Month: October 2021

Christmas Countdown: 2019

2020 gets all the noise, but i wanna include Brett Laffin’s highly amusing “Christmas in Lockdown [2020]” here because this pop banger sadly reminisces about the innocence off 2019. And bc otherwise i wouldn’t have enough songs to fit here.

Malinda’s back (ft. schmoyoho) with climate change (& Greta inspired student walkouts) and–even worse–the Game of Thrones finale. On the bright side, Baby Yoda! “An Honest Christmas 2019” runs for cover for the next year with its a cappella parodies. Whoops.

Chuckklez goes BLUE ALERT about what 2019 can do in “Silent Night Unholy Night.” Tinkling metal.

Industry electro-pop hymn always has a home here. on the blog, so yung walnut’s “Christmas Special 2019” is the lead-in music we HAVE been looking for. Thank you, it was quite a wait.

Colin Carbonera gets fingerpoppin’ and bongo(heart)beating with some soulful “Happy Birthday, Jesus.” He wants to party like it’s 2019. Me, too. (This was also published in 2020.)

Christmas Countdown: 2020

Now for historical documents: songs that salute the year they hail from. Hindsight? Not much! Anger? Oh, yeah.

Malinda does her annual Xmas card with “An Honest 2020 Christmas.” Her angel/devil debate over how sucky the year was includes murder hornets, John Krasinski, TikTok, and global death totals. Much witty parodising of carols.

A different approach comes from The Holderness Family, whose “Christmas Jammies 2020” (a tradition beginning in 2013) celebrates drive throughs, less pollution, UFO acknowledgments, ‘Parasite,’ and the Christmas Star (juxtaposition of Saturn and Jupiter). Rap (The Killers) parody upness.

“2020: A Virtual Christmastime” by Sam Gecko (feat. Kristen Leah) is a lively pop tune about Covid and masking and isolating and whatnot. Party! I said, Party! I can’t hear you! No, you’re on mute.

Actual parody–now about Hanukkah!–The Waitresses don’t quite take a back seat for Haim’s “Christmas Wrapping 2020 (all I want for christmas is a vaccine).” The election, cutting one’s own hair, emotional meltdowns… oy vey.

Buck Æ Down appropriately downers the year with superlatives. Fine folk is “2020 Christmas” with its class warfare, police brutality, racism, and economic failure. And Alex Trebek?!

Upbeating, The Sons of Pitches (feat. Dan Bull) a cappella “Best Christmas” about hand washing and vaccines and whistling!

Desperate for positivism, Nathan Ro goes lounge easy listening for his “2020 Christmas.” Great masking joke.

Dominique’s “2020 Christmas” is ethereal pop about over drinking and all the reasons to do so (12?).

Christmas Countdown: 2000s [BLUE ALERT]

Multiples of two thousands aren’t as easy to graph into our curve, but “Smell of Christmas” by Johnathan Boggarty and the Yoghurt Man must not be overlooked due to its experimental pop and grisly nature. The tons of whiskey needed to get through the horrors of the holidays outweigh the dead dog, blindness, broken families, suicidal tendencies, and overpowering odors of Santa. Happy merry.

Christmas Countdown: 2600

Jonathan Coulton and John Roderick hearken us back to 1977 and the best present a kid could hope for, the Atari Computer Video System–a game you could play on your TV that wasn’t Pong. Also known as the “2600,” this quantum leap in technology began the decline of Western Civilization. Who didn’t want to be the first kid on the block with one?! Repetitive pop madness.

Christmas Countdown: 3,000

Michael Shelton’s biochemistry lesson “3,000 Xmas Lights” is a tripping rock romance fantasy in which the Xmas metaphor is the least disturbing aspect. in the final line.

Mindy Smith isn’t getting home for Christmas. “The Snow and Three Thousand Miles” is yet another missing-you missive to music, this time slow country pop. Chin up, ye separated ones, love will find a way.

Crooning with tremolo, Stan Rogers laments that “First Christmas” 3000 miles away from home, working the holiday shift in the shop. Classic country downer. But, wait, maybe he’ll meet that runaway girl escaping domestic abuse….

OHEI & 500 Year Food duet a sparkly jazz mood with “Christmas in LA (or NY)” about taking sides for Xmas. Long dee relationships, a’know?

This Century is also closing the gap between long distance lovers. “Kiss Me Like It’s Christmas” smacks the pop with gusto and hope, despite being a continent away.

Christmas Countdown: 4,000

Whoops, lemme sneak some I missed: With 6000 miles between us, Gastronomical Unit wants to funk you a “Christmas from Far Away.” Damn, that’s good.

And, should give a nod to Sam & Bill’s “Hanukkah Party.” 5759 is the date for the Diaspora, I presume. Got this in album form (Christmas in July) only, but boy is this worth it. Or cut to 3:24 and join the worst party ever. BLUE ALERT!

Unfortunate parodies of novelty songs bode poorly, but the randomness of “All I Want for Christmas is a Two Ton Sheep” with its zany electronica and spoiled child vocals saves the day. Wool done, W. Michael Lewis.

Christmas Countdown: 9,000

Tim Minchin’s what’s-it-all-about-anyway Christmas song “White Wine in the Sun” is folk pop wisdom which truly celebrates the agnostic aspects of a religious holiday. He doesn’t say NOT, he doesn’t say YEP, but he does like the excuse to get together–even with his daughter (whose birth is celebrated when the song was written 2009) who may LATER be nine thousand miles away and called upon to reunite as family. I mean, was JC home for his birthday every year?

Christmas Countdown: 10,000

“When U C Me” from K-Drama culture rap-ferences Christ and his Xmas with the wish list of ten thousand souls he’s putting on his hit list. City life is tough.

Ten thousand miles apart was the cruelest winter in Heaven, according to Gareth Moulton’s “Cloud Cover (The Boys).” Poetic misery by means of unplugged light rock.

A fascination with the “Fairy Lights” makes _Patrickconnor smile. Folk psychedelia touches upon ten thousand smiles on Christmas Eve, otherwise–huh?

“Christmas Eve” by Nickel Creek is a sad alt-rock breakup song for Xmas. He’s got ten thousand words to say–and hope–but they don’t help.

The Caroleers bring down the countdown with the observation of “Ten Thousand Santa Clauses (But Not One Gift for Me).” Kidsong with a caution: careful what you grasp for.

Hey Kye is eco-shocked to see so many Christmas trees mown down after procuring their own up high like “The Mountain Goats.” Folk guilt-inducement.