Month: July 2019

It’s All Relative, Santa & Son

Is Santa the dad to beat all? Aren’t we all his family?

John Goodman sings about how everybody is somebody in “Santa’s Family.” It’s a showtune from ‘Rudolph the Red-Nosed Reindeer, The Movie.’ Slow jazzy ragtime, but still treacly kidpop.

We all wish it, don’t we? “Wouldn’t It be Fun to be Santa Claus’s Son?” revisits our site now by Joanie Bartels. Kidsong cliche.

Maybe he really has his own kid. “Willie Claus, Little Son of Santa Claus” gets a cover by Jaye D. Marie to explain why kids are more trouble than they’re worth. Kid country on speed.

The “Son Of St. Nick” might turn out okay in the end. Swoony folk from Kelly Nolf & Wyndi Harp rocks out the possibility. Wotta hunk.

Santa’s daughter, on the other hand, is a handful. Soca from RemBunction tells the story of “Samantha Claus (I’m a Big Boy).” She brings out the little boy in the big boy with her presence.

I mean, does Santa even procreate? In “New Elf in the Family” Three Day Threshold and Aedan Byrnes revival folk rock out how Mr. and Mrs. Claus make more slaves. Blessed event, or bottom line?

It’s All Relative, parody

While they’re all singing regular Christmas carols, you’ll be mouthing these angry resentments under your breath. Tee hee, they have no clue!

Lisa and Brian O’Neill do a pretty slick job on the begging-for-it “The Most Dysfunctional Time of the Year.” Toe tapping cringe-worthy fun.

Vaguely similar to ‘No Place Like Home’ “Dysfunctional Family Holidays” from The Dysfunctional Family Band serves out warnings of the landmines relatives have waiting for you and yours. Country lite honky tonk.

’12 Days’ gets a folk to-do listing with “The Family Christmas Survival Guide.” Jennifer Knapp and Margaret Becker vent and rant with style.

It’s All Relative, happy together

The unbridled joy of gathering up the whole family for a big 12:25 blowout can not be contained. Joyous Noel, suckas!

Sometimes it’s just a shared sense of horsin’ around with those who GET IT. Kim Townsend shares a houseful of goofs with bluegrass gospellin’ “Family Christmas Song.” It’s like grampa burlesque.

Elgelbert Humperdink almost sings an emotion with his celebration of “A Christmas for the Family.” Easy listening stoicism.

Also measured and careful, 2nd Timothy 3:16 intones ‘Joy… JOY!’ in their pop “Christmas Time with the Family.” Monotonic.

Perhaps a reggae beat will convince you of the level of happiness? Richard Gamble’s “Mr. Chill Brings His Family and Friends” to a kids’ party of Xmas proportions. Okay, half baked.

Punk it up! Pretty Boy Floyd turns it up with “Happy Family” a paean to, well, the title! It’s upbeat with the appropriate screaming.

It’s All Relative, oh… THEM

Not every family is YOUR family, especially not for Christmas. Some are iconic, others illustrative.

Most of these songs are amateur offerings to be kept behind family trees. “The Royalty Family X-mas” from The Royalty Family channel is just begging for attention with his slurring, her cleavage, and the little one’s ‘tude. Ragged rap.

The Sentimental Favorites detail the musses and fusses of the “Roelle Family Christmas.” Actually, i may have gotten onion rings on the way home from family gatherings my own self. Pop folk wackadoo.

It’s All Relative, from afar

Nothing measures love like the cost of a plane ticket. Will you travel ALL the way over the river AND through the woods to get to the Christmas jubilee at PeePaw’s and MeeMaw’s? Well, then you win Best Child, ya ol’ prodigal, you.

Some of those out-of-towners ain’t so welcome, y’see. Duck Logic Comedy counsel you with folksy patience in “An Extended Family Christmas.” Who are all these weirdos?

Just as twisted, the elderly reunion of Olivia Newton John and John Travolta for Christmas in the country pop “I Think You Might Like It” is as authentic as her lips and his orientation. Ooky.

Soul directs Ron Tyson to appreciate the whole pack when he croons “I’m Gonna be with My Family for Christmas.” Finger popping and doo-doo-dooing ensues. (And tears.)

Modern folk gospel sets the scene for Vincent Knight’s “Family Christmas.” This honest prayer of returning home is sad, sweet, and solemn.

It’s All Relative, alternatives

‘Sgotta be the Mom/Dad rigidity? Is their any wiggle room for what makes a family around the holidays? Well, welcome to the 21st!

Jess Domain & The Verve Jazz Ensemble sing about the “New Family Christmas” about how everyone at the party is family now. It even confounds Santa, that officious record keeper! Peppy (not sultry) jazz. Kickline!

Derek Ryan breathily praises “Friends are Family” with pursed-lip pop. Trying too hard to make up for something.

Justin Frech has exercised choice with his ‘Jingle Bells’ tuned “Internet Family.” Time online is bonding and makes you believe you can be a musician, too! (Sad.)

It’s All Relative, past perfect

The best families are the ones we frame up in gauzy, filmy memories. Were they ever so golden? Who cares, nostalgia makes us real!

Peter Scales picks and grins “Christmas with Our Family” as a tribute to yesteryear. This alt folk gazes through amber to see great food, presents, and family in rosy hues. Sigh.

Poorly tracked so that the guitar drowns out the vocals (thank you) Dave Seely unthaws 1966 to jazz croon “The Family Christmas.” Sounds like a stroke.

The Four Preps are really old but sing about being young. Recall “The Family Time of Year” with them on the oldy oldies wavelength with old fashioned sentiment and expression that doesn’t mean much any more.

A real purdy piano noodle from Silent Film enlarges the past with “Christmas at Our House.” Then the violin and… i’m a mess! Poetic.

It’s All Relative, faux fam

Can you fake a family? ‘Course you can! ‘Tis the season to fool Pee and Em about your marital status.

Is this really a problem?! Please re-listen to Sara Baker’s “(I Hate) Every single Christmas,” a showtune about nosy relates who wanta know about your lovelife, martial status, childbearing possibilities…. Eeek.

Team Natu has a folksy upbeat number in “Christmas Man.” I’m not sure if this guy’s a Craigslist ad, but you get the idea. Funny stuff.

It’s All Relative, not enough

It could always be worse. Too much family for Christmas! How ’bout NO family for Christmas? Even Scrooge had a nephew came to say hey.

Now, it is possible to make millions with a kid who wants NO family. The Gregory Brothers songify a brilliant bit “The Home Alone Song.” Hilarity intones.

Cam Clarke, the voice of a million cartoon characters, showcases the orphan’s showtune “Family” from the cartoon feature ‘Night Before Christmas: Songs from Enchanted Tales.’ Pretty sad.

What’s rougher than orphanism ’round the holidays? Having to hear about it from pop country sermonizers! Newsflash Singers tell you when you to cry with “I Want a Family for Christmas.” The kid’s con works pretty well… i mean, happy endings for all!

Steven Curtis Chapman plays the little tough orphan who hopes for redemption. “All I Really Want for Christmas” is gospel pop with a better guiding hand on the heartstrings.

It’s All Relative, too much!

New boyfriend? Bring ‘im! In-laws? C’mover! Blended fam? Uh-what! We’re running out of room around the holidays in our cozy house! Chaos!!

The happy-party-lovefest version of this sounds like Peter Andre with horns and uke and jazz and “Christmas Time’s for Family.” Can’t stop smiling!

Ross Bagdasarian (aka David Seville of Chipmunks fame) returns with “Let’s Have a Merry Merry Christmas” about the car crash of family get-togethers. 1953 big band pop hijinks.

In-laws are a popular bitch for Christmas. The Christmas Pranksters check the parody box with “My In-Laws are Coming to Town,” which i guess smells worse than Santa Claus doing that.

Celtic wonder from Mark Cummings also worried about “Inlaws Coming to
Town.” Now it’s philosophical questions rather than rando rants. Thoughtful crying.