shoppe. Funny stuff. In “Stave 3” the Cratchits have rabies, tinnitus, and are on the transplant list (hacking solo). “Stave 4” is the Future, but it’s oddly electronic. Then it gets sympathetically sentimental. I bought it: the wit, the energy, the meaning.
