Plenty of Christmas albums tout ‘secular’ songs about snow, sled rides, family, and a certain carmine-clad gentleman. But a few songs go the extra mile to hale the day and scoff the deity. At least one day of celebrational tunes should embrace all that is not Christmas around this time of year. It’s a bit like NOT thinking about elephants, ergo difficult to be different than. But a coupla songs define that mathematical set.
Dave Jay taunts the separation of church and state with “A Very Merry Federal Secular Holiday.” This rocks, but it’s really about Christmas Christmas Christmas. Shame on you for considering it otherwise.
YNW Melly comes from another direction with “No Holidays.” This reggae funk rap allows that some of us are way too down to get Gee Dee Merry (Yeah, BLUE ALERT).
Privilege allows Singalong Songs to offer a PC non-offensive carol for kids. ‘It doesn’t matter’ should not be a refrain for happy day, but their “Christmas Holiday Song” is a great party dance number. (They do avoid the term Christmas in the song, don’t know why it’s in the title.)
I lovelovelove Dan Bull’s lovefest folk-rap “Secular Song in Celebration of the 25th of December.” He goes to some length to list for you everything that should be noted for 12/15 that’s not Christ. Get a pen.
The easy way out is to mock carols with word-substitutions. Whatever. The BBC radio series And Now in Colour had a culture-bound bit about “Christmas Carols for Atheists.” Anglophiles rejoice.
Howard Billington reinterps testament from the non-believers’ POV with the fun and catchy pop “Atheist Christmas Song (The Meaning of Christmas).”
Tom Tighe gets more folk serious playing Jesus just a man in “I am Not a Wandering Angel (An Atheist Christmas Carol).” Yikes, it’s not about God after all.
Necessary repeat: “Santa is an Atheist” is finger-popping jazz fun from Casey McKinnon. Weee!
“An Atheist’s Christmas” which gets play because of Taiwanese animation is a mixed bag of the broken toys who don’t have God in their lives. Dreadful clubpop rap thanks to Tomo News.
Vienna Teng’s gorgeous symphonic number “The Atheist’s Christmas Carol” is so holy mystical i could hear a church choir render this to uplift all souls. It’s not contrary, only using human as the measure of miracles.
I’m not in the habit of posting songs in Austrian, but “I’m an Atheist (A Christmas Song)” is a clever coming-out pop number dressed up in an admission to atheism. Strange days.
Second City has a “Carol for the Rest of Us” about how atheists fake it to get along. Wotta production.
Much more focused, “A Christmas Song for the Doubtful” from Anna Robinson admits ‘notthatthere’sanythingwrongwiththat,’ but nails the back-and-forth with strong folk.
Freedom Kerl gets the anti-spirit in his DIY rock song “An Atheist Christmas Song.” Let’s focus on the gifts!
Dan Margarita (cheers to that name) straddles folk with “An Atheist Christmas Song.” He allows for the jolly holiday, but whines about his minorityism. Punchy rapping fun.
Follow Robert Crenshaw’s mystical folk ’70s rock journey to his “Atheist Christmas.” He wasn’t born yesterday (in a manger), he’s working this one out for pure bliss.