Some of these Christmas trees got names. Does that make you regret stuffing them in the trash?
“Chris the Dancing Christmas Tree” actually tells about the redeemed artificial arboreal offering. Charles ‘Kingman’ Hardman sells this old world kidsong as AI robotic fun, with no threat to humanity at all.
“Pee Wee the Christmas Tree” from Karen Newsum makes that small tree less pathetic with a name. Maybe a little. He sure wants to get cut. Country.
Preston Penn, oddly, also knows a “Little Pee Wee (Christmas Tree)” who similarly suffers survivor’s remorse year after year while the rest of the forest goes away. Old-timers’ pop.
“Greenie the Christmas Tree” is also too small to make the cut. Barbara E Leigh is singing to that left behind kid in you. Hey, this IS the same pee wee song.
Jeffrey Lefevre wittily rhymes out “Wilby the Christmas Tree.” In a dirge of a holiday polka we learn what this tree will be. (Yours, silly.)
Here’s a tree you may not know. “Freddie the Little Fir Tree” is–all right, it’s the same little guy that wants to be hacked, sold, and eventually discarded. He’s so happy to have a short life! Sigh. But. it’s Gene Autry!
“Mr. Dancing Christmas Tree” might be some excuse for a party, but i believe GT’s kidsong that implies some magic made it come to life one day.
Finally, the change of pace we’ve been scouring for. The Yobs punk up the children’s tune “Tommy the Christmas Tree.” This tree still gives its life for us, but we’re sneering now.
To fully deliver us from jollity, Steven Courtney emos a piano (w/rainfall) ballad of one tree’s over-earnest promise to deliver your best Christmas ever. “Oscar the Christmas Tree” is a bit unsettling, but i sense a sincere artistic effort here to charm. So i am. Wow.