Year-round Yuletide oddities
Since Colorado blazed the trail of legalization for bale, at least a couple of kookie noels position themselves mile high.
Smooch McGee introduces the topic with “It’s Christmastime in Boulder.” It’s a travel brochure from the city council, with lilting ukulele beckoning.
Breathe Carolina goes power pop with “Mile High Christmas” which might not technically be CO, and is only nuanced with pot. But it rocks.
As you might anticipate, Santa passes the fatty on the left hand side.
Grass Stains shares an adorable amateur performance of “I Got High w/Santa.” Gird your loins for a fun folk sing-along. But i didn’t know that Santa won’t drink your beer.
Mista Blaze celebrates with the hippy hop in “Smoking with Santa.” It’s boyish fun (as in boy band rap).
Bob Narley is under the impression that “Santa Claus is SELLING the Brown” rather than gifting it in your stockings. Rumpa a dump dum.
When Kevin Bloody Wilson sings like he’s stoned he’s twice the Australian. “Santa was Stoned” has become a bit of an anthem for them as can remember the old days when stoner was dangerously cool. It’s okay if you don’t remember it; Dr. Demento didn’t play this one.
Attention must be paid to the big band novelty number “Santa’s Secret.” This jazz rambler from 1944 never saw light of day until Savoy published it with other holiday oddities in 1985 (Mr. Santa’s Boogie). Johnny Guarnieri was an Artie Shaw and Benny Goodman veteran and a teacher and mentor out of L.A. The song here is a thief in your mind, dazzling you with sleights of polyrhythms and improvisation, then leaving a dangerous idea in its wake: Santa + reefer. (Squirrel Nut Zippers try to copy this lightning in a bottle with mixed results.)
Our last offering, you may have noted, featured a jolly fella. Since Clement Clarke Moore happened to mention that Santa was a smoker, plenty have sung about what was in that bowl he was bogarting.
Neon has more international frivolity with “Santa was a Rasta.” This is slightly more psychedelic than Reggae, and the MJ references are neatly tucked around the corners. But, mmm–boy, it is fun.
For the full flavor of Rasta hold in “Rasta Santa” by Jah Small as long as your lungs can take it. The effects are immediate.
If you care to overdose, from about the same time as Jimmy Cliff was Harder Coming Jacob Miller and Ray I were losing themselves in “All I Want for Ismus.” Someone open a window.
Green songs for the holidays are songs of color. Sadly not all songs of color are by men of color.
“Weed for Christmas” by Jason Sereno slathers comedy all over the hip hop. Weak strain.
Manuel Montes jellyrolls the blues with “Let’s Get High for Christmas.” Loads more fun, but we’re not there yet.
“We Blazin Up” is a Christmas pot rap master from Illuminati Congo that you might wanna mix along to.
Glenn David Andrews lays out the blues Naw’lins style with “Got High for Christmas.” These are the Deltas you are looking for.
Does the THC make you think Rastafarian?
Wafande plays it Jamaica cool with “The Only Thing I Want for Christmas is Ganja.” Reggae can be a political force, or it can as here be laid back and give thanks–irie, mon.
Perhaps a bit more needy, Major Lazer wishes up ganja stalks for “Christmas Trees.” This Reggae has been cut with pop music.
Nellie McKay blends the Reggae with Dixieland, soul, and the blues to twist up “Weed (All I Want for Christmas).” It’s a sweet if slightly blue homage to the flammable fun of the holidays.
Catch your breath, and we’ll spin a couple more silly songs sneaking weed into carols.
A 2015 take on ‘Let It Snow’ begs for legalization in “Let Us Toke.” Please stop and rewind at two minutes in, or bear the foolishness of WeedPornDaily playing around.
An unnamed jolly vocalist revels in “Frosty the Dopeman.” Dig that dixieland!
Stoner Stan breathily gasps through “Pack the Bowls” more for himself than us.
‘Cybersue’ Susan McCord also has little song and lots of extra footage making “Jingle Bell Rock-Marijuana Christmas Song” giggly.
My fave-o weed Xmas parody redeems Bob Rivers’s street cred with “Be Clause I Got High.” Fun times off Afroman’s high times.
Some of the Christmas weed songs are basic silly parodies. Because stoners like/are/get silly.
Afroman raps his parodies barely keeping a straight face, especially with “O Chronic Tree.” Hoo brother.
Jimmy Hamms cranks out the mockery in Degenerate Christmas Carols Vol. 3 (i guess) with another take: “Oh Shitty Weed.” (Barely Blue.) Yawn.
Blunt has taken the time to Reggae up ‘Rocking Around’ with “Smoking’ up the Christmas Tree.” Not a bad Cheech and Chong backup.
Jenna C. Johnson is cast in a fantasy montage as the evil-bong bearer flipping quickly through nearly a dozen cutesier-pie cut-ups on Christmas carols you already know, but with a cant toward cannabis. “I’ll be High for Christmas” is lively, but only as funny as it needs to be.
Smarter, but less parodic, “Little Dealer Boy” by Willie Nelson (from The Colbert Report) posits the parable of homegrown presents to the Baby J. This one’s a keeper.
Marijuana instead of mistletoe for Christmas? Well i wouldn’t wanna eat the poisonous latter in brownies. Nor would i like to see slacker-nip stapled to my transoms. I suppose it depends on the frame of mind, and who’s coming over later.
Dent May sucks all the joy out of family and gathering with “I’ll be Stoned for Christmas,” a lounge-rock bit of melting melancholy that captures the wasted life.
Bob Rivers trots out the obliggo Dean Martin parody “I’ll be Stoned for Christmas.” But it’s all about alcoholism. That was last month! Too many cross-over slang sayings for both!! John Valby also takes drinking seriously (not comically) (well…offensively: BLUE ALERT).
Finally The Ronnie bus brings us a sticky-based parody in “I’ll be Stoned for Christmas.” On the other hand, it’s about NOT getting the tea in time for the twenty-fifth.
All style, no wit from Zak Scott as ‘Harry Khronick, Jr.’ with his “I’ll be Stoned for Christmas.” The word stoned is the only substitution in the entire song, but the wavery vocals and percussive keyboards sell this schtick.
Why try pot when the weather outside is frightful? Well, according to Garfunkle and Oates, it helps with your social interactions. But, as with many after-school specials, problems have a snowball effect and your skull-fucking leads to a “Scary F**ked Up Christmas,” not the least of your problems being Doug Benson as a paranoid Papa Noel hiding in the bed. Hyperactive folk.