The king of maladies, the doomsday diagnosis, the terminal terminology this is the big C. Not Christmas (although the latter does get the capitalization). Two cs together and you have 2cc of uncomfortable song.
First off, Johnny Hobo and The Freight Trains punk up the idea “I Want Cancer for Christmas” BLUE ALERT by refusing joy and hope with a blazing middle finger to life. (I’ve posted this before, and there’s no actual mention of cancer in it… but meager pickings. And it’s catchy. And there’s a dozen covers by fans online.)
Balancing out the anger is the schmaltz of Carolyn of the Choir with “Pink Christmas,” a jazzy siren song sentimentalizing the survival of it all.
Okay, we went all that way so i could share Double Plus Good with you. This Something Awful contribution, “Cancer for Christmas,” stands alone in its MOR orchestration, country caterwauling, and ironic horribleness. It might ruin you. (‘Santa’s taking Grandpa to Heaven in his sleigh.’)
