Month: January 2019

Sick of Christmas: infirmity

Who cares what the symptoms are?! I’m sick–just… not well, of ill health, indisposed, out of it… o KAY!?

“It Sucks Being Sick at Christmas” is a belabor of love for Andy Bashford. Coulda been half as long, but so coulda the sickness. Alt folk pop.

Andina and Rich take “It Sucks Being Sick at Christmas” to a spiritual level. But it’s music hall comedy folk doggerel.

Joel Faviere equates mood with malady in his alt pop “Sick on Christmas Eve.” He needs some company to cure him. But with that falsetto, i dunno.

MXPX bestows punk to the suffering. “Too Sick for Christmas” cuts right to the heart of the meat: don’t. want. to. party. ‘m. sick.

Sick of Christmas: pyrexia

Not well around Christmas? Let me feel your forehead with a nog-crusted back of my hand! You’re hot! (Not in the good way.)

Charlelie Couture funks up the American rock with a pop “Christmas Fever.” You listen, you catch it.

Nicovia and Larix actually name “Christmas Fever” with their list of Kringley symptoms. Soul pop.

Rob Vallier goes a bit jazz-easy listening with his “Christmas Fever” about his lovey dovey.

Carneta Geiss and Anita Sablik are simply pop with their “Christmas Fever.” It’s on the radio, every TV show. Find a cure!

Paul and Richard Freitas sang the parody “Christmas Fever” back in 1957, but got made into a Timmy Christmas doll for a 1981 rerelease.


Sick of Christmas: emesis

Toss your cookies, Ralph! We know you’re sick when you puke, barf, vomit, upchuck, or chunder. And we’ll give you space enough to drive the porcelain bus.

Enough of that! April Smith and the Great Picture Show are merely metaphorical with “Christmas Threw up All Over You.” This is kiddie ragtime expressing concern in how you overdo the season. As if.

But Arrogant Worms spews a great big band electronica “Dad Threw up on Christmas Day.” Man, that’s tasty novelty!


Sick of Christmas: influenza

Influenza can be influential on your holiday joy. What could be worse? (We’ll find our tomorrow.)

Bubble Gum Becky from Mighty Magical Pants tells us nothing could be worse than the “Flu on Christmas.” Gift over!

Right Between the Ears parodies ‘Blue’ with “Flu for Christmas.” Stage frightening.

Prophylactically, nurses from Barnet and Chase Farm Hospitals lip sync to the parody “I Don’t Want a Christmas with Flu” sung by Jennifer Redston. Fun-lovers, yeah, they want you to get shot. (Um, a shot.)

ELFIS also warns “I Want an H1N1 Shot for Christmas.” Swine Flu phobia, much. It’s a ‘Hipopotamus’ take off.

‘Course Bob Rivers delivers with his ‘Sleigh Ride’ parody “Flu Ride.” Classy coughing routine.

Sick of Christmas: tussis

Christmas is a time of socializing, no one wants to be hiccoughing or sneezing or hacking or unable to catch their wind. Conversate like a good fellow! In out in out!

The Branches Youth Choir bring us “The Coughing, Sneezing Blues” for Christmas. It’s white people, so blues with privilege.

Yet Monica Sottile has bless(you)ed us a fine dreamy alt-piece “Christmas = Mine (cough cough)” not exactly about illness (altho there are some fine undernotes of throat clearance), but certainly about December’s malaise.

Sick of Christmas: mucus music

Stuffed noses are not stuffed turkeys. ‘Snot nice around the holidays.

Beth McDonald has a “Snotty Christmas Song” just for you young parents. Noni Dolphin does this a bit better.

Zetallon Gaming follows with more parody of carols via “‘Tis the Season to be Snotty.”

Since these are all childish, silly, overly broad descents into tomfoolery, let’s feature the one with the nose-blowing sfx: “Rudolph the Runny-Nosed Reindeer” by Bartok Music (no one’s taking credit for this).

Sick of Christmas: nasopharyngitis

According to the CDC colds come on gradually, have sore throats and sneezing (but rarely chills or fever–that’s the flu).

So you’ve decided to come down with something that’s not just depression. Wait, you’re not sure? Take this simple test: does the song “Christmas Cold” by Cheryl Ladd in a hideous wig and Kaitlin Maher, ditto, (from ‘Santa Paws 2: The Santa Pups’) make you feel ill? If not, you already ARE ill!

Only a year after the ‘Hippo’ hit, Gayla Peevey is back at it. 1954’s “Got a Code in the Node for Christmas” is precious and saccharine and all those other words that don’t exactly mean awful.

Cowboy Billy is nasally country twangy with “I Always Get a Cold for Christmas.” Earnest, if not Ray Stevens ready.

The least worst sniffley snuffley songey will have to be “I Got a Cold for Christmas” from the delirious Three Stooges. Stay on beat, stay on beat.

Sick of Christmas: viral hits

Surely the coughing and snotting this time of year must result in woe. Let us sing of the pain.

Bringing the hurt is Vincent Zarletti in one of those ‘worst Christmas song’ contests. “The Christmas Virus” seems to begin on the cookies, but rises to showtune heights.

Arrogant Worms take it easy on the suffering with some fast-paced blue grass: “Vincent the Christmas Virus.” I’ve caught the St. Vitus Dance!

Jeff Elva, well known in the calypso world as the Mighty Pelay, brings da riddim with “Christmas Virus.” It’s in the air, it’s everywhere. And dad be duh gud ting. It da midey feelun ub Kreesmus.

Sick of Christmas: malingering

Perhaps you have a good reason for being “sick”? What if you had to work?!

“Calling in Sick at Christmas” doesn’t hint at what awful occupation Harley and the Hoggbites are dodging. Who’s out there? Police, firefighters, air traffic controllers, doctors… nobody important we can’t do without. Nasal country honky tonk.

Sick of Christmas: hypochondria

The stresses of Christmasses may lower one’s ability to robustly fend off gramma kisses, fruitcake offers, and viruses.

Or we just want more attention than JC is getting.

So we might express our ill health a tad more emphatically than we experience it.

Red State Update present a poor sufferer unable to join in the tidings “Too Sick for Christmas.” Genius redneck traditional easy listening. [Why is he singing from inside a bowl of popcorn? Why not!]