Month: February 2019

HATE Xmas.08

Blah blah blah hate Christmas, who cares other lyrics–big hit. Right? Or these:

Michael George Sippo is playing at singing, so his “I Hate Christmas” (Blue Alert) is an exercise in rhythm machine doggerel. What was the question?

Half a minute of metal screech makes a sorta song “I Hate Christmas” by Collision. Gets right to the pointless.

Lovely hair metal (parody?) from Whiplash gets the gang joining in on “I Hate Christmas.” Redundant sing-along fun.

Aussies Weekend Rockstars madlib out the rockabilly pop with “I Hate Christmas.” It rhymes so hard it makes you believe in its song-like qualities.

HATE Xmas.07 BLUE ALERT

Is it fun to hate of the the happiest time of year? Some of these songs pile on, without much rationalization.

Snap-Her punks the premise with “I Hate Christmas.” Why? It’s stupid, that’s why! Yah! BLUE ALERT

Catholic School Girls redundantly inundate us with redundancy in “I Hate Christmas,” a BLUE ALERT speedy screed of garage rage. Just ‘cuz.

Least intelligibly, Lerker throat shreds “I Hate Christmas” to pop metal. Yes, BLUE ALERT. Band practice as anger management.

HATE Xmas.06

It’s all a trick! It’a all advertising! It’s all lies! Xmas isn’t real enough. So I’m getting mad.

Singin’ Steve allows Teddy, the cat, to go on and on in “I Hate Christmas.” After the treacly kidsong, he interrupts to pull a Linus true meaning preamble.

On the other genre, Psychostick metal screams out their “Holiday Hate” making every aspect of the season hypocritically horrid. It’s HOW they say it.

Rusty Cage made a name for himself online with his ‘Knife Game Song.’ (He’s got merch.) His “Christmas Knife Game Song” is a muckraking expose of the Christmas con. Whadya gointa do about it, punk? Infectiously bouncy showtune.

HATE Xmas.05

That stupid Santa, the terrible tinsel, ludicrous lights… i could just explode! All together these are the thousands drops of water torture.

Ambivalently, Malach! Poe offkey garages “Dear Christmas (I Kind of Hate You).” Can’t commit to a feeling, or a key–the whole number is verisimilitude malaise.

Do You Hear What I Hear (feat. Joseph Cimino) salsas up the bad feelings with “I Hate the Holidays.” Because of a suggestion of singing curative, this smacks of aversion therapy.

Dr. BLT begins with general hating, but “I Hate Christmas (And Other Lies)” rosters up the fa la la loathing about the the little things around your decorated home. Is he kidding? Country fun.

HATE Xmas.04

Many are the causes of stress from mid-December on, but woe be unto those who simply hate the festoonery of Christmas for hate’s sake. (Millennials!)

NewJerseyite punkfolk band Where’s My Spaceship leans in on the bogus family time with “Everybody Hates Christmas.” But BLUE ALERT the real message is how horrible the inconvenience of special time cuts into not doing anything in particular.

A bit too blasé to hate, Zoe Sky Jordan phones in “I Hate Christmas” with a melodic folk pop list of peevish complaints: headache, interested friends, lack of life’s goals. Hoo boy.

Groovy piano lounge from Billy West as Ren & Stimpy tricks out “I Hate Christmas.” Kids, friends, family, singing, treats–gag me with a cliche! Have mare-cee!

Johnny Setlist noodles around the piano to stream out his consciousness about how big a let down he has it “Befallen This Christmas.” Yeah, maybe for everyone else. For me–is that all there is?

HATE Xmas.03

Let’s remember this is all ironic: Christmas is made for joy and forgiveness and party puking–no regrets!

So, in the spirit of opposite day, time for the exaggerated cartoony fun.

Some don’t like the Adam Sandler cartoon ‘Eight Crazy Nights’ but i’m a fan. “Davey’s Song” is about the tragic orphan hating on the night he lost his family. Hilarious show tune.

Also movie derived, House of Breaking Glass’s “A Very Grumpy Christmas” from ‘Grumpy Cat’s Christmas’ adds a little ragtime to a miserable time. You’re welcome.

Casey Shea recounts another tough time around the holidays in “Worst Christmas Ever.” Keep an eye open for hopin’ near the end….

HATE Xmas.02

Hate, like love, is blind. Not that it didn’t spring from some tainted source, but it blows the misunderstandings, missed opportunities, and misgivings all out of proportion.

Thusly, some ragin’ rationalizations:

Sharpece with House of Breaking Glass R+B gospelize “Worst Time of Year.” Broken heart, baby, hurts worse in a season of love. Munh-hunh.

I’m not sure, but i think Sufjan Stevens’s “That was the Worst Christmas Ever!“–also with banjo, but now more gentle folk–was spoiled due to lack of self actualization (or the dad was an abusive drunk). ‘S-hard to tell with all the new age haiku introspection.

By Surprise go appropriately offkey with their “Worst Christmas Ever.” But, see, it’s a fakeout, bc the ‘worst’ is a distant memory compared to right now–when you’re about to meet the ‘rents. (Girl, ima take it as a bad sign that he’s SO insistent–this may gonna be YOUR worst.)

HATE Xmas.01

The holidays are the best, right? Well, not for everyone. Not every year. For any variety of rationalizations, sentiments run red to black concerning the merry and the jolly and the joy.

Some songs, then, for the angered, the frustrated, the hater.

A couple years into Youtube Premium’s pay channel original content the holiday movie ‘The Keys of Christmas’ revamped ‘Carol’ with big musical stars and a few musical numbers. “Christmas is a Bitch” is Rudy Mancuso’s Scrooge-type character complaining on a grand piano outside at night. Showtune.

REM backbeats some maundering mumblings for their “Christmas Griping.” How do you like them crabbles?

We can always count on Arrogant Worms to deliver absurd mixed messages musically. “Christmas Sucks!” is klezmer character assassination done right (although Grayson174 is a little heavy handed with the hilarious memes).